Hang on: Before the idea of “Hipsters on Foodstamps” causes you to push a random Williamsburg resident in front of a L train, here are seven things to keep in mind about Monday’s dramatic Salon article:
1. The article is phony.
Usage of the term “Hipster” and the anecdotal nature of the author’s evidence are both dead giveaways: The Salon piece was clearly manufactured (rather brilliantly) in order to enrage a segment of the population and elicit forwards and feedback.
The article depends on anecdotal evidence since its thesis is a joke: The piece elevates an issue that basically doesn’t exist, and that’s why there’s no data to support it. Even the author admits that the “overwhelming majority” of Food Stamps go to “traditional recipients.”
How about….
“BREAKING: Economy So Bad That Some Young People We Found Are Turning to Food Stamps.”
Tasty, but doesn’t quite have the legs to go viral. Wisely, the author spun the article so that it would.
2. Buying kale is better than buying Cheetos and Kool-aid.
The same people lambasting “Hipsters” for buying organic shit and cooking it at home would never in a billion years have the balls to scream at more seasoned food-stamp veterans for buying the shit that is literally killing their kids.
Many Americans probably think it’s uppity to buy “fancy vegetables and shit” — but that in itself is a fucking problem. We have an obesity epidemic that is the number one killer of people in the USA — killing 25 times as many people as all murders put together and costing us 150 BILLION dollars in health care per year.
If ANY people on food stamps are buying shit that’s healthy, it’s cheaper for society in the long run. Making cumin look like caviar is disingenuous.
3. Goldman Sachs just paid out 16 BILLION dollars in Bonuses.
(And the media is sucking their dicks for showing such “restraint.”)
Sorry: As much as I can’t stand to have a conversation with a Women’s Studies major, or a drink with a Sociology Ph.D, they’re not the ones that bankrupted this country.
The BILLIONAIRE bankers who got bailed out by YOUR taxpayer money and still walked away scot free — each one of them is going to have to go to jail or at least pay back the loan I gave them before I’ll listen to anyone bitch about what their victims are eating.
4. It’s rough out there.
No one wants to be on Food Stamps, and you have to be under a minimum amount of income in order to qualify for the program. If the guys mentioned in the article qualify, they qualify.
I don’t think anyone can argue that it’s not a LOT harder to find a job now than it was five years ago. The solution is not simply for people with graduate degrees to go and “work at McDonald’s” because …
5. We NEED poets and academics and shit.
Yes, I’m the first one to rip the piss out of them because they’re snobby and it’s fun to give them the finger….
My dickishness aside though, people who are smart enough to complete graduate programs are smart enough to know the scant commercial viability of their degrees.
You really think they were in denial, or that they studied Philosophy of Science as a get-rich-quick scheme?
Most of these guys were likely prepared to do all the things our society demands of people who wish to think or create for a living: re-locate to wherever academia would offer them a position, work for a low salary, and make financial sacrifices.
It’s NOT okay though, to make them give up their fruity pursuits entirely — we need academics, and unfortunately we need artists as well.
As Crass famously asked: Do they owe you a living?
Of course they don’t. But in the surreal situation we’re in, where the rich have bankrupted the poor — the OPPOSITE of trickle down economics — I think you can argue that they DO owe you food.
6. They earned those benefits.
Who the fuck ARE Food stamps for? People who haven’t managed to rise above the poverty line for generations???
The two(!) guys in the article have been paying taxes all their lives — or at least their parents have, and this is exactly what their dollars should go to support.
Guess what — I DON’T think their parents should be supporting them — it’s a fucking myth that everyone with thick-rimmed glasses has a trust fund seeded by billionaire parents. MOST people come from worker bees who slaved away to build existences in the middle class — and I don’t think their retirement funds and discretionary income should be wasted, any further than it already has, because of a situation born of bankers’ greed.
7. The woman who sent this to me is a fucking hypocrite.
No offense mom, but you live on the Upper West Side in a rent-controlled apartment. You’ve been paying less than $900 a month since 1970 for that goddamn palace we grew up in. Who the fuck are you to start throwing stones? Just because you got lucky? Just because you still have the house? Just because I still have a job? There but for the grace of god go I, mom. And so do fucking you.
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Is this what the guy that photographs his turds eats?
