So I recently had a BFF, or I thought she was my BFF before said BFF (of three years) started dating my recent ex, who I was mega-bummed about breaking up with. WHAT!? Ultimate friendship girl code violated, right?! So now what?
A. I am seriously mega bummed and pissed off at both of them. Dude was a dud anyway but I was still sad about him and she knew and comforted me when I was bummed … then totally dated him two months later!
B. I am super angry at her and can barely look at her without thinking really bad things. She feels really bad but is still dating him. She wants us to just be friends again. I want to hurt her … and her junk. Or start dating one of her ex’s. This is an immature reaction, I know, but I don’t care. I feel ultimately betrayed and never would have imagined her doing this to me. She is a genuinely good person — or WAS!
C. She didn’t ask for my permission, she just went for it then told me the next day like, “Oops, I met this guy and … uhhh, you already know him … but I really like him now!”
What the Hell!? I am so pissed off at her, I don’t know how to get rid of this anger. I seriously even tried cutting her out of pictures I had with her and that felt really good. I also read my tarot a bunch to find out if they were going to break up soon. NOPE! They are still dating. GROSS! Now when we see each other in public we ignore each other, which also bums me out. What do I do?
Seriously,
-TRYING TO GET OVER IT
Dear Trying To Get Over It,
This sucks. She did break the ultimate friendship girl code violation and a true BFF, she is not. What to do is simple and also the hardest:
A. DO NOT date one of her ex’s. You don’t even want to. That’s stupid and she will not give a shit.
B. She is not your BFF.
C. If this dude is your ex, he probably sucks, so there’s that. Now she has a shitty boyfriend who you didn’t even want to be with. Don’t let your feelings control your actions because your feelings will pass, but when we act on something, we are stuck with it forever and it gives us an even bigger mess to clean up.
D. DO ignore her. Maybe one day you’ll forgive her and let bygones be bygones, but for today, CUT OFF ALL CONTACT. Ignoring someone is the hardest thing to do and it’s the most ultimate burn!!! With everything you have in you, do not contact or react to either her or your ex. Act as if they have never existed. Hang with other friends, make other friends. If you see her at a party, walk to the other side of the room. Don’t even look at her. She is a complete stranger to you now. Trust me, no matter how she responds, her heart will be dying.
Good luck,
-LESLEY ARFIN
lesleyarfin.com
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or she could always tell the ex-boyfriend that she’s had second thoughts and make those two assholes break up. then, she fucks him once, tells him he sucks too much in bed and dumps him again. it’s a win-win. boyfriend and bff feel like shit.
after that you can forget they exist but it’s always 100 times nicer if you can kick them both into the dirt first.
12.07.09 at 11:22 am
sadists
12.07.09 at 11:32 am
Wow, that sucks Trying to Get Over It. It sucks when people so obviously reveal themselves to be the self-centered pricks they are…And the self-centered pricks we all are and try to hide from other people.
Ignore them, be awesome, because no matter what your best friend does in her life from this point on, she will always be the kind of person who would do that to someone, and you’ll always be the kind of person who rose above it.
12.07.09 at 11:39 am
Cuz u told him he’s a possessive jealous asshole with a big dick and she’s has a daddy complex and a stretched out vag. Doy, you shouldn’t have told her so much. Also you read tarot cards, eyou had it coming. Bye!
12.07.09 at 11:57 am
Trying to Get Over it writes like a teen girl magazine.
12.07.09 at 11:59 am
That does suck, but a person you’ve known for three years is not really a bff. Someone told me once that by adulthood you will have known probably one maybe two or three people, if your are lucky and a good person, who are your true best friends. Best friend meaning a person you could call at 3 in the morning to help you hide a body and would never say a word, that kind of bond and level of trust. Everyone else in life are in reality various levels of aquaintances that we all superficially pretend our close friends until called upon and then most of us disappear.
