‘Tis the season to be jorry, fa-ra-ra-ra-ra-blahblahblah blah. My favorite part about the holiday season is the war between overindulgent parents and their unhappy offspring ranting about shitty presents. Now is the prime time to go about hunting for these fine specimens with camera in hand. If you catch some winners you could send them over to the ihatemyparents and nervouswhitedads photo blogs.
For example: Look at what I spotted in the wild suburban jungle yesterday.
“I want to open my Christmas presents now!” My four year old cousin decided self-incarceration by way of chairs would solve everything but found out differently.
KIDS:
“Daddy, daddy, fuck puppies! I want a skunk.”
“Happy holla daaze- deeez nutz!”
Who needs to gift wrap when you’ve got bubble wrap?
“Are we dogs or are we kids?”
“Are we fish or are we babies?”
Some days you’re the man statue and some days you’re the baby.
Hey little Darth-y, which button do I press to make me some cotton candy?
Bow down to Satan forever.
If Santa’s dead then….
“I’ll just kill myself …”
” … after I finish this beer.”
“Whoa, my first girlfriend? Maybe Santa does exist!”
—
DADS:
Nervous about being a dad
Nervous about baby’s first driving lesson
Nervous about finally throwing children off the bridge
Nervous about being a gay dad
Nervous about having to raise such a sassy baby
Nervous about adopting black kids
Nervous about being special
Nervous about exercise
Nervous about MySpace
Nervous about fashion
Nervous about losing it over spare ribs
Nervous about high-fives on the dance floor
Nervous about growing old and getting lost in the woods forever
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cool
12.25.09 at 7:17 pm
some real lols for the nervous dads
12.25.09 at 7:47 pm
yo i was surprised a female wrote those captions cuz the whole time i was reading it, i laughed instead of thinking about a vagina. this is a good thing.
12.25.09 at 7:48 pm
the sassy dad one is tres funny
12.25.09 at 8:09 pm
NO.
12.26.09 at 12:09 am
theres nothing to be nervous about with that exercise bulge
12.26.09 at 12:32 am
love that sassy baby
12.26.09 at 2:34 am
They were going to do a “Nervous Black Dads” website, but most jails don’t allow cameras.
That sculpture is from the amazing Vigeland Sculpture Park in Oslo:
http://members.cox.net/c.kau/Vigeland/
12.26.09 at 7:33 am
the sassy baby is so cute
12.26.09 at 9:02 am
This post sucked.
12.26.09 at 10:48 am
Ha! Merlin Mann and Mike Monteiro as nervous gay dads.
12.26.09 at 11:49 am
these are fucking great, haha. nervous bridge dad- hot
12.26.09 at 12:41 pm
nervouswhitedads too rich haha
12.26.09 at 12:44 pm
yo i was surprised val wrote those captions cuz the whole time i was reading it, i didnt laughed instead of thinking about a vagina. this is a bad thing.
12.26.09 at 3:42 pm
The best.
12.26.09 at 6:52 pm
Sassy Baby is teh shez.
12.26.09 at 10:49 pm
Sassy baby made me lolz
12.26.09 at 11:25 pm
The rib enthusiast made me giggle like the sassy baby.
12.27.09 at 4:43 pm
uhh this was the best post ever.
12.28.09 at 6:52 am
I Am
12.28.09 at 7:53 pm
These photo posts are always, to paraphrase Stepen Baldwin a la Threesome, like pizza. Even if they are bad, they’re still pretty good. But this one is like a pizza that actually is good.
12.28.09 at 9:01 pm
these were awesome.
12.29.09 at 3:17 pm
not nervous, just paranoid
12.30.09 at 11:06 am
Nervous white dads
12.30.09 at 8:09 pm