Like a lot of people, I really fucking dug this week’s buzz story about how Bill Clinton swooped into North Korea and saved Euna Lee and Laura Ling, two girls freaking journalists (that’s one of the lessons we learned, right?) who got busted sneaking into the country. The New York Post had headline fun, and all our buddies enjoyed the talk about how Clinton hasn’t lost his “pimp game” and this and that. I mean, what American (beyond Daniel Boyd, that fucking troublemaker) wasn’t proud to be one as we watched a former presidential team swing into action like a couple of superheroes?

KHAGESH “SWAMI” KUMAR, 53, WOODHAVEN, QUEENS

Street Carnage: You said, “The pious people should avoid the evil.”

Swami: Pious people, stay away from the evil. If the evil is not suddenly living there, if they are not following the evil, it will part from them.

OK.

The pious will have their own feeling from inside. If the person is bothersome or not in my control, they will not try to control you.

Uh-huh.

And they will try to control anybody.

Foreign countries in general, or just North Korea?

Anybody. Countries will try to control people anywhere they go. It means their own life. They stay away from others’ problems. Only the problem pertaining to them, if the evil is bothering them.

That makes sense.

Like you—I feel that you are bothering me, I will part from you. But you are nice. You approach me in a little, nice way.

Mhm.

So I give you answers.

I appreciate that.

OK. You must reach your mind, you must change your intentions. There is evil and there are people like that who are like animals. You feel it when they come close to you. You never know when that animal will attack. So the pious and holy people—

—Yeah.

—they hold a kind of intuition, like something whispering to them. Something that enters into their body. So they depart from that place, and evil leaves us alone. They stay away and they never talk, change routes, direction. If you were walking on this side—

—Uh-huh.

—if they even want to include himself that comes closer and closer, and he wants to change that evil or any kind of Satanity, he will try to teach me. He will say, “Here are the guidelines to that.” If the notizant is there, there’s nobody. Or he doesn’t want to change himself. Like Jesus. What Jesus say? If you feel like, follow me my ways to the God. It can lead to the Almighty as the leader to God. That’s what Jesus say.

Are you Christian?

I’m Hindu.

You’re Hindu.

I’m Hindu. But few the Jesus-followers they follow, they believe. But some of them have departed from him and they went to the other places. But Jesus allowed them. “You can go when you feel. I’m too old. You can join with me the ways to reach the God, the heavenly lights. Peace, holy thing, and the like. Then they come back to me and I am ready to accept you.” Then after, his rest of the followers, they joined him. They went to the different countries, they went to the other places—those who are marked, they became the soldiers and they protected him. They never wanted to part from Jesus. So Jesus sustained 12 types of followers and they all believed, and they spread all over the world. Different countries. So like the holy and pious people, the journalists go to the different countries.

OK. You’re saying if these journalists went to North Korea with good intentions—

—Good intentions, bad intentions, and better people—they are cunning people.

Conning people?

Cunning people, but you can’t make out. OK? Sometimes pious people makes mistakes, too. Like talking to you, I feel like you are a gold and nice personality, and I am answering.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

Person’s nature—let’s read this—sometimes cunning. The person will hide that they will never let the person know about his cunning attention and his cunning motive. That’s why most of the pious and holy people, they try to keep them out. So far they make out if they will make out if the person is good or not.

Do you think, um—

They won’t speak or be obedient while talking with the people, or discussing with the people, visiting me from places, they can make out about the people.

Do you think when Bill Clinton went to speak with Kim Jong-il he had the same sort of way of thinking that you’re—

—I don’t know, I don’t know. I have to read it, I have to know about the people. Read his book or hear his stories. Whatever how or what his claim is.

Kim Jong-il?

Om.

Do you think another country’s laws should apply to a visitor?

Excuse me. This car? [points down road] I don’t know but something entering me. Black car. You see that black car? OK, I don’t know what he has.

Did he throw something at you?

I don’t know what happened, what that car has or who is driving that car. But that car passed through this and came and something I felt like entering [gestures at knee] my body.

Oh, really?

That, I’m pious or I’m holy or nothing I’m fretting about anyone.

Do you think that car was carrying a bad vibe?

The Jeep or that black color wrinkle, which passed, which goes from here. There is something wrong. Either I am wrong or I am bad for him, he has some kind of whatever it is. Maybe wild animal or wild kid or wild-natured person. Maybe he don’t like you. He’s describing you. So, like that, you don’t like me. Right? You don’t like me.

You don’t think I like you?

It’s not like that. This—it’s an example. You don’t like me and I’m sitting right here. OK, you are passing by here. There’s a kind of human psychologic: “This stupid person, this bum.”

So do you think Clinton jeopardized future diplomacy with North Korea?

So they just kind of really thought. I never did anything wrong to you, I’m quiet. OK. So let me be and not come send passes through any kind of poly from inner heart that speaks out. Everybody has those kinds of sense or maybe an outer-storyian gadget [wha?] everybody doesn’t have. But models will become pious-sake and Godibility. The only way of living, they’re not dis-serving anybody. You can get their senses slowly and ready. Being waiting their own and finding your own self. You can get all of their selves. So let evil and let makes chivalry scare it far. The wise person won’t speak. Sometimes a questionnaire of unnecessary questions. Unnecessary askings: certain personal, proposal life or indecent kind of subject that bothers someone. “I don’t know about those things. Leave me alone.”

