Today was my final day of sifting through my poop. What a relief. This time I had to take a small wooden popsicle like stick, scoop some poop and smear it on a card three days in a row. Needless to say this was not the highlight of my week, and I’m glad its over. Now the waiting, which is pushing me to the point of insanity. What’s wrong with my bum? Why must I be the poster child for all my friends? I’ve asked around, and it seems like I am the weird one and that none of my friends have ever had anything similar happen to them (that they’ll admit). Its like an AIDS test, but I can’t curse the whore who gave it to me. I just have to sit around and wait to find out if I’m going to die or survive this. I pray, which I never do, that this is something simple and I can laugh about it in a week or so. I, like Sara Silverman, think poop is hilarious, but for the past few weeks this shit has not been funny.
Anywho, the lady at the doctors office said “three ta foh business days” so as soon as I get the results, all you people I’ve never ever met will be the first to know. Enjoy these pictures while I ruin your lunch.
Thomy Croft
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very modern art.
04.17.09 at 10:12 am
when i was in highschool, in study hall, in the library, we dared this kid, john anderson, to take a shit in a book. After about 30 minutes of telling him how cool it would be he finally took the green hard covered book, lets say it was called A Study of the Gettysburg Address, or something like that that, into the bathroom and took a dump in it. When he brought it back, we were all in stitches cause there was a little piece of toilet paper sticking out like a book mark. haha. Anyway this provided an entire year of laughs, every time someone one would come into the library during our study hall, one of us would nonchalantly ask them to grab the book for us. Nobody could resist the book mark. Worked like a charm everytime.
04.17.09 at 10:38 am
omg you guys. you guys are so oogross!!!!!
04.17.09 at 11:21 am
Is this from Dash Snow’s latest show?
04.17.09 at 12:01 pm
ugh god. i bet it’s nothing but booze/bad diet shits.
04.17.09 at 12:08 pm
I kept my cool for most of the article but, uh, lost my shit at the last set of photos.
In high school, I took a rather large shit on a paper plate, then folded it over like some paper/shit taco for carrying ease. I walked around my neighborhood, picked a suitably ratty car, parked at a neighborhood park at 3 am, and proceeded to smear the feces all over the windshield.
I have no idea what compelled me to do this.
04.17.09 at 12:35 pm
I’m glad that you are keeping us posted on this, I look forward to the results!
04.17.09 at 1:43 pm
give val’s job to this guy please.
04.17.09 at 2:05 pm
why did you pick a shitty car? dick. I have known 4 or 5 people that have shit blood like this from drinking to hard every day all day. I cut a hole in the pages of a book shit in it and put it on a assholes book shelf for a little smell treat for a few weeks
04.18.09 at 2:04 am
your shit looks wrong besides the blood..what shape is your bum hole?
most shit i’ve seen and done seem to have been extruded through a round hole..
but your shit looks like it’s been through a hole with four sides or edges and corners..
i suspect your asshole is Quadrilateral shaped…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Quadrilaterals.svg
peace.
04.18.09 at 3:30 am
This is literaly – poo.
04.18.09 at 7:08 pm
Results????
07.21.09 at 6:42 am