Meet my very good friend Vivian. She’s got blue eyes, big lips, and the biggest, most beauteous booty. Sometimes she lets me take pictures of her without clothes on. After I convinced her that going topless online was no big deal, she agreed to let me publish some racy photos for the Internet world to bust a nut to. Enjoy!
Like what you see? Any prospective suitors want to know more about this femme fatale? Here is a recent conversation I had with her:
VIVIAN: Ricky and I aren’t friends anymore.
SBTVC: Why? What happened? You guys were so tight.
Well, ever since we started sleeping together, I can only think of him as my piece and nothing else. He’s either my friend or a booty call; I can’t do both.
But at least pick one.
I know! That’s why he’s my stash now.
Nice. So what happened to your vow of celibacy? Did you give that up or do you restart it every time you hook up?
Nah I gave up on that.
You’ve got all the time in the world to be celibate anyway — like when you turn 60.
Yeah, you’re right. I’ll save the soul searching for when my pussy gets dry.
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Classy.
05.24.10 at 12:17 pm
still waiting for the ‘provocative photos’
05.24.10 at 12:20 pm
BOY HOWDY IS THAT BUTT INCREDIBLE
05.24.10 at 12:33 pm
she has a great ass, so I photographed her topless? why?
and where is her ass here?? I’m sorry, this is terrible
05.24.10 at 12:40 pm
her face….. WHY?!
05.24.10 at 1:20 pm
Why would you do that to your friend? You know what happens when people post shit like this here. Half of the comments will rip her apart!
05.24.10 at 1:27 pm
Keep hittin doze carbs and you won’t be waitin tuh turn 60 fo’ dat pooty tang tuh drah on up.
05.24.10 at 1:31 pm
what’s her number?
05.24.10 at 1:35 pm
No, this is… just no. I would run screaming in the dark away from this thing.
05.24.10 at 1:37 pm
gross with a capital gross.
05.24.10 at 1:43 pm
sorry, i know that was harsh. but fuck, you sold it pretty hard. and i guess i felt like my rejection had to be equally full of effort.
she’s probably alright in person. but the internet is not the place to shop yourself around. especially if you’re doubting yourself.
05.24.10 at 1:44 pm
yeaaa, keep the mask on.
05.24.10 at 1:47 pm
stupid poses, stupid make up, stupid face, stupid clothes, stupid body, stupid name
05.24.10 at 1:49 pm
Dead End
05.24.10 at 1:52 pm
“Ricky” is the coolest name EVAR.
05.24.10 at 1:53 pm
I’d be happy to be her stash. Bangin body and cute face. The commentors get off on being bitchy is all, I’d forego the chance to punch any of them in the face no-strings-attached to be with this young lady.
05.24.10 at 2:12 pm
Dat ass
05.24.10 at 2:20 pm
she’s cool, but these pics are the opposite of sexy. there’s no topless ones in here either. this is the internet. tits or gtfo
05.24.10 at 2:29 pm
stay curly
05.24.10 at 2:30 pm
that sucked.
05.24.10 at 3:16 pm
The pics are bad but she’s obviously built for speed. Know yourself.
05.24.10 at 3:29 pm
There is a girl for whom I would be drug naked through a field of broken glass and dipped in a vat of rubbing alcohol thereafter if only for a chance to listen to her fart through a walkie talkie. This is not that girl.
05.24.10 at 3:34 pm
Just read the comments. You guys are a bunch of fucking dicks that need your asses kicked in. Despite the horrible pics you can see that she’s got lusty eyes, sensual mouth, great back and shoulders, ASS, a handful of tits (what more do you need?), and a nice thick pair of legs. Yes, the pics are cheesy and she made a huge mistake in allowing them to be taken, but still…step off!
05.24.10 at 3:36 pm
you can’t see her ass at all that’s the problem. I stand by my previous ass-esment
05.24.10 at 3:43 pm
c’mon… this is a solid 7. you’d all hit it, stop bitchin.
