This was my letter. It became a good possibility that the gf mentioned in my original email/letter was going to end up reading the post. I end up telling her first, hoping that will help my case. Of course, she is really hurt when I tell her what I asked. On top of normal girl stuff, turns out she had weight issues when she was younger (she is Chinese, so double-anguish).
She is just really hurt about it. I mean, for fuck’s sake we hadn’t even fought before this. Is it likely that things can be okay after this, or will this change things too much? Yeah, this is a 25-and-under relationship, get over it blah blah. But I was thinking I might end up with this girl, like me love her long time. So I’d like to know if I should expend the energy trying to salvage this.
Cheers,
Maurice
Maurice,
I don’t know why people are writing in, asking for relationship advice. That’s what Savage Love podcasts are for. I don’t know shit about relationships, but if I was your girlfriend’s friend and she told me what happened, I’d tell her to dump you. Any guy who loves his girlfriend wouldn’t write in a semi-anonymous note to a grimey website complaining about how fat she is.
That reminds me: Guys, stop with the “negging” already. Unless you are a gay Canadian clown with your own TV show, you just come off like an asshole if you go up to girls and introduce yourself by saying you hate her jeans. You didn’t “open a set,” you just sent a message to a girl that a) you care about fashion and b) you’re a bitch. So basically you are a gay man if you neg chicks all the time, and the only girls you are going to attract are chicks with low self-esteem or power bottoms. So next time you call my bike “retarded” because it has a basket and doesn’t go very fast, don’t expect a blowjob. I’m just going to tell all your friends you have HPV. Just a heads-up.
-Drew
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I was missing Drew there for a minute…you’re great. And I fucking hate that Canadian dude bro.
05.13.09 at 11:10 am
emotional anguish is neither hot nor fun to read about, esp. when no intentional degredation is involved.
05.13.09 at 11:21 am
I like your bike… We should go for a bike-picnic sometime.
05.13.09 at 11:26 am
Yeah I gotta say, I’d love to do a burn-out on that “Feg’s” fucking head with your bike.
How tha fuck is that vagina on TV? And ANY girl who would respond to him has got to have had a lobotomy.
05.13.09 at 11:31 am
And his awkward faggot henchmen, the Hindu and the pixie, eggghhh!!
05.13.09 at 11:32 am
hehe. i like u Drew. u funny.
05.13.09 at 11:41 am
wtf this wasnt meant to be up on the site
weak
05.13.09 at 11:48 am
dude, homeboy is rocking a beard-marble! is it my hangover, or does that guy write in fragmented stammering shitspeak?
05.13.09 at 12:15 pm
I love your bike. Can I have a blowjob now?
05.13.09 at 12:19 pm
Save fashion critique for the third date. You will NEVER live it down.
05.13.09 at 12:20 pm
negging? who the fuck does that? this is a reference to a tv show right? it’s ridiculous how hard it is for some people to meet girl. “Hey how you doing?” or “will you dance with me” even “are you from around here”, that shit works, and when it doesn’t just say ok and walk away. Do that 10 times in one night, you’ll get a bite. If you don’t ur asking girls who are out of your league or ur dull as rocks after one of the above works.
As for fat gf dude. Sounds like she’s not gonna drop the lbs for you now, so if she’s that bad dump her while ur at it. Don’t wait around for her to dump u, it’s a waste of both of your time and ur still a dick anyway. Take ownership of ur dickishness.
05.13.09 at 12:44 pm
“So next time you call my bike ‘retarded’…don’t expect a blowjob.”
Not falling for that one again.
05.13.09 at 12:56 pm
just go and google
PUA
most of the people here are AFC’s (google that one too)
05.13.09 at 1:18 pm
why don’t you just get a bike that goes fast. they are way more fun. not to say that you don’t look pretty on a slow bike with a basket full of pickled daikon, but i can just tell that you have some issues about this one, drew.
and did you say blow job instead of fuck because heavier girls are better at oral sex than they are at fucking?
because that is the case.
so obviously y’all men want a girl that’ll do both. she rides a fast bike so she can fuck you, but she has a basket on her fast bike so she can still make you cum with her mouth. it’s really that simple.
so gals get a fast bike with a basket. you will be thin and in shape, but you will still appear feminine and nurturing because of the bucket of fried chicken at the helm.
this way we don’t have to read letters from maurice and we (the sbtv readers) can just read letters about how “my gal fucks me so fast and long, and then she makes me a healthy, fattening dinner.”
