Objective ministries. don’t ask me how I came across this site. I don’t even know myself. it is either a brilliant parody or incredibly disturbing.

What i do know is that the kids sending them pictures are scary and weird. or they’re not really kids. anyway here are some samples from the “artwork gallery.”

Whenever you feel sad, don’t cry to yourself… Cry out to Jesus instead! He will come and comfort you! Doesn’t that make you happy?

No, that freaks the shit out of me.

“i drew jesus after his ressurection becsue it was easter and i drew him with big musclews becsue the lord is mitey”

You can’t be fucking serious. (And note he still has a hole in his left hand, so presumably he’s bleeding all over the kids back with his right hand.)

His love is so powerful, it leaves them in tears! LOL! LOVE OUR LORD!

An angry Christ-loving lamb will make Rasta and Jewish children cry? And also… rainbow children? What the fuck?

When Jesus takes away one arm, He gives the other one the gift of art! Isn’t that nice of Him?

  • No, he is an asshole for taking away some poor kid’s arm.
  • It’s fun to play at the beach with the Lord! Look at me, I’m a lifeguard! YAY!

    Dude, if you are at the beach with Jesus there is no need for a fucking lifeguard. And why are all the children dancing like that?

    I think he just needs a hug from Jesus!

    Even if Jesus himself hugged me I would still need my coffee.

    “I drew this picture of me in a boat and Jesus is my anchor. I’m overweight and kids tease me alot but Jesus makes me feel better.”

    If you’re that overweight then maybe you should be the anchor? Sorry.

    Jake, 9, drew Jesus and him laughing together!

    It looks like Jesus is laughing at him, not with him? And vice versa.

    Jim, 12, drew Jesus and me riding a motorcycle together! That looks like fun!

    Okay, that actually does look like fun.

    No related posts.

    This entry was posted on 04.01.09 at 1:31 pm by SBTVC . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
    37 Comments
    1. whiners suck Says:

      ok that was funny


    2. I say. Says:

      praise jesus…best post of the day


    3. louis Says:

      fuck yeah jesus is a hot biker…did jen draw that?


    4. roo Says:

      I wanna party here: http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/art/kidzart-crissy_party_large.jpg


    5. coffee Says:

      why the fuck do they hate coffee so much? it’s like pick your fucking battles


    6. Danielle Says:

      That was a gem!


    7. Still Not A Tree Says:

      Why wouldn’t they hate coffee? Coffee beans are cultivated in evil (evul?) places! By colored people!! And it makes many, many people happy!!!
      Its the work of motha-fuckin’ SATAN and shit son


    8. Still Not A Tree Says:

      april fools~!


    9. streetbummers Says:

      ancient Space Ghetto artifacts


    10. hagenshape Says:

      fake!
      and all drawn by the same hand


    11. Totally Unfunny Says:

      How courageous and original. You’re making fun of Christianity. Your balls are balls deep. I’m gonna put you right up there with the Scandinavians who ran the Muslim cartoons. This gesture screams, “risk taker.” What’s next? Breaking it all down and making fun of white males for being white males? Be it far from me to defend Christianity, but this steam laden piece of shit actually makes Christianity suddenly seem less abhorrent. Really, in this day and age when you have Muhammad for the taking, you take it to the jugular of the pre-maligned/pre-crucified Jesus? You get my vote for biggest pussies on the internet. Bar none.


    12. Helmut Falconi Says:

      I agree with TU. Pulling out the Jesus for laughs is even more lame than using cute kids to shield you from critics who bust on your lameness. Too obvious.


    13. Sack of Balls Says:

      You don’t have one, and yeah, I’ve been making fun of Christianity since I was like 5. This is as boring as that pasty north of Mississauga mama’s boy and his gay bum casserole.


    14. Go fuck yourselves Says:

      …the lot of you. this shit is funny.


    15. chub Says:

      yep, funny. stop whining.


    16. Fuwa Mugabitz Says:

      Prove it. I wanna know exactly why this shit is funny right now. And don’t say that it’s funny because it’s so unfunny that it becomes funny because it tickles you because it makes you feel better about yourself. That’s a given. I want proof that it is balls out, gut stomping, unadulterated fucking funny. Until then, it’s nothing more than proof that white people are OVER.


    17. MeSoHorny Says:

      what a brilliant parody


    18. jc Says:

      son of god, awesome-ass bod


    19. Douche From Above 19 SuckyFuck Says:

      i want that last one on something.


    20. Street Boning Says:

      Nice find, but if you’re fat you float, dummy!


    21. srsly Says:

      people will still vote for jesus and god even though the two of them are highly overrated


    22. Go fuck yourselves Says:

      Either Fuwa Mugabitz is really funny or he is so angry that he [she?] cant find this funny that it is INDEED funny. Funny how these things work.


    23. ew Says:

      if you don’t find this piss- your -leggings funny i hope your forced to rape your own parents and eat your children. also, i too want to get that last one tatooed as a giant chest piece.


    24. ew Says:

      wait what the fuck? how did u not include the picture of jesus chugging holy water out of a keg with dinosaurs and lil john and skeet on an island?


    25. WORLD WAR DREW Says:

      ^^^^^^^^^^SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK! i want the dino island scene as a fuckin neck tattoo


    26. crowd Says:

      street boning wrote:

      ‘Nice find, but if you’re fat you float, dummy!’

      likewise if your thin…


    27. bj Says:

      fuck yeah that was awesome.

      best part: “coffee is evul” fuck, religious people are scary (esp the young ones)


    28. newmyry Says:

      truly lame


    29. ew Says:

      BEST PART: they print their jesus t-shirts on american apparel. that alone proves there is a god, n he hates christians.


    30. grumble Says:

      kind of ripping off jerry jackson


    31. homeless. Says:

      i love how the atheist looks like “The dude”


    32. Affirmative Maction Says:

      Making fun of christians is such a provincial attempt at seeming “sophisticated” or “funny.” You’re fronting. That said, Jesus is funny.


    33. ZLUR Says:

      People take this stuff serious eh?


    34. zaxxon Says:

      awesome.


    35. With my head in the clouds, I see it all « Vodka-fuelled Diatribes Says:

      [...] Jesus is scary and very, very weird. (ACHTUNG!! Link is not safe for [...]


    36. jumbles Says:

      thats the atheist goat, this isnt real..
      athiests made up that goat as a joke.


    37. Mostly Stupeh » Blog Archive » You’re right, Jerky. My search is over. Says:

      [...] made me grateful that people invented cutting large animals into small pieces and dehydrating the bejeesus out of them.  In fact, I love this Buffalo Jerky so much that I want to be it.  When I die, I [...]


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