My name is Marvin dale Molamba, I am young boy of 17yrs old. I lost my parents and my only sister to the war in my country which my father Abbas Sula Molamba owned a diamond/gold mine. I am lucky that I was able to flee to this place here in Cote d’Ivoire by the good grace that spared my life.
I am presently staying in a residence lodging apartment here in Cote d’Ivoire. I would like to appeal to you confidentialy to assist me concerning my late father’s Fund which he deposited in a financial firm, he has the sum of nine million, two hundred and ten thousand Euro (9.210,000) and some treasure in vault company here in Cote d’Ivoire. I want to move out from here because of the my wicked stepmother who plotted with the rebels that killed my father and will stop at nothing to hunt my life except if i flee since my father own a diamond/gold mine. So please i want to know you better.
I am willing to offer you 921,000euro for your assistance after the successful transfer of this money for investment; I have plans to do investment in your country, like real estate, industrial production or any other lucrative investment you bring to my notice in your country.
If you are willing to help me please indicate in your next mail and let me know so that I can mail to you. Let me have your private telephone number & address so that i can communicate with you at any time for more details.
Thanks, Marvin dale
Marv,
Man that sucks. I wish I could help you out, that’s a lot of euros and God knows I need the money. That’s like, high-end porn producer money. With 921,000 euros I could afford to not take off my top during every vchat session. With that kind of money I could be working on my next screenplay, which is going to be like a Judd Apatow movie except with more girl power and the main protagonist is a schlubby fat stoner chick who is really funny and guys want to sleep with her even though she and her friends just talk about their pussy problems all the time and sit around queefing.
Hope that helps,
Drew
[ED NOTE: That's a random image from Google, not the author]
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STREET BONER 1127
Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.
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can I please be in that movie.
04.08.09 at 3:59 pm
Try again
04.08.09 at 4:20 pm
Wow, you’re really not that funny. There’s so many other better directions you could’ve gone with that.
04.08.09 at 4:59 pm
wtf?
04.08.09 at 6:03 pm
leave with some shred dignity intact? Naw, I bet you won’t.
04.08.09 at 6:09 pm
wait, so why cant you take the money? I missed that part
04.08.09 at 6:50 pm
what if he’s for real, huh? did you ever think about that? what if there really is a Starvin Mizzarvin begging at your fat feet, and you just queef at him all obtuse like?
04.08.09 at 9:00 pm
i’ve already seen like 10,000 people make jokes where they try to take this email “seriously”. i mean, flight of the conchords did it like two months ago. i hate to say it, but i prefer the bad sex advice.
04.08.09 at 10:30 pm
Yeah truly. This sucks.
04.08.09 at 10:50 pm
Treasure? Wicked stepmom? Cut me in.
04.08.09 at 11:26 pm
dear drew, do you know me or something?
04.09.09 at 10:19 am
I agree with Freddy Murphy up there. You’re a bummer, and late to the plate. Try less hard, and maybe things will work out.
04.09.09 at 10:58 am
this website is like becoming the drizzling shits, ya know.
04.09.09 at 11:34 am
Drew. I dont know why you’ve been singled out, maybe you’re prettier than everyone else? I think your posts are fine, will you have sex with me now?
love,
Cthulhu’s Dad
04.09.09 at 2:30 pm
Sometimes i think people just like to pick on the pretty popular girl.
04.12.09 at 5:22 pm