I think it was during the Schnitzel craze of ‘01 that the word schadenfreude started showing up everywhere (zeitgeist was also popularized but I refuse to waste any time on that shitty word.) I found the word schadenfreude particularly useful, which isn’t all that surprising, I’ve been told that I’m like a young, female Don Rickles (I’m even bald and jowley!). But it’s true, I really do take pleasure from observing the misfortune of others. I also love mispronouncing German words.

Once you’re aware of it schadenfreude is everywhere, and it’s just a matter of opening the newspaper to get your fix. Someone could argue that the problem with schadenfreude is that sometimes you might feel a tinge of it coming on when you really shouldn’t. For example if you can find humor in a horrific car crash story because the person who died had a really stupid name like Charitee or Chauncey that’s not schadenfreude, that’s you being a dick. Other than that one minor flaw, I believe the Germanic word manufacturers were spot on.

I’m relating all this to you because a recent dose of schadenfreude was especially awesome. As I scanned the pages of the newspaper looking for my morning smile I noticed the following headline: Tough year brings BNL ‘closer together.’ I was chuffed (innit), I’d been enjoying that particular schadenfreude episode for over 6 months. Perhaps you remember it too. Back in July, on the eve of releasing their children’s album and launching into a world tour, Steven Page, the lead singer of the Ladies, got arrested for cocaine possession in Fayettevile, NY. I always hope for these kinds of moments, like when you see someone like Kevin Costner on Colbert acting weird, and you assume he’s on drugs. Don’t you cross your fingers and pray your hunch was right because then you’d get to read about it and feel vindicated? This rarely happens, or it does, but only to useless celebrities like Tatum O’Neal or Chandler from Friends (one grand exception is that rollerblade guy from Suddenly Susan who was a completely innocuous celebrity, but managed to have one of the most compelling E True Hollywood’s ever. Here’s a hilariously terrible account of his death)

What makes the BNL article particularly funny is that all their “misfortunes” are 100% unrelatable: multimillionaire pop singer gets busted for cocaine doesn’t face charges, the other guy in the band crashed his plane and survived. All I can see is a big, flashing sign that reads MEANWHILE, and a list of the bazillion more important things affecting everyone else back in shit-ball reality. But it doesn’t matter because I can still laugh my face off when I read quotations like: “I’ve seen him really improve as a human being over the last six months. He’s working hard on himself. It’s the whole rock-bottom thing or not even rock-bottom – just something that slaps you awake.” It’s good to be alive.

Hilarious moments in Schadenfreude


Lolo Ferrari’s giant tits

liza minelli on larry king

-sarah palin being interviewed by katie couric

-america’s funniest home videos

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