12.07.09 at 12:43 pm
“you should probably know this, I gave him herpes. Last night.”
12.07.09 at 12:46 pm
eh. what ever you guys are pussies.
i see it a few ways, if the guy is garbage to you then why do you care if your best friend chooses to fuck garbage. the other way of seeing it is…….well what if they ended up being together a LOT long than you ever expected, what if a marriage or other bigger things come from the situation. you cant be a whining baby over shit all the time. also, why must you take it out on your best friend? thats some chicken head shit, the guy is also responsible.
get over yourself and realize one simple truth; “bros before hos”. Its true, you and your BFF just were not up to being that strong about not tripping over some dick.
12.07.09 at 12:58 pm
it like haved many sex iny our friend, because of bets friend, lol, peace!
12.07.09 at 1:02 pm
Whoever is commenting as this ^^^^^ weird Balkan know-it-all is ruling super fucking hard right now. Oh, and your (boy/best fucking) friends suck. Sorry.
12.07.09 at 1:42 pm
lesley is killing it with these last two posts!
12.07.09 at 2:13 pm
Hey Clayton.
We have a Bulgarian guy out here who really talks like that. He plays guitar like a motherfucker and he knows his music history…but you never know if he’s drunk or if he’s politely asking you for sex.
*
I agree on the BFF thing…that is definitely not how friends behave. A real friend maintains a hands-policy at all times. There are what…like, 30 million other guys she could be fucking? And she picks your ex. Dump The Bitch.
12.07.09 at 2:14 pm
knowing someone for 3 years =/= best friend.
12.07.09 at 3:14 pm
If, during your ignore them completely stage, you do run into them, do not act sad or hide in the corner. Be the life of the party and have fun, fun, fun! That will hurt them more than anything else (I’m assuming that all 3 of you are really young) even if it is fake. The impression that you are winning the breakup = you winning the breakup.
12.07.09 at 3:41 pm
Dont look at advertisements, its a vice.
12.07.09 at 4:35 pm
Go suck and fuck a bunch of guys your ex knows. Not only are you empowering yourself, you’ll also make him extremely jealous.
12.07.09 at 5:26 pm
Can people please fuck off on using the phrase “killing it?” It’s as fucked and ragged as the term “groovy.”
12.07.09 at 9:42 pm
Her ex-boyfriend is John Oates?
12.07.09 at 9:45 pm
is this going to be crossposted on Sassy Magazines’ blog?
12.07.09 at 10:03 pm
also, drink my fuck, you fucking shits.
12.07.09 at 10:04 pm
i say you tell that dude he has a little dick cause it’ll be in the back of his head for the rest of his life, make him feel sexually inadequate for ever and he’ll never have a good relationship
as for her you can either
a. punch her in the fuckin face but make sure that bitch knows u aren’t fighting over a guy- it’s because she’s a fuckin slut ..then ignore her
or
b. you can act like she’s still your friend and manipulate that bitch into becoming insecure.. she’ll always have it in the back of her mind that u two were together and will eventually become insecure all by herself b/c of all the shit she knows about y’alls relationship.. you can give her way too much info on ur past with him or current situation if he calls you still or that u know he still wants to fuck- it’ll kill her slowly.
12.07.09 at 11:52 pm
Everyone knows that thriving is the best revenge. Thing is, it, like confidence, is a magic trick –until it becomes real.
12.08.09 at 2:30 am
I can’t believe I had to Google ‘BFF’. I’m tired.
12.08.09 at 8:16 am
what ever happened to “it ain’t no fun if my homies can’t have none” ?
12.08.09 at 9:48 am
Just tell the artist formerly known as BFF that you went to the doctor,found out you have the HIV and she should get checked.
12.08.09 at 10:19 am
The worst thing is that your BFF probably knew all kinds of personal stuff about you that she’s now sharing with your douchebag ex-boyfriend.
HAHAHA
12.12.09 at 12:57 pm