Mhm.

Right? In this country, the people say, “Leave me alone. Get the fuck out of here.”

Yeah.

Means: you don’t like the person’s behavior. For you, the other person is like an evil, or devil. But that’s your tongue. Sometimes a wise person is like to tell you something good advice, but that good advice is not good for you. That’s what you feel is evil form.

Fair enough.

Don’t. You can’t kill a person. Don’t do that. Oh, no, leave me alone.

I think that’s great.

Like in other countries, your parents, your teachers, your girlfriend, your brother or sister—in society. Sometimes you can only tell who is what kind of pain. How he is passed the day. Or, “Oh, can you speak more, please?” But the common people, the pious and honest people are always difficult to find out. You cannot speak everything with everybody. That’s why they go and ask if they can use other places to listen to people and gather the knowledge together for their own thing.

You know what? That’s what I’m trying to do.

Well, everybody loves slowly and everybody has to go to the God. There is one hand of life. Maybe two years or after 20 years or the next moment. The more fast the people learn they become holy. Because when you came in this earth, nothing was in your body. Only the life: breathing, and natural, innocent life. Somebody smiles, somebody doesn’t smile, but you are not cunning, and you do not have any kind of jealousy. So everything you gather from here, slowly and gradually will grow—two years, five years, ten years, 15 years, 20 years. When you became, you started learning so many: “Oh, I like red color, I like baseball, he is coming, I want to cheat him, I want to break him, or I don’t want to give him.” Jealousy, selfishness. “Oh, he has a nice car, he is not giving, he will continue owning his car.” That is jealousy. Everything people gather from the society, slowly and gradually. So when you are going to die, let people live a long and happy life. To be happy, healthy, and along. They have to give with all those evils. To give more evils and evil things in your body bounce around, you are grown like that. Your behavior will be like that.

Do you think in 1994 when then-President Bill Clinton reached out to the Singaporean government and asked them to spare Michael Fay his four canings for vandalizing luxury vehicles and stealing road signs—

That’s no good. Why he do that?

Michael Fey is just kind of an asshole.

That’s no good.

My question, then, is do you think 12 years of hard labor would have been—

—With any illegal activity, punishment. They get punished. They are locked, deported, and they are not allowed to enter the country and they have to pay the penalty. Anybody’s car, anybody’s thing you cannot smack it, smash it, dump it. You need permit to demolish it. This car? You cannot break it. You need word from the department, or owner. The motor department say you cannot roll the car. Give it to the city and let them sell it. The manufacturers, they’ll buy it. It’s crazy. It’s what they do.

I agree. A person can smash his own car, but—

—Resister and cyclone. Cyclone and resister. You cannot help. That is it. Disaster. Outbreak. Cyclones. That’s all. You are sitting here and the tree falls, that car gets smashed.

A guy was walking in Central Park last week when a tree fell on him.

OK, when you can’t help, then secondary remedy is when there is second life, right? Then rescue persons start. Rescue a new life. All right? The same thing with the mankind. You are surrounded by evils, devils, eh? So you are kind of a scared person, crossed with many rotten kinds of your life is there. So if you want to start new life, like a kind of cyclone-kind of disasters, is mastered with your holy life. Piously, normal, human life. Like you became a criminal and you started killing somebody, you started hitting somebody, you started stealing somebody. Right? Well, what kind of different kind of cyclones, different kinds of earthquakes in your life—you want to pull it together, holy and pious? OK, start new life. OK, then same after the cyclone and then disaster. Mankind want to start their ownlife for new life. So you are to clean up the pain. You are to go to the department and have to repay all the cars. People have to join hand-to-hand. Everybody gets freed. Everybody gets food to get out from that evil-y disaster and what they impact or what they left behind you.

OK.

And clean out. Like that before you got to go—well, I don’t say you got to go alone—but let it be sured, for after death you—everybody—goes to the Grandfatherly Man. If you want to reach heaven and God, the heavenly God, you have to clean your life. And how you clean—the more and more you clean yourself—the more and more you become pious. Gita is Karma, and Qur’an follows Gita. And Jesus’ idea in bibles was repent is remedy of your sin. So you have to repent on that thing, and you have to think about all your deeds. So each moment, it is one sloker and the other is ita ita ita and that is in Gita. Each moment is new birth and new life.

Mhm.

The day or the moment you have, you will have taught. So you save yourself from punishment or the fruits from that evil-y act. OK, you pass the moment, you never did anything bad, you are getting go-through. If you had stayed away, you don’t help, you repent. So repent is punishment. If I mash up glass on this place, somebody will catch neck of me and ask me to sweep. To clean the place. Or, he give you the memo, and you will have to clear the pennant. So like that Singapore guy, the disaster guy, or whatever, that Clinton said he cannot go straight away, he cannot mess up with those cars, no. They are to go with the guidelines, the norms of that place. That Singapore guy, I don’t know why he did what he did you will have to call why he did it.

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