Listen I know you guys are all worried about what bag to get your old lady for xmas. If your chick is really into you then she’ll be stoked you even attempt to get her one but she will be bummed if it’s the wrong one. Don’t make the mistake of buying a fake one on the street. Women research what differentiates those from the real ones so that’s like buying her a rock claiming it’s a diamond and she takes it to a jeweler and finds out it’s a cubic zirconia. Instead take the $100 you’d buy a fake Goyard with and pick her up one of these epic bags from Slow & Steady Wins The Race. She won’t be nearly as worried about these bags as she would a craze expensive one so you’ll have a less stressed lady friend who will not be afraid to get dirty (cause you can totally throw these in the dryer).
The Hermes Birkin bag. If she wants the original you’d better be prepared to drop about $7500. This bag is kinda boring in its original form but girls are crazy about it as a status symbol. Use the rest of the cash you have to take her to Balthazar.
The 2.55 Chanel flap bag. Retails for over $3000. This one will make her just as happy plus for whoever doesn’t know it’s by Slow & Steady will just think she has some craze limited Chanel. Take the money you saved to bring her to Lil Frankies.
The Dior Saddle bag. You can find these for about $2000. I don’t actually know any girls who lust after these bags but I’m sure they’re out there. The reason Slow & Steady didn’t do a LV is because there’s no definable shape to theirs. This will probably make your chick just as happy. Bring her to Ray’s Pizza with the cash you have left over.
Or just buy all three and make her dinner at home. If she seems displeased just ramble off something about how bad the economy is or how good these are for the environment.
Jen Hanley
Gnarlitude.com
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$2000 for a purse? wait a second, think about this for a minute. TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS for a fucking purse. you could buy a car for that much money. I know to you brooklynites, $2000 is your share of a month’s rent, but here in the rest of the world that’s a lot of money. fuck you rich snobs, I hope 9-11 happens again!
10.07.08 at 11:05 am
Dear ladies,
Are we really talking about Christmas already? September just ended and you’re already dropping us hints?
Here’s a better idea; why don’t we all stop pretending that holiday gift-giving is anything more than a yearly social obligation we all find stressful and expensive and concentrate on the one good thing about Christmas i.e. the food.
Yours sincerely
Men
10.07.08 at 11:11 am
Redickulous.
Fuck that
Make me sugar cookies for Christmas and I’ll be happy.
10.07.08 at 11:28 am
Oh, how modest of you Jen. An alternative would be to drop 2,000 leaves on flatbed full of concrete and a shovel wielding day laborer. Your excess loving ass will be clutching couture at the base of a Puerto Rican perch.
10.07.08 at 12:26 pm
Never said I was one of those girls! I’m set with my own way less pricey bag.
10.07.08 at 1:08 pm
Also Sexysm it’s not just girls in NYC that are into bags. That’s why there’s this popular terrible web site called Bag, Borrow Or Steal where people actually pay good fucking money to RENT their dream handbag.
10.07.08 at 1:10 pm
That is fucking absurd.
10.07.08 at 1:38 pm
I paid 2.5 grande for a guitar – so I guess I can’t ream girls out too hard for this. But a fucking purse! It holds things. Plastic bags hold things…
10.07.08 at 1:40 pm
not sure if any of you retards got the link to Slow and Steady Wins the Race. They sell there own versions of these bags for $100 a pop. This post is doing all the work for you. I’m about to buy one and not have to worry about what i’m getting my girl this year.
10.07.08 at 1:52 pm
Why are people so mad up in the comments section? Do they understand that this piece is about cheaper alternatives that DON’T cost $5000? In any case, this was very informative; I might buy that Chanel knockoff for myself.
10.07.08 at 1:52 pm
I wouldn’t wanna date a girl that even wanted that shit. Imagine what a fucking nightmare it would be. No pussy, and I mean NO PUSSY is worth dealing with that kinda shit.
10.07.08 at 2:43 pm
sweet jesus. i would never subject my man to this kind of thing. i already have a bag. it’s big and canvas and holds all my shit, and thus it serves its function.
i really hate most girls i see carrying those ’status’ bags. knockoffs…..who cares.
10.07.08 at 2:47 pm
I wouldn’t feel comfortable if my boo boo bought me a ridic designer bag.
However, if I was dating a millionaire or something along those lines, that would be a different story. make it rain with bags and expensive thangs.
Also, my honey buns is in iraq right now, so actually I just want to cuddle with him for Christmas, thats IF he’ll even get leave.
ay carumba.
10.07.08 at 10:39 pm
I don’t care how rich you are or how much you love the girl 2000 clams is redici not only for a bag but for a gift. Fuck, I don’t think I have received $2000 in gifts in my entire life from girls so why on earth would anyone buy such a thing. Second of all, fuck status, fuck purses and fuck women’s wants cause there usually pretty excessive. Whatever happened to cheap necklaces or even a pair of shoes for that matter. With that said I don’t think thats the point here, I think she’s just hinting at her b/f on what she wants for xmas. Clever clever Ms. Hanley.
10.08.08 at 1:06 am
buy me a leather jacket and I am happy
10.08.08 at 1:30 pm
100 bucks is still too much for me to spend on a purse.
10.09.08 at 4:12 am