When I was recently in Austin Texas I couldn’t shake a certain feeling I was having. Despite the bucolic nature of the area I was staying in and the polite citizenry I was acutely aware of a sinister presence. It was overwhelming yet it also was a smidgen comforting like your favorite aunt hugging you while wearing her favorite perfume that always kick started your gag reflex.
Then I looked up and I realized what it was. Austin was constantly threatening to tow your car! Weird. No wait. I wasn’t driving and why the fuck would that feel overwhelming or sinister? Ohh wait again. It was because every tow-away zone sign looked exactly like Charley Manson’s eyes. Yes, exactly like his eyes. If you don’t believe me then take a gander for yourself. The proof is in the blood pudding. There is no way this is an accident. Designers get board, especially when they have government contracts. especially when they can sneak one in. It’s like in sixth grade when Kimon and I farted in our teachers coffee cup and gleefully watched her drink from it five minutes later. We squeezed one in.
This sign was somebody’s “fart in a coffee cup”
The LIE album cover.
The LIE-away zone.
Leave a Reply
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
STREET BONER 1127
Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.
Bad Behavior has blocked 4391 access attempts in the last 7 days.
Pinky, your hallucinations remind me of another Austin resident, one Charles Whitman, who in 1966 shot 14 people to death from a tower at University of Texas. I urge you to seek help before the Austin P.D. take you out like they did Whitman.
02.05.10 at 10:29 am
Its all about the reflection in the glass right I see it, smart! No Way! Holy fuck!
02.05.10 at 10:37 am
bored not board
02.05.10 at 11:10 am
I want to kill now. Do I have to go to sweatsac Texas or can I do it long distance?
02.05.10 at 11:39 am
yesssssssssssssss.
02.05.10 at 12:02 pm
Hahahaha… though i get the same feeling looking at the “A million in the morning” cup reflection.
02.05.10 at 12:20 pm
This was a Rise Records sticker about 300 Years ago, in 1992. Excellent catch, slowpoke.
02.05.10 at 12:47 pm
I truly believe, with a little help from Derrick’s friends, that this thread has the potential to reach a dozen comments by late Sunday evening.
02.05.10 at 2:04 pm
I always thought they should give Chas a paint brush, some oils and a canvas and ask him to “let your inner beauty shine through”.
02.05.10 at 2:36 pm
Charles manson raped some lady and she put the baby up for adoption and like 20 years after he went looking for his real mom to get answers and stuff and she kept blowing him off until she got really annoyed and told him that his old man was Charles manson,he got blood tests and everything.
I heard that on the radio.
02.05.10 at 3:40 pm
Me too. It’s true.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1230439/Charles-Mansons-long-lost-son-Matthew-Roberts-tells-story-Its-like-finding-Adolf-Hitler-father.html
02.05.10 at 5:26 pm
good one. never noticed early manson has a vincent gallo/j. depp thing going on.
this dude probably just slayed the pussy back in his day……..oh wait….
02.05.10 at 5:42 pm
boring! glad i moved away
02.06.10 at 10:47 am
feel the love
02.06.10 at 5:55 pm
THIS IS AWESOME.
02.07.10 at 12:29 am
hilarious
and terrifying
02.07.10 at 11:40 am
hahahaha too fucking funny i live in texas and i know that feeling
02.08.10 at 1:43 am