In the UK they call fake blondes “aviation blondes” ’cause they’ve got a black box. We wanted to figure out who’s better, aviation blondes or redheads, so we asked photographer Merkely about it. The end result is exactly the same as putting Lindsey Lohan and Lady Ga Ga into a ring naked and showering them with fake rain – only metaphorical.
SBTVC: Fake blondes are like fat girls in disguise. They want to upgrade themselves to the level of Swedish construction. They want to be sexy and slutty, but they really just love to act.
Merkley: I don’t trust people who want to blend in. They are up to no good. Day Glo headgear works well for this too.
Redheads are supposed to bleed more than the average person, therefore they can act better for some reason. It makes you feel guilty when a redhead cries.
I was born a redhead. I never stop bleeding or crying. You don’t have to feel bad for me though — it doesn’t mean I’m not planning out your public embarrassments.
With aviation blondes, you get turned on when they cry.
No, I don’t, but I won’t judge you.
Reds look amazing underwater, like mermaids.
And it’s exciting when the sharks come due to the constant bleeding. Too bad I close my eyes when I go underwater, which is like once a decade.
The worst to argue with are fake blondes. It’s not even cute in an awkward way or boner material or anything, just dumb and boring and makes you want to call Noam Chomsky for a real argument about Jewish vagina or something.
On your next birthday I will try to arrange a meeting between you and Noam — everyone deserves a boner on their birthday, no matter how hard it is for you to get one. If it takes Noam, well then by gum, we’ll get you Noam. He’s a linguist. You’ll like him. We’ll put him in a red wig for you.
Fake slutty blondes look amazing only at the water’s surface, with just everything from the waist down submerged.
Are you some sort of argumentative swimming instructor? Serial drowner? Secret toilet cam installer who sees people underwater this much? We’ll take you and Noam snorkeling!
OK. Avaiation blondes are way better at gold digging. Fact.
I have no clue how hair color would help a person maneuver a shovel and pick. Honestly, I would think you’d be more into panning for gold with your underwater chicks fixation. You could argue about whether it’s gold dust or just sand.
Redheads’ units smell a little different than aviation blondes’, though don’t let that twist your melon too much because you could always hook up with a redhead in disguise as a blonde. Then you would get really confused.
Let’s be honest, you got this info from panty sniffing and your test group consisted of two roommates, both swimmers, one of whom was Jewish and looked like Noam Chomsky. I don’t know what we have learned about the difference between blondes and redheads here, but I think we all know a little too much about you.
Yes, OK — my mother was an Irish whore with red hair. My sister is an aviation blonde who looks like Kevin Bacon and is a great gold digger. I like to masturbate underwater and love Jewish vagina. Oh yeah, and my dad made me suck on his blue-vein pickle one day.
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If you’re going to run with something this inane, you might as well leave out the hacky interview, and simply post the photos. Oven girl gets my vote.
10.20.09 at 10:45 am
I found the frozen buoyant cow product container distracting in oven photo, and preferred the cat boxing one.
10.20.09 at 10:50 am
your writing is vapid.
10.20.09 at 11:22 am
overshare.
10.20.09 at 11:34 am
@LCC: Understood.
10.20.09 at 11:35 am
Who eats in the tub or on the toilet? Geez, get a bigger apartment, freaks.
PS, describing your SISTER as looking like Kevin Bacon is hardly a compliment.
10.20.09 at 11:50 am
glad cat boxer pic was included
10.20.09 at 11:55 am
Wait, what? Jews and ovens? I see how your minds work.
10.20.09 at 11:57 am
Who is the thick honey in the tub? More please.
10.20.09 at 1:12 pm
Wow, you guys are so New York. We’re over Merkely, and for good reason: she just keeps taking the same picture over and over and over and over…
10.20.09 at 1:28 pm
+1 Cuntegonde
10.20.09 at 1:29 pm
haha, “your writing is vapid” thats a cool put-down
10.20.09 at 1:36 pm
The blondes’ tits win.
10.20.09 at 1:57 pm
ugh, the photoshopping needs some work. or rather, the photographs need to work together better as one. some of the girls look so obviously comped in, it’s horrible.
10.20.09 at 2:13 pm
???
10.20.09 at 2:29 pm
Shut the yapping, leave us to the fapping.
10.20.09 at 4:44 pm
yeah i like the redhead with the melons.
10.20.09 at 5:13 pm
thick honey.
10.20.09 at 5:36 pm
Redhead in the tub wins.
Captions/Interview don’t.
10.20.09 at 6:00 pm
god this is shit
10.20.09 at 7:01 pm
chompsky honk
10.20.09 at 7:05 pm
Them tub titties are the truth.
10.20.09 at 7:20 pm
i really like these pictures.
10.20.09 at 7:51 pm
I am digging the fact that I own 3 of the 4 knives in the fourth pic. Plus I like my redheads a little tubby.
10.20.09 at 8:03 pm
yeah who is the tub girl? she is by far the hottest
10.20.09 at 8:16 pm
I like her strong fat girl legs and tits
10.20.09 at 8:17 pm
This neo-baroque pin-up style is really thumbing my asshole right now. One question though, how come girls like this aren’t hanging around my bedroom when I get home, flying through the air over my bed with flying cats and ice cream. Not crunk.
10.21.09 at 5:27 am
Gwen Stefani with 2 bras on at the same time while rolling a primo in the sales office?
10.21.09 at 6:53 am