Hi !
I’m a sort of average-boring looking 25 yr old girl. I like riding bikes, I work as an organizer, and I’m pretty snarky-charismatic. I don’t have to beg to have boys be interested in me, but they aren’t knocking down my door either. I travel for work, so I like to work boys fast (i.e. hook up quickly) when I meet one I like.
The only hitch is that I have a penis. I know, totally random. I don’t look like a trans person at all, so it’s not like it’s something guys pick up on. So how do I let potential hookups in on the fact that I have bits that aren’t standard issue? ( I tend to move in progressive-y circles where there aren’t many hate-criming types, so that sort of reaction I’m not worried about. )
Should I use something like “trans”? That phrase is good cause it shows absolutely no shame. But it’s bad, cause the boy is going to start thinking about that girl from “Be Diddy’s Assitant”, or they could get confused about whether I mean I’m like becoming a boy or something (which has happened).
Should I be obtuse and say “intersexed”? It’s like sorta true, but not. A normal person would think this would mean some messed up confused looking genitalia, whereas mine is a sorta normal penis.
Should I say “I have a penis”? I really like the straight-forwardness of that.
Or what about looking all serious and scared and vulnerable for a second- and going into a line about how “i’m different”? This is a bit much for a hookup, but can be good for letting a longer term dating partner down gently.
Thoughts on the terms?
Any other thoughts about the dating world for straight girls who ride bikes who have peni?
Thanks, and please don’t use my name!
J.
Dear Straight Girl?
Wow. I have to admit this email confuses me. So you’re a boy who used to be a girl but you have a dick? Or you’re a boy who likes boys but dresses up like a girl and has a dick and boobs? I’m seriously not trying to sound mean. I don’t have a problem with trans folk whatsoever. Some of my best friend’s are trans. I think that the number one thing you should NOT do is “trick” whomever you are trying to hook up with into thinking you’re something that you’re not. It might not get you laid as much as you want, but isn’t it assumed that when you go under the knife (or not?) that things are gonna be different? You made your trannie bed, now lie in it. Embrace who you are and get into the gay/lesbian/transgendered scene. I mean, right? Since you travel a lot, get Facebook about the scene and make sure you have a GLTG friend in every city. Portland’s easy. San Fran too. Brooklyn shouldn’t be too hard and I’m sure LA has an L Word vibe going on. Any other city you might be fucked but I don’t know, I’m not in the scene. It’s fucking underground and cool as shit and I wish I could be. I wouldn’t bust out with “I HAVE A DICK!” but if you’re trans, own that shit and be up front about it. Tricking only leads to bad situations, regardless of what your gender/sexual preference is, but probably worse for GLTG. There are a bunch of transgender support sites as well.
Hope that helps,
Lesley
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at first, i thought lesley was talking, man, that was funny. I told myself things like “i knew this was not just a jewish nose”. “and those cheeks, of course!” but no.
10.27.08 at 2:07 pm
I have no idea what is going on.
10.27.08 at 2:10 pm
“I don’t look a trans person, so it’s not like it’s something guys pick up on.”
YIKES
there should be database everyone can refer to so if you’re ever on a date you never hav to worry about something being pushed inside of you while your having a romantic moment
10.27.08 at 2:19 pm
Si vous n’en voulons … Je vais prendre cela!
10.27.08 at 2:50 pm
Is that the photo of her? Because she doesn’t look like a girl with a dick. She looks like a guy in a dress.
10.27.08 at 3:36 pm
Blognigger should have definitely fielded this one.
10.27.08 at 4:13 pm
My understanding is that most of those folks *don’t* go for below-the-belt surgery. It (the surgery) involves messing about with things that are perhaps better left alone, and gender is performative anyway. I have a friend who’s a lesbian, but for a long time only wanted to date trans-men (i.e., lesbians who had transitioned to men), so there’s somebody out there who wants what Lesley has got. She should focus on finding such people, rather than going for “regular” straight guys & then whipping out the dick.
10.27.08 at 4:14 pm
gay is the new straight
10.27.08 at 5:19 pm
Emily H. speaks from personal experience.
10.27.08 at 6:01 pm
People who use the word “snarky” are assholes and not because of their “snark”
10.27.08 at 8:54 pm
Just Say No (To Chicks With Dicks)
10.27.08 at 10:36 pm
I had an argument recently with a gay dude friend of mine who was saying that chicks with dicks are just guys with tits. I disagreed and showed him some 20 year old Brazilian tranny on the internet and he had to admit that she was so hot it almost turned him straight.
That’s the thing, straight guys who like chicks with dicks like them because they’re chicks, not because they are dudes dressed like women. Most gay people who indulge in cross dressing rarely look pretty, in fact they mostly look scary and ridiculous because they are just being campy and making fun of women or whatever. Just saying, big difference between gay tranny and chick with dick. Most straight dudes totally know the difference and that’s why travel to Thailand and Rio is more popular than travel to New York City. Better trannies. Wanting to fuck a tranny at a disco in Chelsea is gay, wanting to fuck a Brazilian tranny porn star is merely kinky and adventurous.
So I guess my advice is stay away from gay bars and hit up the rock bars. If you’re cute you should be all good. I would bring a friend along always, because there are still many assholes in rock bars so be careful. If you are in Austin Texas, just go to Beauty Bar on 7th street. Every one at Beauty Bar is a 16 year old tranny-punk on a fixed gear bicycle wearing American Apparel leggings as a head band and super tight jorts so you’ll probably find some luck or insider info over there.
10.27.08 at 11:14 pm
Daz:
Shut up.
10.28.08 at 3:09 am
And another thing,
No just kidding.
10.28.08 at 3:27 am
And another thing,
that gay friend of mine is my bitch.
10.28.08 at 7:13 am
I thought this was going to be funny and then she took it all serious and shit
10.28.08 at 10:52 am
if you have a penis/vagina combo or penis/female breasts you are a fucking freak of nature. you need to let everybody know which combo you have, if you have a combo. If you’re just a regular fag who dresses up like a woman, then you’re ok.
10.28.08 at 12:28 pm
I say fuck it! I’d prolly hit it and I’m 100% straight, even if she told me. Of course she’d have to look like a chick and be hot, especially if she looks like the chick with the dick on Sunny.
10.28.08 at 1:02 pm
kenny vs spenny
who can bone the most women
spenny lets a trans repeatedly suck him off
kenny triumphs… again
10.28.08 at 3:45 pm
Fuck it. Just surprise people. Like in Trainspotting.
10.29.08 at 4:41 am
Ah, just saw this got answered! For the record, that’s not me in the photo.
Also, there is no tricking involved. Straight dudes want to flirt with me, and I want to flirt with them. We make out. No tricking involved.
11.11.08 at 2:56 am