WHY? WHY? WHY?! MORE»

I was at a handjob parlor recently, and I said to the girl tugging me off: “I have to ask you something, but I’m embarrassed to say it.” MORE»

Lil Wayne was sentenced on Monday to a year at Rikers for tossing a loaded semi-automatic into “a Louis Vuitton knapsack” on his “pot smoke-infused tour bus” (THANKS FOR ALL THE DEETS, FOX NEWS). MORE»

As you may well know, I have had a long-standing battle with the AMI and their No Beard rule. They call it the “Spousal Compromise” because they assume the ONLY reason someone would add a beard to their mustache would be because their wife told them to. MORE»

Over the past few months I have become friends with a girl, which I was all for because I don’t have that many close girl friends where I live. Like most dumb girls, we complain about our issues with boys. She kept asking me about a shared acquaintance we had, and I had told her that he was creepy, but probably harmless and most likely his creepiness was just social awkwardness. MORE»

I’m part of an Internet book club, which is to say, a book club conducted on the Internet that rarely involves real books. But it does involve stuff like this: The International Jurassic Park Erotic Fan-Fiction Writer’s Association, a site that has stories covering pretty much every facet of dinorotica. MORE»

by Damien Hopper; Chicago, IL MORE»