(The author in an American Apparel ad)
Dear Street Carnage,
I don’t care that you made fun of me I was born a joker, but my Daddy, Dov Charney on the other hand has been the victim of many untruths.
This monster Keith Fink is a shitty faggot as far as I’m concerned. I think he is blatantly blackmailing my Daddy and lying to everyone’s face.
He’s the same genius who sued Ellen Degeneres for giving her adopted dog to a family with young children. He even took a picture of himself after he stole Iggy! And then he made up a lawsuit about this guy who produced the movies with the Sprouse Brothers in it (did you know that they were the kids that played the boy in Big Daddy?) just because he knew the guy would look bad in the media.
Even though Keith Fink got his client fined for fabricating evidence against American Apparel, is being investigated by the California State Bar and sent an extortion email to my Daddy, nobody questioned him when he filed THREE DIFFERENT LAWSUITS against us! And they’re all total BS. I think that it’s hard for people to be sympathetic to my Daddy but that’s because they don’t know him like I do. He changed my life and is the most caring and driven person, I love him so much!!!! They can’t understand what it would feel like to see the Wall Street Journal say you abuse people and that you’re a perv just because some lying lawyer put it in a lawsuit. Or how much it would hurt to see an employee that you supported for 5 years, turn on you and make up a story that you cooked the books just because they needed money. If it was just a personal thing, I guess it would be ok, but they really hurt the company and all my friends who work there and the thousands of immigrants who sew for us. It’s hateful and Keith Fink knew it would happen that way.
After all that, after accusing my Daddy of these horrible things and going on 20/20 and NBC News and insulting him, he called up our lawyer Joyce before trial and admitted that he made the whole thing up. Did he apologize or try to clear Dov’s name? NO! He asked for $1.3 million. And we had to give it to him because Daddy couldn’t sue him for extortion until after the case was resolved. That money could have been used for our Legalize LA Campaign for Immigrant Rights or our Legalize Gay Campaign to Repeal Prop 8 so I could get gay married!!!
People even tease my Daddy all the time. He was even spoofed on SNL! It just sucks that what is getting lost in the middle is that Keith Fink is ruining people’s lives and costing my Daddy millions of dollars that he’ll never get back. He’s not just some sleazy lawyer, there are lots of those. I see him as a terrorist asshole who lies and fabricates evidence. If the actual media won’t report on it then I’ll just say it myself. I SAY KEITH FINK BELONGS IN JAIL.
I HATE HIM.
Love Ya Mean It,
Jonny Makeup
UPDATE: LINKS ADDED AS JPEGS
UPDATE UPDATE: MORE LINKS ON THE SUBJECT
Dov Charney is the victim.
Case against Dov already lost.
Dov out to prove Fink is scumbag.
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I hate that bastard for making sure all shirts sold as music merchandise will be made out of paper-thin cotton (not even woven fabric, but actual cotton-ball shit that will come apart it you rub it between your fingers) and fitted for infant girls.
12.15.08 at 12:11 pm
why should anyone feel pity for dov charney? i bet he’s jerking off into his giant pile of money right now.
12.15.08 at 1:16 pm
haha, considering the stock price is down like 30% because of the lawsuits, i doubt he’s doing much celebrating about money.
what a fucking douchebag. this is why everyone hates lawyers
12.15.08 at 2:21 pm
Imagine how miserable it would be to have sex with Dov Charney. I’m not “in” enough to know if he has an accent, but he sure looks like he has one of those Sketch Factor 8 voices. Gross.
12.15.08 at 3:05 pm
My new standard of injustice is if you get Jonny makeup to call you a shitty faggot. Keith Fink: I agree you’re a scumbag.
12.15.08 at 3:20 pm
u faggots need to shut the fuck up. the only people who bitch about american apparel are fat fux like boosty who don’t have enuff crisco left to lube themselves into their fall out boy shirts cuz they already ate it all out of the can with a spoon. ya, dov’s a skeevy kike , but so r a lot of rich people . n ya, he likes to jizz into scene skanks hair or whatever, but they’re skanks, who gives a shit. what matters is that he pays he actually pays his mexicans enuff cash so they buy their tortillas and sneak th rest of the family over instead of forcing 9 year old bangladeshi’s to sew for 16 hours straight.