05.13.09 at 1:47 pm
now why the hell would you show your letter to your gf fuckin’ tardlips. good response drew.
05.13.09 at 1:51 pm
why is it seen as a bad thing/dickish when one part of a couple does something that hurts the relationship (like say gets remarkably fatter) and the other one calls them on it? I mean in this scenario the fat one is hurting the relationship not the one who was honest enough to say “Hey babe, that extra twomp your packing is making my dick soft/pussy arid and now I’m looking at other girls/guys…I really love you, but if you don’t get it in check I’m out.” He is the hero of the relationship. That is called communication.
05.13.09 at 2:09 pm
1. Think before writing something negative on a public forum about your girlfriend again.
2. Lots of oral sex and g-spot orgasms.
3. Expensive jewelry and a nice vacation.
4. Say things like “I am so lucky to have you” and “you are so beautiful” often (grovel).
That should do it. She might get over it if she thinks that you will buy her something pretty when you fuck up.
05.13.09 at 2:43 pm
Can we make fun of Mystery more??
05.13.09 at 3:53 pm
Hear, hear on the bike ish.
05.13.09 at 4:29 pm
well, you’re reasonably happily married so i guess that basically you would have to find a way to fuck me without fucking me.
Exactly. For example, I could not fuck you, but just sort of spread open your pussy, lick you until your legs are dripping, and then jam my cock into your cunt. I could twist your body full around to make sure I get every angle of you. I could squeeze your breasts into tits. I could slap your ass with
each
mean
big
hurty
thrustfuck
I could stick my middle finger way up your ass and pull your hair if you dared come too soon
but we would save something so it wouldn’t really be, you know,
fucking
05.13.09 at 6:56 pm
HELLOOOO WHITE PEOPLE!!!!!!!
05.13.09 at 8:08 pm
OK, Drew, we men should stop “negging” — got it. But what about “nigging?” Should we stop that too? You know, when you go up to a set of girls and rob them at gunpoint?
Is that still cool, or is that not going to get me a blowjob?
05.14.09 at 1:12 am
poetry in the comments section. awesome.
05.14.09 at 1:37 am
Stop nagging about sex, and then guys won’t try so hard.
05.14.09 at 4:22 am
Dude, don’t worry about your girlfriend. She already has low self-esteem. That means she’ll cling to you no matter what for a few reasons:
- She’s terrified of being alone
- She’s terrified that no one else will want her if you don’t
- She’s grown up feeling so bad about herself that it’s almost comforting that you would make her feel like shit again.
So, if she does leave you, you can be sure that she’ll go to some other asshole that makes her feel even worse about herself, or who makes fun of her bike just right. Or some guy who makes fun of her bike, but doesn’t want to sleep with her, but she assumes he does, so she tells her friends “it’s complicated” when she talks about why she can never be with the guy who makes fun of her bike.
PS negging works, it’s all in the delivery, and is only one tool among many. You should never rely entirely on that one trick though.
05.14.09 at 12:31 pm
i think the reason it was a dick move for him to ask is because he stressed that she’s at a fine, healthy weight, and he just wants her to lose weight because he likes very thin girls. It doesn’t sound to me like she’s some lardass who tricked him into a relationship with a hot bod and then blew up afterward.
05.14.09 at 3:25 pm
Wah wah wah. Negging or whatever works. Being a bastard WORKS. With women as with everything else. You can’t argue with results.
“…and the only girls you are going to attract are chicks with low self-esteem”
There is no such thing as high self-esteem. There are just differing degrees of self-delusion. Rock & roll. Deal with it.
05.14.09 at 5:52 pm
I love my bicycle more than anyone in this city. Its a more reliable ride than a boyfriend and it never wakes me up.
05.14.09 at 8:08 pm