If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this is a 100,000 word essay on how I spent my summer vacation with the kids of Carnage.
With photography taken from the cameras of:

Arv, Ksenia, and me.

I hung out with Mr. TV Carnage a lot and by “hung out” I mean stared at the computer at TVC Central a lot.

That’s where I met Pinky’s assistant, Ksenia.

She liked to take her clothes off in front of me so we became fast friends.

LICK MY PIZZA!

NO TITS GTFO! <3 KKK

We had some butt secks on the beach.

“I love having sex, but I’d rather get some head.”

Hugs for Arv when he gets tackled by two girls.

I think Arv lost this fight because this sequence shows him going down hard. However, in the end he has a girl sitting on his face and how much of a loser could that make him compared to you? You’re staring at the internet right now.

All that action gets to be too much and nap time ensues … followed by the occasional head stomp.

I woke up on the living room floor the next morning, sat on the couch, then this girl appeared with a Corona asking me if I wanted a beer. Time? 8:36 AM.

On alcohol fueled nights, sometimes you just have to ride the zebra.

Aileen fell on some dirty street in the LES.

Hey Awesome, how did you get a free skate deck and lose it? Oh, right — you were waaasteeed!

On the dance floor, chasing vodka with Redbull and my tears while Ksenia vomits in her bag.

Peter knows how to party and rock the shirt covered in beer look.

He’s still partying!

Ksenia and I double fist it on my 22nd happy barf-day.

Hi Trace!

Hi boss Beckles! He tried riding the bull and ended up on the floor.

Ain’t that the truth.

I tried riding the Arv and ended up on the floor.

He really ripped that off a building and just ran away with it. How patriotic!

Mornings when you try to leave an apartment you have no recollection of getting to the night before are the best because sometimes you run into sights like this.

SUMMERTIME BEACH FUN! I found a balloon and made a baby.

He looks just like his father!

I’m such a good mommy.

But then I got too intoxicated and sent my farewell text message.

2 AM: We were sitting on my stoop and this stray kitten was drawn to Arv’s cigarette smoke and manly pheromones.

I still get mad play.

My game is impeccable and my limbs can get flexible.

Hi KRS-ONE!

Hi Trace the Dog and Bunny friend!

Best part of summer was all the time I spent with these hooligans …

… bonding over street peeing and sharing morning walks of shame.

