Dear Drew,
My boyfriend always asks me if I’m turned on by other men’s genitals during sex. He asks me how big my other boyfriends were in comparison to his and asks me to talk dirty about other men. Sometimes, he even asks me to pretend he is one of my ex-boyfriends/hook-ups and to call him by their name. He really seems to get off on this, but I don’t know how to tell him it weirds me out. What should I do?
This question is from my sister, which she cleverly tried to disguise by using a fake Gmail account, but then put her fucking name in the signature. This is why I’m the smarter sibling. Hey sis, maybe your boyfriend wants you to talk about other guy’s dicks so much because it takes his mind off your scary flotsam-floating vagina.
J/k, I love you. Your boyfriend either has a cuckold fantasy or is gay, but trying not to be (or doesn’t realize it yet). Or it might be some third, weird college thing. You’re what, like 20-ish? Yeah, nobody knows what they really like in bed at that age, so you just try a bunch of stuff and see what sticks. Give me a call back when you realize that you cum harder when getting socked in the jaw, then we’ll talk.
Hope that helps,
Drew
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BOooooooooooOring
03.20.09 at 2:19 pm
Andre Gide cries while masturbating
03.20.09 at 2:24 pm
gee Drew, I was holding out some hope for you. But this was very bad; try harder, or less hard, not sure which..
03.20.09 at 2:29 pm
@ whiner’s
Agreed.
03.20.09 at 2:32 pm
i’ll punch your sister mid-cum… the offer’s open.
03.20.09 at 2:51 pm
Why is the Arab Parrot in the background wrestling with a girl
03.20.09 at 3:09 pm
Isn’t it true that the female pussy immediately goes arid as soon as some metrosexual starts asking her questions like that? Were her ex-boyfriends white? Maybe he wants to be white really bad. “Ooooh yeah, call me Chip baby. Let me stick that big pink dong deep inside. Oooh yeah…” Dump him.
03.20.09 at 3:16 pm
he’s gay.
03.20.09 at 3:29 pm
I’ve never seen so many fuglies per picture before.
03.20.09 at 3:36 pm
what the fuck is the arab parrot doing in this picture and why is he molesting that girl with an awkwardly large chin?
03.20.09 at 4:49 pm
the only time men seem to want to hear about other guys is if the other guys happened to be black. then they need to hear a detailed report and apparently take mental notes, as they bring it up time and again most especially when they’re coming from behind (e.g. “i bet your pussy loved that big black cock, didn’t it?”). squirtathon follows. i’m convinced that 95% of white men want to either get fucked by black men or watch women get fucked by black men while they jerk off.
03.20.09 at 5:38 pm
That is patently untrue.
03.20.09 at 6:01 pm
I’m a white guy, and I could car less if black cocks were covered in lesser black cocks with additional black cocks attached to them. And that’s the most I’ve ever thought of black cocks.
03.20.09 at 6:05 pm
@Anonymous
I wouldn’t fuck you with Wilt Chamberlain’s dick.
03.20.09 at 7:31 pm
@Anonymous
But let’s say he did fuck you, would you be able to describe it in detail to me? Hold on while I grab some crisco.
03.20.09 at 7:36 pm
“I wouldn’t fuck you with Wilt Chamberlain’s dick.”
only because you’d be too busy getting your rocks off bitch slapping yourself in the face with it, you silly pussy.
03.20.09 at 8:05 pm
Andre Gide watches white women being fucked by black men while jerking off and crying
03.20.09 at 10:05 pm
I would dump him. What the heck? OK, the grossest fetishes I can forgive, but heckling you about your sexual past during fucking is annoying. This also stems for serious insecurity.
03.20.09 at 11:10 pm
reza and …zoe? is that her name? he’s the fag and she’s your sister? weird, but I believe it.
03.21.09 at 2:08 am
“Give me a call back when you realize that you cum harder when getting socked in the jaw”
can you please explain this further?
03.21.09 at 2:43 am
10,000 horses say that is not your sister – despite how terrible SC readers usually are, you don’t have to throw in punching-during-sex stories to try and keep our attention. we like you anyway!