05.24.10 at 3:45 pm
cute girl, bad lighting.
05.24.10 at 4:12 pm
She’s fucking hot!
05.24.10 at 4:14 pm
Looks about 3 foot 5. Not feeling it. What an anti-climax. Gohhh
05.24.10 at 4:28 pm
meh
05.24.10 at 4:32 pm
vane$$a’s right.
05.24.10 at 4:45 pm
not that hot. nice ass tho.
05.24.10 at 4:47 pm
Yeah, I don’t know why you would convince your friend to do this. And the fact that you’re so clearly just performing for men (propagating the male gaze and shit) is kind of gross.
05.24.10 at 4:51 pm
a resounding “meh”
05.24.10 at 5:16 pm
Cute girl. Terrible “photos”.
05.24.10 at 5:50 pm
Whoa! She’s like all, “He’s my stash” and I’m like all, “Whoa, that chick is like all like a dude and stuff with guys!” Like, look out for this trash bag.
05.24.10 at 7:42 pm
There is no finer formation in nature than well shaped female homo sapien buttocks.
05.24.10 at 8:03 pm
# huh Says:
Yeah, I don’t know why you would convince your friend to do this. And the fact that you’re so clearly just performing for men (propagating the male gaze and shit) is kind of gross.
05.24.10 at 4:51 pm
lol, this isn’t jezebel, honey. you actually read any of the shit that gets posted here on a regular basis?
05.24.10 at 8:27 pm
Y’all deleted my comments saying that she was gross?
You’re asking for it by posting this stuff up. Posts not showing glowering hipster criticism of a 6.5 (Maybe a 7 at very best if you’re into this kind of girl) flouncing around trying to look hot (especially the Bladerunner knockoff makeup) is like not making fun of Jen for her stupid motorcycle fetish.
05.24.10 at 8:37 pm
she is beautiful, you could shoot her better tho. look through the eyes of a woman when you shoot. mens eyes have been done to death.
05.24.10 at 8:39 pm
vivian sucks and your photos look like shit
05.24.10 at 11:18 pm
gross
05.24.10 at 11:20 pm
MMEEHH
05.25.10 at 1:40 am
fuck amateur photographers. you’re not doing shit worth anything in today’s society. this is basically doing a degree in dance for the people who even lack grace
05.25.10 at 4:09 am
Looks like a flygirl from In Living Color.
05.25.10 at 6:54 am
14 year olds are dumb. I’m talking about the commenters, not the girl.
She’s pretty. Bad photos [whoever wrote "photos" is a dumb fuck. Quotes denote that whatever is being referred to is not actually what it's being called, and these are indeed PHOTOS dumb fuck!]
Vanessa is right.
05.25.10 at 8:05 am
@Vivian
Who needs enemies when you have friends like Val?
05.25.10 at 11:30 am
I would drive that ass to Minnessota. Whoever says different is just mad because she doesn’t have a cock. Photos suck-take some pointers from that creepy bastard at Vib.
05.25.10 at 3:16 pm
Go sniff some more glue
05.25.10 at 8:00 pm
Screams Photo 1. Learn lighting.
Pretty girl though.
05.25.10 at 8:35 pm
I would’ve been disappointed in this shoot when I was 9, let alone now
05.25.10 at 10:48 pm
dog face
05.26.10 at 7:57 am
put yourself out there as a piece of meat, get treated like one.
05.26.10 at 11:21 am
Reading all the comments on this makes me realize the percentage of female commenters are probs higher than I originally presumed. Fat, internet trolling, dry spell havin, haterade chugging, femme nazis who also read Jezebel and would rather jerk off to Yolandi Vi$$er cuz she sports a next level haircut.
Hatin cuntzzzz the girl is hot on some desktop wallpaper jerk-off material shit.
But I am also guilty of cumming at the thought of smashin Vi$$erspu$$$y.
05.27.10 at 8:05 am