03.17.10 at 10:43 am
In Australia we don’t have foodstamps… instead we get government assistance payments which we are free to spend on what we require. Although this will probably change and go the way of the US system where peoples government payment expenditure is governed and monitored I’d prefer to hope that wont happen. Anyway, I study full time but also have a part time job so I don’t qualify for any support – except for when I go on study leave for a few weeks over exam period and then I qualify for student assistance. I spend that money on fresh, and yes, sometimes gourmet ingredients so that I can make healthy meals that assist me in staying alert, energized and focused so that I can get through the torturous period of examinations. How is this any different to students who live in New York and happen to choose to eat healthily? “HOW DARE THEY BUY HEALTHY FOOD – Those leeches of society, spending our hard earned tax dollars on organic tomatoes!”. People are whack. Why should food stamps be synonymous with with unhealthy, starchy, sugary, low-vitamin foods?
Oh, I forgot to mention I also spend some of my government assistance when I get it on cigarettes and coffee, because you know, when you’re pulling 20 hour day/nights studying… you kind of loose your shit. Should I be apologising? I guess the same people who are complaining now will be thanking me for the high taxes I’ll be paying thanks to my studies and all the near-poverty-line years I’ve spent completing my degree.
03.17.10 at 11:03 am
I used my GI Bill money on a Marshall stack.
03.17.10 at 11:03 am
Real good. It’s the all-spin zone. Remember, by the way, that 50 years ago journalists like this were writing articles like this about Negros.
03.17.10 at 11:05 am
I think so Uncle Wah Wah, I think so…
03.17.10 at 11:11 am
this is solid
03.17.10 at 11:22 am
That plate of food looks delicious.
03.17.10 at 11:26 am
@Taeil: Did you go with a full stack? I hope not, unless you’re playing Red Rocks and the P.A. is out of commission.
03.17.10 at 11:27 am
I was shocked to see Salon, a publication I respect, approve something so shlocky. Funny, because their audience are primarily liberals and hipster-friendly folk. It’s like they’re pandering to the six degrees of seperation, hoping all their readers will forward it to their conservative parents.
03.17.10 at 11:28 am
I formed a new band, we’re called “The Liberals”, i think we’ll be big!!!
03.17.10 at 11:36 am
The biggest flaw in the Salon article is the assumption that $150 spent on rabbit and kale is an extravagance, but Doritos and Hot Pockets isn’t. Who cares? It’s not like they get more food stamps when the money runs out. Let ‘em eat whatever faggot-ass food they want.
Still, I would love to walk into a McD’s and see a guy in thick-rimmed glasses and skinny jeans behind the counter with all the imports, still trying to act like he’s better than his current situation.
03.17.10 at 11:37 am
@Drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something
who cares, have you ever played a full stack? it’s like you can feel that shit in your teeth and leg-bones. stop being a wuss puss.
03.17.10 at 12:09 pm
Why is SC so committed to “debunking the myth” that hipsters are a bunch of spoiled rich kids, and proving they’re all blue collar “artists” in reality? Who cares if they’re rich? Everyone knows the rich get laid, get high and get by. You mad?
03.17.10 at 12:29 pm
THANK YOU. exactly.
03.17.10 at 12:54 pm
@Homo: Just your leg bones? What about the other bones? Is it “like” you can feel it in your bones, or can you actually feel it there? Not sure I wanna drop the extra coin on a 2nd cab if the feeling is only an approximation. Enlighten me.
By the way, who says “wuss puss”? Are you a rock climbing frat boy who used to go to youth group every Wednesday night in high school, but always dreamed of breaking out as a beer drinking bad-boy?
03.17.10 at 1:06 pm
this whole article deserves one big “well, yeah, of course”
on point.
I have a few friends on foodstamps and they are really just scrapping by, but, they are the same kids you would find at your music/art shows.
03.17.10 at 1:23 pm
well said.
03.17.10 at 1:30 pm
holy fuckin’ yawn- clearly st paddy’s is takin’ a toll on this site… i’ll be back tomorrow.
03.17.10 at 1:33 pm
Excellent. I agree completely. I am often saddened when I hear the “old” ladies in my building wheezing up the stairs and then going to the Key Foods to buy cheap ass poison to put into their bodies with their EBT cards. I just want to go in there, buy a bunch of clean, healthy food with them and send them on their ways. It’s not about being an elitist, it’s about being healthy. All the processed food is killing America.
