If you have the cable television and do not watch Lawman tonight, you should probably take down all you mirrors in your home so that you never have to look at yourself again. In fact, have your mirrors sneak up on you and slit your throat while you sleep. Tonight, December 2nd, 2009 at 10 / 9 C, Steven Seagal will be introduced to America as a cop. Not a ride-along cop but a full fledged police officer with all the killing power, arresting behavior, and bad guy stomping efficiency of Nico Toscani. The thing is he’s been doing this for over 10 years as a cop. Yes, he is an actor who plays a cop and as an actor as a cop.
WTF? The last person that I knew of who was an actor turned cop is Robert Conrad. At a taping of Politically Incorrect he looked me in the eyes and said, “I don’t always arrest them. Sometimes I’d let a guy sober up in my cruiser and lecture him about how stupid he was being.” While that may seem noble, imagine being hammered and a guy from TV who plays a cop is telling you not to fuck around anymore in his cruiser, in reality. Not sure if those are the kind of lines that should be blurred. (No pun.) Although this may set a president, and the Precedent of the United States with all the dusty people in congress and the senate will mince onto the battlefield to bag some bad guys! That would be killer. (Pun intended.)
So tonight, set your clock watches to A&E, warn your jaw that it will be in “drop mode” for an hour, and rap yourself in bubble wrap to ensure you don’t injure yourself while collapsing from disbelief.
Oddly enough, Steve was barely about discussing this Lawman shit on the radio show we did with him.
P.S. YES, that is correct Shaq became a cop too, battling CHILD PORN! JEZUZZZZZZZZZZ!
Lawman
Seagal as Nico Toscani, the best cop who ever lived
AND finally actor, Robert “Bang Up Job” Conrad with the original Gregory “Leisure Suit Beak Breaker” Boyington
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Isn’t Shaq a cop now?
12.02.09 at 3:55 pm
Yep this looks RIDICULOUS. Sure to have tons of fun stupids in it.
12.02.09 at 4:20 pm
Shaq was a cop in Miami when he was on the Miami Heat..then he was traded to the Phoenix Suns, and no longer lives in Miami.
12.02.09 at 4:39 pm
I can’t play guitar.
12.02.09 at 5:23 pm
This show is gonna fucking rock! I hope he breaks people’s noses then throws pool balls at their teeth.
I bet Van Damme is so jealous.
12.02.09 at 6:07 pm
On the promo he says that Van Damme runs the other way whenever he sees Seagal
12.02.09 at 6:34 pm
“I just read the greatest screen play ever written”
“Who wrote it?”
“I did” – Seagal
12.02.09 at 10:27 pm
Sorry I had to tune into “Conspiracy Theory” with Jesse Ventura instead. Glad I did actually.
12.02.09 at 11:33 pm
when will the chinamen bootleg this shit so i can watch it on the internettes for free?
12.02.09 at 11:36 pm
Thanks for posting this,
That shit was too funny.
Did anybody see that “spidey sense”
Seagal got. He’s reached superhero status.
12.02.09 at 11:53 pm
Should already be online….I get my episodes of Curb YOur Enthusiasm a few hours after they air.
12.03.09 at 12:49 am
seagal vision is a nice touch.
12.03.09 at 3:36 am
Another reason New Orleans is off the mutha-forking chizz. We got Steven Seagal.
12.03.09 at 8:49 am
Seagal talking “black” was my favorite part. He even called one guy “Brotha”.
12.03.09 at 11:20 am
@Carl, I know it was amazing, he started to say a sentence is his normal bullshiza zen master vernacular, then realized they wouldn’t understand, and in a split second switch to talking “black”. that split second made the show!
12.03.09 at 12:17 pm
Segal @ the guy who kicked out a police car window ” …This gentleman is not a good zen practitioner.”
amazing show… the premier did not disappoint!
12.03.09 at 12:43 pm
JESUS IS PROGRAMING TV!
12.03.09 at 1:56 pm
Why did everyone get off on suspended sentences?
12.03.09 at 11:58 pm