I’ve been rocking a beard for ages. I did the mountain style a few winters ago just to see how long i could go, but it’s shit like this Craigslist “Missed Connection” that makes me want to break out the razor:
“To the Bearded Hipster – w4m – 18 (Newton Highlands Inbound Thursday 10 AM)
Date: 2010-02-22, 4:41PM EST
I saw your slender legs in skin tight jeans from so very far away. I’ll admit it was an uncontrollable reaction to unbutton my Peacoat and proudly display my well developed chest, peaking through my cropped floral button up. It was so raw. I wrote about it in my blog! Did my belt draw your attention to my tiny frame? The frame well hidden under my high waist jeans. Did you like the copy of “the Unbearable Lightness of Being” I was clutching, the same copy so old that it is falling apart? I’m sure you appreciated my glasses, big frames with prescription lenses, so very flattering to my curly bedhead hair. I hope you liked my vintage lace up boots, my tooled leather bag. You stepped aside to let me on the train ahead of you, then I walked too far ahead.
Bearded Hipster, I saw you look at me,
And I could tell you had not bathed in half a century (or maybe a decade but really for the sake of my poem, I will exaggerate happily),
Bearded Hipster, oh so liberal and free…
Did you vote Obama willfully?
* Location: Newton Highlands Inbound Thursday 10 AM”
-J. BLUE
Dear J. Blue,
Some poor old fag sat there scribing his anti-hipster poem for the abyss. What a fucking loser.
-SBTVC
Send “Dear Street Carnage” letters to SBTVC@StreetCarnage.com
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“…for the abyss.” If only. Yet here we are. Reading it. Wishing we hadn’t.
02.25.10 at 10:34 am
One of the worst things about “anti-hipster” backlash is people who can’t like anything anymore trying to make it impossible for other people to like things.
02.25.10 at 10:46 am
this chick sounds fucking hot
02.25.10 at 11:43 am
I bet it was Amber Lamps.
02.25.10 at 12:27 pm
Woah, that chick should write for the J. Peterman catalog.
02.25.10 at 1:03 pm
@pingpong – I thought that’s what hipsters did. So many people I know who are ashamed of the things they like, so they like them ironically. Which is just like liking something, only with plausible deniability. Then when I come along and actually just like something, they try to make me feel bad about it. Hence: backlash.
02.25.10 at 1:07 pm
totally wins:
“Woah, that chick should write for the J. Peterman catalog.”
02.25.10 at 1:18 pm
I like how they think that an 18 year old can be a hipster.
02.25.10 at 3:02 pm
i feel like those were some 18 year old stoners who can’t write anything who tried to MAKE A POINT on craigslist missed connections to BE FUNNY and SEE WHO WOULD RESPOND to this IRONIC clearly PRO-HIPSTER posting
02.25.10 at 4:34 pm
I like the person who wrote the poem.
02.25.10 at 5:21 pm
If I don’t really care at all what hipster is then does that make me, like, the biggest hipster or the least hipster? Or if I publicly say that I don’t care about what hipster is then does really mean I do care since I obviously care if I’m making sure everybody knows I don’t care? Are we making fun of hipsters or anti-hipsters? Should I just ask Barf or Drew or Aileen?
02.25.10 at 5:51 pm
[...] Street Carnage) #SharePanel { font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-top:10px;padding-top:15px; [...]
02.26.10 at 1:35 pm
who do we tell?
02.26.10 at 3:51 pm
best beanie ever
02.26.10 at 10:02 pm