So, what did you do this summer?
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i jerked off more than i ever have before this summer.
09.10.09 at 11:36 am
I spent it not having people smoke in my apartment because I enjoy my belongings not smelling like an ashtray.
09.10.09 at 11:40 am
wow, see you guys in AA in a couple of years, hopefully.
09.10.09 at 11:47 am
i don’t even remember.
09.10.09 at 11:54 am
I believe I spent the half of it recovering from an automobile accident, the other half wasted and trying to make it to work on time. Lucky for me I still have six more months of summer left.
09.10.09 at 12:00 pm
Congrats, you’re in your early 20s, and doing the same thing everyone else did. Whooooopie.
p.s. nice new fixed gear bike, you fucking douche
09.10.09 at 12:03 pm
I’d hate to see Arv’s back in about 10 years! Yikes
09.10.09 at 12:03 pm
Judging by recent posts, this site has pretty much turned into a Flickr account for people HIGHLY PLEASED WITH THEMSELVES.
09.10.09 at 12:03 pm
Everybody has a crush on Arv
09.10.09 at 12:11 pm
you guys party like 16 year olds…. im embarrassed for you.
09.10.09 at 12:16 pm
I spent my summer boasting about my affiliation with people i admire a little too much.
09.10.09 at 12:25 pm
cool dude
09.10.09 at 12:28 pm
total flickr page for the b team… you guys drink beer and go to parties? that’s fucking crazed!
09.10.09 at 12:31 pm
Actually I liked this. I have ADD pretty bad so anytime someone posts a lot of pics I start to drool and it feels like someone is licking the crack of my brain. Any one else get that feeling?
09.10.09 at 12:33 pm
i was busy trying to make sure i had still had a home to live in. like an adult might
09.10.09 at 12:34 pm
Whether they are attractive or unattractive (like the ones pictured above) women will consistently make “funny faces” for the camera. They truly believe it is funny.
09.10.09 at 12:35 pm
The fact that you guys hang out with Aileen fucking Awesome makes you all retarded beyond belief. Fail.
09.10.09 at 12:42 pm
Post after post of pictures of close friends hanging out is about as fun as a coffee table book of inside jokes. Ok, you guys are young or attractive or whatever, can we move on to some funny shit now please?
09.10.09 at 12:44 pm
I liked this post. But damn, Aileen Awesome grosses me out more every time I see here. That picture of her falling down on the dirty-ass street was rank.
09.10.09 at 12:52 pm
“Everybody has a crush on Arv”
09.10.09 at 12:53 pm
Arv: Foppish Paki Cunt.
09.10.09 at 1:00 pm
I would like to think this is a spoof of facebook profiles but my brain tells me it is not.
09.10.09 at 1:06 pm
Val must be sort of smart, if only because she surrounds herself with ugly girls and looks somewhat hot for that.
Everyone looks so dirty, all the time.
09.10.09 at 1:15 pm
L O L
09.10.09 at 1:23 pm
Blognig is crosseyed.
09.10.09 at 1:32 pm
I still don’t understand why anyone hangs out with or fucks asians. Have you seen what those fuckers eat? Besides they all look like toads or fish to me. Did I mention they have no soul and for everyone of them that you see here they have 3 more copies in China waiting to replace them.
09.10.09 at 1:39 pm
I’d rather see a photo essay on nothing but that girl who’s drinking beer at 8:36 in the morning. I must agree with many of the others, as this was one gratuitous post. Who’s summer did not look like this when a camera was pulled out?
09.10.09 at 1:53 pm
street boners and facebook carnage
09.10.09 at 2:03 pm
i hit my best friend with a golf cart while we were both on acid, then we made a 100 foot long booze (cheap red wine, miller and jameson) covered slipnslide.
09.10.09 at 2:19 pm
you know, i don’t post on here to make the SBTVC Cheerleading Squad, but it seems like everyone else is a hater. I feel like we’re a year and a half past “if you don’t like it leave” or did yall just discover this site?
rock on bitches.. good post
09.10.09 at 2:23 pm
She might act like a seventh grader from the Tampa… But man she got a juicy FAT ASSS (Note: 3 s’s)
09.10.09 at 2:33 pm
@Polly:
Yeah, totally we’re not allowed to dislike the slow and continual slide into depravity this site has gone through, all the way down to sub d-list writers who are more suited to sticking to their fucking Xanga account than posting on a site that is supposed to be funny. Garbage like this makes Johnny Makeup posts almost palatable.
I’m not expecting much, but I’ll take a 2nd rate Gavin knockoff writing about how to score chicks, over someone who writes about their “CHANCH”, the worst wasted pushups ever done (Ever notice people who call themselves “AWESOME” or some superlative adjective are usually boring failures?), or flickr updates? LOOK OUT FOLKS *HONK* *HONK* I’M ON THE COBRA SNAKES!!
It makes me sad.