03.17.10 at 1:34 pm
I TOTALLY know who sent this to you too. I’d bet my dangling body part(s) on it too.
I fuck I read about this a couple of days ago and was gonna send you the link from the Salon and got SICK TO MY STOMACH because I grew up on Food Stamps and did the initial research that led to most jurisdictions moving form paper stamps to EBT cards, but I digress.
You nailed that Salon formula for FWD and Twitterpeting: “Let’s Hate On Hipsters.” It’s like racism against crybaby white kids with valueless trust funds. Amen.
Fuck it. My grandmother only bought Hamburger Helper and Trix (are for kids). That’s why I weigh 350 pounds today. I don’t care anymore. I fucking WISH I had some motherfuckin’ food stamps. Dime on the dollar for some of DC’s freshest street rock.
Maybe some “Hipsters” having to resort to food stamps will create a new class of young people who understand the plight of the true poor…oh what?! Sorry the Trix (are for kids) made me retarded.
03.17.10 at 1:53 pm
@ Drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something
wow what a fag, you are against fullstacks? are you also against rocking? maybe your laptop band doesn’t need one, hell, just plug into the PA and do your white boy rap, nobody cares.
playing a fullstack, you can feel it EVERYWHERE, OOOOH, is that what you wanted to hear? god damn! yeah, I can feel it in my dick, happy?
and the wuss puss thing was meant to sound stupid, god damn, calm down pussy.
03.17.10 at 1:58 pm
@ HOMO and Drippy Dix – wow. You guys are all over it. I’ve been selling guitars, amps, and effects for almost 15 years now, so lemme put in my two cents… a full stack makes sense if you gig. However, it’s more about tone innit? I’ll take my Boogie Stiletto 2×12 over a Marshall ANYTHING. And really, the baddest guitar sound I ever heard was a dude using a Boogie pre-amp through a Crown PA amp and 4 Yorkville 2×15 PA cabs… his name was Kurt Cobain. Bring the insults in 5, 4, 3, 2….
03.17.10 at 2:08 pm
Salon just wanted to get some of the traffic (hate or otherwise) that the idiot chick garnered from her stupidly named blog about how she can feed her family of five gourmet meals, throw dinner parties with cases of wine, and buy designer clothes on $1600 unemployment & $200 food stamps per month while living in NYC.
My question is, how the fuck much does she pay for rent?
03.17.10 at 2:12 pm
I have an Ampeg Reverbojet from the 60’s, with the original G tubes. When I was 16 Some teacher at my school heard i was a budding guitarist and sold it to me for $50. Her husband had left her decades before and had left it behind. I paid for it by cleaning a Mac Tools truck once a week. It always bummed me out then because I couldn’t make it distort and couldn’t feel it in my bones.. But now I’m 25 and am so glad it’s not a half or fullstack. When I play it, I can feel it in my soul. I’m a wuss puss, and I love all of you.
03.17.10 at 2:17 pm
WELL GUYS I USE PEVEY MESABOOGIE MEGA-STAR IBANEZ TO MAKE MY DICK SOUND BIGS
03.17.10 at 2:23 pm
that’s what I was saying, for live shows, so fun playing a full stack.
it IS all about tone though, yr totally right, but when you get a killer tone (I use a plexi full stack) and it’s blasting at you, nothing beats it.
a bummer thing about the plexi’s though is how often you need to have them fixed
something I discovered about Kurt Cobain, my buddy told me after noticing I used a DS1 boss distortion, that that was what Kurt used as well, I never knew that, is that true? those pedals are like 50 bucks.. but I stand by em.
03.17.10 at 2:32 pm
The GI Bill money that was left after tuition I spent on drugs hookers and vacations.
03.17.10 at 2:33 pm
guitar talk on SBTVC, hahahaha OOPS!
oh, and my stepdad called me a wuss puss once because I rode a skateboard and listened to punk instead of playing football and shit, I laughed my ass off.
03.17.10 at 2:35 pm
@ HOMO – well, a boss DS2 (same thing, really), sometimes a DOD Thrashmaster (it’s fucking hot pink, and my fave distortion of all time), there’s a really cool gear-porn website here: http://www.guitargeek.com/
the info comes from roadies and studio engineers, and they even show you what order everything was hooked up in.