03.21.09 at 12:24 pm
10,000 horses can’t be wrong
03.21.09 at 12:25 pm
Again, I vote for more punching-during-sex stories. It wasn’t actually a story, it was just an offhanded comment.
03.21.09 at 3:00 pm
Haha, some guy at a party recognized me from this column last night and asked how my sister was.
03.21.09 at 4:24 pm
pretending to be someone else during sex is the best. sometimes i pretend i’m a terminator. sometimes i pretend i’m cobra commander when he’s part snake.
03.21.09 at 5:44 pm
stop posting these
03.21.09 at 9:32 pm
I love getting sex advice from fucking Super Fudge. thanks Barney or what ever the fuck.. what about my evil evil evil getting raped and then taking revenge fantasy. waht about that tabernac
03.21.09 at 11:06 pm
Vane$$a Says:
03.20.09 at 3:16 pm
Isn’t it true that the female pussy immediately goes arid as soon as some metrosexual starts asking her questions like that? Were her ex-boyfriends white? Maybe he wants to be white really bad. “Ooooh yeah, call me Chip baby. Let me stick that big pink dong deep inside. Oooh yeah…” Dump him.
BAJINK A JINK JINK
03.21.09 at 11:08 pm
I want the one where your sister confides she knew what length of sausage your dick was under grandma’s quilt when you got rocked at the beach under the star shower. She needs to suck you off, tadpole tallywacker! Just a sis, give her a chance, Mr. Dickey.
03.22.09 at 2:13 am
can we get rid of drew already
03.22.09 at 5:59 pm
Well, that answer wasn’t too helpful. When I was fucking my ex-boyfriend he would do the very same thing the letter-writer describes, i.e. ask me a bunch of questions about guys I’d fucked since we had been broken up, how big their dicks were and so on. This cuckold thing is the most anxiety-provoking fetish of them all, because the dude might get all annoyed/jealous/irritated about what you told him after the fact. Or he might be both turned on AND resentful, at the same time! This seemed to be the case with my ex (I tried not to tell him anything).
So you should only humor his fetish if you feel confident he won’t, like, be weird about it later. You need to make it clear that sharing information about your exes’ huge cocks is strictly for fun sexual bedroom times, & that it’s not cool to bring it up during a fight (or be all whiny, like “I bet you wish my dick was bigger, like all those black guys you told me about”).
03.22.09 at 8:15 pm
what’s even better is if you keep pictures of previous cocks and show them to the boyfriend when he brings it up. the best anger sex i ever had occurred after i showed the guy a pic of the other guy’s (even larger) cock when he kept nagging me about it and then letting him know how much better i liked it than his. guys love to get tweaked like that. almost always leads to better, old school italian style sex. though one guy started crying and that was a real downer but that’s the exception to the rule.
03.22.09 at 9:56 pm
I really enjoyed this…and have enjoyed every Drew article so far…
hipster asshole commenters…….fuck you, and try not to feel so upset that YOU don’t have a section on the website you like to go to….
03.22.09 at 10:19 pm
can we get around to the punching already?
03.23.09 at 3:43 am
Arab Parrot is such a rapist/serial killer waiting to happen.
03.23.09 at 11:44 am
jamie = drew
03.23.09 at 12:48 pm
Shit!
Was it that obvious? Yep, I really was jamie. I know this sucked- gimme another shot.
03.23.09 at 5:27 pm
Seriously, ew, DUMP HIM. I was out with my friends and we ran out of conversation and I just sudenly went “EW, WHAT A DAMN LOSER.” GAH. And your vagina is fine. Shut up, Drew.
I like Drew, too, cock sprout. And why don’t you think of a more original diss that the whole “she’s pretending to be another user so it can look like someone likes her.”
03.23.09 at 6:45 pm
OK, who’s the last “Drew”? I’m getting confused now.
03.23.09 at 6:46 pm
Between the guessing game of which fake name Drew is defending herself under, the nearly unanimous hate, and the positive comments that don’t make any grammatical sense, I have to say that Drew’s column easily has the most idiosyncratic comment section on this website.
03.24.09 at 10:06 am
ha 1,2,3 not 4 = Videodrew = Drew
05.14.09 at 1:20 am