PS: I raced bikes (SWEET FIXIES INCLUDED), and went to the beach, and drank a lot at hoity toity bars.
09.10.09 at 3:15 pm
doesn’t arv have a gf not in any of these pics? she must be super chill. the fact that i even care makes me feel really cool!
09.10.09 at 3:18 pm
Valerie sucks as per usual.
Polly just discovered this site.
End of.
09.10.09 at 3:34 pm
I saw this same scene when I was a 22 year old at Bemidji State University. Except the Pakis were Native Americans; and you didn’t want to be anywhere near one or you’d “get cut.”
ps: Gavin, is this what that NYC-is-the-center-of-the-universe type shit you were talking about looks like?
09.10.09 at 3:37 pm
shallow. very shalow
09.10.09 at 4:05 pm
why is SC becoming a personal blog for college kids? we want news, pop culture and o-ed. Blognigger is the only adult writer left on this site. David Cross, Jim Goad, Lesley… the grown ups who actually had something to say are gone. Gavin bring back the depth and funny stuff. These kids should just be fillerspace and not write about themselves. It’s kind of boring, no offense.
09.10.09 at 4:37 pm
I had fun, but I was too busy doing so to take pictures.
09.10.09 at 4:43 pm
Give me a fucking break, man.
09.10.09 at 4:55 pm
who fuckin cares?
09.10.09 at 5:08 pm
wow, see you guys in American Apparel in a couple of days, hopefully
09.10.09 at 5:45 pm
Fucking leave her alone you uptight bunch of pricks. Chances are you didn’t actually have as much fun as her and have nothing to show for your summer. Congratulations, you’re shooting someone down for having fun and wanting to share her memories, you just turned in to your parents.
09.10.09 at 6:29 pm
look at me! i’ve got a fisheye Holga and i’m getting drunk because i’m 22, unemployed and live with 30 people in a dank basement. we all wear glasses we don’t need and fall down a lot.
you are not special. everyone has 45 albums in their closet of the same shit.
wait a minute, nobody prints pictures anymore. you just post them on websites that are quickly becoming irrelevant. i hope Gavin invested wisely.
09.10.09 at 6:33 pm
i love how people come on here just to pay out the posts… its like going to a concert just to boo them off stage or buying a magazine you dont like… YOU ARE the readership… this, what´s happening now, the nature of these comments, this IS sbtvc.
some of you have no publishing sense whatsoever. like EVERY post has to be a Dyske=esque insight. niggah puhleeeese!
09.10.09 at 8:00 pm
Me and my roommates got wasted and had a headbutting contest. My door has a head sized hole in it, and my tongue has teeth sized holes in it.
09.10.09 at 8:45 pm
Blognigger can’t ride a bull for shit. Bullshit. I lol’d myself!
09.10.09 at 8:51 pm
Dear Street Carnage,
Can you please do us all a huge favor and keep doing whatever it is that you’re doing? Because I like it.
Regards,
Bj.
btw. The website is called ‘Street Carnage’ – which is pretty much exactly whats in the photos.
Plus as opposed to other sites which shall remain nameless, these guys just look like a bunch of fucked up wastoids who look like they’d be a lot of fun to hang out with.
I dont see the posing and pretension here sorry, just looks kind of fucked up and good. Though I admit they’re walking a fine line with this shit.
09.10.09 at 9:11 pm
Also this guy nailed it, hahaaaaaaaaaaaa
“Sam Says:
Fucking leave her alone you uptight bunch of pricks. Chances are you didn’t actually have as much fun as her and have nothing to show for your summer. Congratulations, you’re shooting someone down for having fun and wanting to share her memories, you just turned in to your parents.”
This post reminds me of this song:
rock star lifestyle might dont make it
livin life high errday click wasted
sippin on purple stuff rollin up stankky
wake up in the morning 10 clock drankin
party party party lets all get wasted
shake it fa me baby girl do it butt naked
im so wasted she so wasted tell da bartender send me 20 more cases
geekin like whitney geekin like britney gucci no hipi but its on like jimy x pill poppers geeked up krazy whole click rollin everyone wasted purple codine sprite pink dont waste it mix it grandma drink it then taste it now grandma sippin surup leanin wasted walkin round fucked up twistin her fingaz home gurl slipped up drunked down wasted now she back stage an she trynna get famous hit me up the drinky drinky gucci mane shake club night damn right gucci mane wasted
rock star lifestyle might dont make livin life high erday click wasted sippin on purple stuff rollin up stankky wake up in the morning 10 clock drankin, party party party lets all get wasted shake it fa me baby girl do it butt naked im so wasted she so wasted tell da bartender send me 20 more cases
i dont wear tight jeans like da white boys
but i do get wasted lyk da white boys
now im lookin 4 a bitch to succ dis almond joy