My personal rule with equipment is “no modelers, no plastic.” and it seems to work for me. As long as you dig your sound, use what feels right. And remember, the girls fucking you backstage don’t know a Plexi from a dick in the dirt, they just like it loud.
03.17.10 at 2:44 pm
HOMO – I know, dude. But have you ever tried to talk guitars with the guys on gear-sites? It’s worse than a fucking Star Trek convention. SBTVC is a good place to talk about it, cuz I know you’re not a Dream Theater wankster.
03.17.10 at 2:47 pm
@ drippy dog dix, loozer boozer,homo: OMG, YOU GUYS ARE IN BANDS??!!!!! HOW SOON CAN I SUCK UR DIX??!!!!
03.17.10 at 3:04 pm
oh yeah, man, guitargeek.com, that site is nutso! I wish there was a way I could build my rig with their cool little icons, I’ve always wanted to.. maybe I will just gank stuff from their site and see what I can do.
oh, and the dude said he(Kurdt) used to use a DS1, but he broke it on tour then found a DS2 (he said this yesterday, I never knew too much about what he used), but a thrashmaster? I gotta check that out! I’m down for anything hot pink, especially if it sounds awesome.
and yeah, I’ve never ever contributed to any forums on any of those sites, it seems as though those people are too busy talking gear and nerding off to actually write and play cool shit, it’s strange.. there should be a site devoted to losers like myself who kinda slap shit together and play. I mean, I’m really into all of my rigs, and I did (through trial and error) end up with killer tones, and I stand by them 100%, but it’s not because some dude with a ponytail who’s in a fusion band and works at a guitar center advised me towards it.
my plexi was again broken (output transformer) for a show a few nights ago, so I borrowed a JCM800, 100w, I’m kinda feeling those more now, less knobs, just simple EQ and presence and volume, that thing was loud but controlled as fuck… ok, now I’m getting all geeked.. we’re way off topic… hey SBTVC, start a column for losers in bands that have herpes and nice gear (no solid state, or fat chicks… just kidding)
03.17.10 at 3:09 pm
This is the best article I’ve ever read on this site. Tear to fucking eye, man. Tear to fucking eye.
03.17.10 at 3:18 pm
You mean “best article about an article from a different site i’ve ever read on this site”.
03.17.10 at 3:36 pm
I spent my GI bill on school.
Then.. I used the rest for Hot Dogs and Beer.
These days, I’m getting kind of fat.
03.17.10 at 3:51 pm
@Homo & Loozer: Ha, Homo, you are easy to rile up. I really don’t care about a half stack versus a full stack, and obviously getting a good tone is more important (dropping knowledge bombs!). Wuss puss sounds really gay, and no self respecting dirtbag punk rocker that I ever met would say something like that. Maybe your step dad is the fag? P.S. New Found Glory isn’t a punk band, and longboarding doesn’t count. I have a 50w Orange head that I play through a Marshall Cab. Those Boogie cabinets are awesome. I really like the clones that Brad from Fu Manchu is building, Creepy Fingers Effects. Sorry for ball-busting the sensitives.
@Hot Chick: Hot chicks don’t comment on webernet blogs, and I didn’t say anything corny about being in a band or girls fucking me backstage. However, feel free to suck my dick if I’m ever single again. I’ll keep you posted.
03.17.10 at 4:48 pm
this was a good read.
03.17.10 at 5:45 pm
An Orange head? wow! you must be in one of those really original “stoner rock” bands that is littering texas at the moment, (and just like all of them you’ve never heard anything by grief or eyehategod) sucks to be you, loser. what the hell is new found glory? you sound all wussy pussy, not me.
03.17.10 at 6:39 pm
oh, and I bet you have a denim vest as well.. what a homo!
03.17.10 at 6:40 pm
This article is the best thing I read today, and this guitar amp fanboy flame-war is just about the gayest. THANKS A LOT TAEIL LOOK WHAT YOU DID.
03.17.10 at 7:08 pm
fuck you all, I rule!
03.17.10 at 7:19 pm
I play a PRS Santana SE MD with Ibanez heads and a Warhammer 400 KG Amp: Brutal Edition with twin super-reverb coolcoils, usually through a Crunch Factory and an Alpha Wave Field Generator, which I then modulate with a horn driven talkbox tube inserted into my anus.