said she gotta stop succin cuz ha jaws sore
gotta bitch on da couch, bitch on da floor,
lil partner just popped another one now he rollin more
was on 3 pills now he on 4
dont kno why but dat remy turn me 2 a whore
walked in da club pocket full of big faces
got dat 40 on my waist and its off safety
bout 40 goons wit me and we all wasted
only remy straight tonight dawg no chasing
rock star lifestyle might dont make livin life high erday click wasted sippin on purple stuff rollin up stankky wake up in the morning 10 clock drankin, party party party lets all get wasted shake it fa me baby girl do it but naked im so wasted she so wasted tell da bartender send me 20 more cases
whole click faded
we geeked up crazy
big boy bracelets
we white boy wasted
no shirts fuck it
unless ya arms are tatted
we slappin georgia disgusted
the liquor keeps us wasted
285 east side me and plies wasted
wasted 7 big booty broads chasing
spring bling 50 thousand white girls shaking
some dancing naked but everyones wasted
magic city monday ball players wasted
dis one 4 ya uncle drinkin thunderbird wasted
12 pack wasted
i need more cases
and gucci not a racist
all my diamonds caucasians
09.10.09 at 9:16 pm
This summer? oh I cut your head off and took like a zillion pics of me and my bffs jizzing on it!
09.10.09 at 9:28 pm
Keep smoking.
09.10.09 at 9:53 pm
p.s. you lack charisma in spades.
09.10.09 at 9:55 pm
B.J. @ 9:11 p.m.
Really? THIS is Street Carnage? Really? I mean, really??!! Drunks girls, obnoxiously falling over and taking pictures of themselves whilst making ‘funny’ faces?? Really?
09.10.09 at 10:10 pm
Lovely photog. How predictable. How kitsch.
09.10.09 at 10:59 pm
Fuck i hate it when people on the internet go “really??! really???!!! i mean REALLY????!?!?!?!:$(%&#&@&*() like what the fuuuuuuuuuuck man no i mean not really. like wow homo you’re really (i mean really) cutting me down with that razor sharp sarcasm you’ve got there
i mean really
i mean really
i mean FUCK you sound lame
09.10.09 at 11:58 pm
yes i mean really.
& heres the link to my favorite getfuckedup summer jam:
http://thefader.cachefly.net/gucci-wasted.mp3
09.11.09 at 12:54 am
Troy Polamalu is fuckin awesome… I bet he had a super damn fun summer hanging out with god and turtles!!!
09.11.09 at 1:14 am
cool story, bro!
09.11.09 at 1:21 am
best LJ entry EVER!
09.11.09 at 5:02 am
No one’s name is really Ksenia. But it looks like you guys had a great time, so that’s probably moot.
09.11.09 at 8:04 am
Beckles isn’t Blognigger, is he? That would suck.
09.11.09 at 10:32 am
“Fuck i hate it when people on the internet go “really??! really???!!! i mean REALLY????!?!?!?!:$(%&#&@&*() like what the fuuuuuuuuuuck man no i mean not really. like wow homo you’re really (i mean really) cutting me down with that razor sharp sarcasm you’ve got there
i mean really
i mean really
i mean FUCK you sound lame”
hahahahahahahaha
09.11.09 at 11:06 am
I went to the Yukon.
09.11.09 at 11:13 am
must have been too drunk to tell the diff between this site and facebook. hopefully she’ll correct the mistake soon because then she can get a headrush everytime someone “likes” one of her fun summer pics
09.11.09 at 12:25 pm
Dude, your face did get pretty fucked up (derrick). I never got to see it, got any more photos? Post before 5.30pm.
LOVENORM
09.12.09 at 5:29 am
“”"Fuck i hate it when people on the internet go “really??! really???!!! i mean REALLY????!?!?!?!:$(%&#&@&*() like what the fuuuuuuuuuuck man no i mean not really. like wow homo you’re really (i mean really) cutting me down with that razor sharp sarcasm you’ve got there”"”"
Nor sure what’s more lame. Saying the word really OR SPENDING TEN MINUTES TYPING THE LYRICS TO A SONG IN A BLOG POST.
At least you spelled it with proper ebonics:
she gotta stop succin cuz ha jaws sore
gotta bitch on da couch, bitch on da floor,
lil partner just popped another one now he rollin more
HAHAHAHA you FAIL!
09.13.09 at 8:57 am
Apparently I’m not cool enough to party like that, yo.
09.13.09 at 6:33 pm
that was boring.. the worst part is when you say Arv is lucky cos he has a girl sitting on his face and what are we doing we’re looking at the internet. uhhh kaaay.. yeah I’ve had girls sit on my face before and it’s so great. I’ve also gone to p making fun of us for looking at the internet when you work on the website in question has to be the most toothless bitesless gummy burn of all time. and when the girls in question look like that I’m happy my face is girl like that free. sorry, nice twitter snaps or whatever but this shit is gayer than kanye times pink + gaga
09.14.09 at 4:16 pm
this isnt facebook. i just wasted my time.
at least the comments made me laugh! hahhhaaaaaahhaaha
09.14.09 at 10:48 pm
“this shit is gayer than kanye times pink + gaga”
nice
09.15.09 at 12:10 am