That said, I’m incredibly excited to trick and kill each and every one of you guitar guys! Hope you don’t mind me putting makeup on your body and fucking you deep in the woods
03.17.10 at 8:07 pm
All of you hipster scumbags are in denial. I like how you rationalize taking taxpayer money to buy your quail eggs. Thisnisnt a moral relativism final, you DO lose points for being irresponsible sucubii.
03.17.10 at 9:38 pm
@Vlad the cunt
So refusing to wallow in shame by eating like a dog in the world’s least generous welfare state is irresponsible?
Imagine if this bitch were on welfare: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/16/donna-simpson-nj-woman-ea_n_501245.html
03.17.10 at 9:56 pm
SHUT UP. It’s not WHAT they’re buying on foodstamps. I don’t care if they’re eating gold flakes on a platinum plate. It’s the fact that they have foodstamps. THEY CAN GET A FUCKING JOB and pay for their food like everyone else. It just so happens they don’t feel like waking up early in the morning, so they go for shit jobs where they have no responsibility, and where they don’t get paid enough to eat. I CALL BULLSHIT. Get them into khakis and put them into an office, so they can actually suffer. These people aren’t poor because of the recession. They’re poor because they think it’s romantic.
03.17.10 at 10:03 pm
Hey BooHiss – FUCK YOU
You see, they CANT just get a fucking job – there are no fucking jobs. Why should they work at Radio Shack just because you and your buddies made off with the fuckin economy. fuck you and concentrate on the real problem – it’s NOT THEM.
03.17.10 at 10:43 pm
if i wrote this article id staple it to the salon dudes face
“young urbanites” …fuckouttahere…
03.18.10 at 12:07 am
I kinda agree with @boohiss. I’m CDN, so I’ll go with what I know. I worked at a social assistance (welfare to you yanks) office for a number of years. The money that people receive on welfare is completely de-humanizing, far more than working at mcdonald’s or radio shack. A single person would earn more money working part time at rotten ron’s for a month than the max they would qualify for from social assistance. I also know, from my own experience putting myself through university, that you can get a job in a restaurant any day of the week. You can literally walk in off the street, fill out a job app, and have shifts the next week.
I resented it big time when I’d hear people tell me they were scraping by, then go out to grab a coffee and see 50 of my clients smoking cigarettes, at $10 a pack, just hangin’ in front of the building, with no where important to be.
Just because you can’t get the jobs you want right now, doesn’t mean thst jobs don’t exist. I’m sorry you have a fancy degree and you can’t find a job as a philosopher. Try something else! It’s far more commendable to be working, and contributing something, somewhere.
In my humble opinion.
03.18.10 at 1:30 am
“Contributing something.” Please define this. It’s so easy to dash it pronto to a Job, to a wage-paying position, because it supposedly contributes to the economy. Does it? Does it contribute so very, very much at minimum wage? Once again, this is an instance where I find it hard to reconcile the contempt against workin’ folks seeking some government assistance with a dismissal of the crimes against humanity committed by ‘folks’ making over 1000% of what those other folks make. Havin’ a hard time. Just sayin’.
03.18.10 at 2:13 am
They need to do an article about trying to stay off food stamps, getting a job as a cashier, then a bunch of losers try to buy vanilla flavored cigars with EBT cards. Just because some rat hole bodega takes EBT for crack pipes and blunts doesn’t mean it’s the law. These people think they are entitled to the government buying their recreational drugs and accessories, and brag about how jobs and working are for bitches, not players. There are jobs all over, the military is always recruiting, and Americans refuse to take the work, because it isn’t as hip as suffering for their art.
03.18.10 at 5:25 am
well played, mr leo, well played
03.18.10 at 8:06 am
AMEN. Way to go, Leo.
03.18.10 at 10:52 am
Thanks, finally a voice of reason.
03.18.10 at 1:25 pm
@Tooks @BooHiss
1. Have you ever been to Baltimore (where the two quoted people from the Salon article live)? There aren’t jobs here like there are in other places, not even shitty jobs, now more than ever.
2. I dont know how long ago you went to college, but even part-time server jobs are hard to come by right now because thats what ALL the unemployed people are trying to do, and there are fewer businesses open than ever. Even when I went to college less than 8 years ago those kinds of jobs were out there for the taking if you had your shit together at all and you wanted a job. No more.
Times ain’t like they used to be, and a lot of intelligent, qualified people who wish they could find more gainful/any employment are just scraping by.
03.18.10 at 5:45 pm