12.15.08 at 3:28 pm
really? who gives a shit about this guy Johnny Fuckup and Dov….
12.15.08 at 3:30 pm
I don’t know if this is the first time, but I whole-heartedly agree with ew.
12.15.08 at 3:43 pm
Fuck Dov Charney. Ya hear that Dov? Do you need a model? Cause I wanna fuck you.
12.15.08 at 3:58 pm
I will not read anything about Dov Charney. Fuck Street Carnage for hyping this.
12.15.08 at 5:14 pm
I remember when Liberals loved Dov Charney because of his labor practices. Now they hate him for his penis practices. Everyone was a fag except for me and my dad. Balls.
12.15.08 at 6:49 pm
for someone supposedly so funny, this letter is a snooze. how about livening it up w/ some comedy, man? please don’t tell me there were jokes in there?
as far as american apparel, their clothes are of poor quality and longevity, and fashionwise, they are responsible for leggings (and even worse, sparkly leggings), which are the worst thing about women’s fashion these days.
12.15.08 at 6:50 pm
“what matters is that he pays he actually pays his mexicans enuff cash so they buy their tortillas and sneak th rest of the family over instead of forcing 9 year old bangladeshi’s to sew for 16 hours straight.”
Classic!
C’mon, give this little cartoon creep some praise! He slithered from a rocky peak in Joshua Tree to courageously shield Papa Polyester from this speculative slander only to be ridiculed? Shame on you!
12.15.08 at 6:59 pm
Am I the only one that thinks this is a pretty admirable thing from Dov? Admirable, might be the wrong word. It’s cute. Like that hippo and turtle that fell in love in Germany.
12.15.08 at 7:02 pm
[...] Jonny exclusively refers to Dov as “Daddy.” Jonny is going to bat for his Daddy, and emailed Street Carnage to talk about Dov’s legal battles and accuse one lawyer involved in Dov’s lawsuits of [...]
12.15.08 at 7:53 pm
too long; didn’t read
some gay’s dad is getting sued? who cares?
AA is good for pictures of jailbait, why would anyone get emotional over who makes their goddam clothes?
12.15.08 at 7:54 pm
The many peculiar things about LA is that all those illegals that work his factory give the clothes they make out to there children. So you’ll see the most hipstered out Mexican 8 year-olds in the Eastside who can’t speak a word of English.
12.15.08 at 8:17 pm
Ah Taeil, I’ve never correlated the two. That’s priceless! So they’re not “ironically” selling me roses?
12.15.08 at 8:31 pm
Dear Jonny Makeup,
That Beyonce song you did truly sucked. Worse yet, gay clubs on the West Coast are playing it. Please never record yourself speaking ever again.
Love,
Everyone (and Gayboners)
12.15.08 at 9:25 pm
I can’t knock AA as far as their vertical integration, especially since the US makes next to nothing anymore. Marketing aside, their standard stuff can be okay. Gay Johnny is the worst though. I’m looking forward to everybody being embarrassed about coke-rap. It’s as gay as cum on a mustache.
12.15.08 at 11:16 pm
Cap’n Glitterfuzz, you may mock my grammatical errors, typos, and utter lack of syntax, but what you miss is the larger truth I am illustrating with my deliberate disregard for the English language and all other tools of the oppressive, soul-sucking machine that is free market capitalism. BURN DOWN THE BARBER SHOP!!!!!!!!!
12.16.08 at 2:37 am
why don’t we all go ride dov’s moustache. that’ll make us feel better.
12.16.08 at 5:00 am
T-Shirts people.
They’re T-SHIRTS.
T-SHIRTS.
12.16.08 at 8:07 am
seriously who give a shit about Johnny Fuckup & Dov
Johnny Fuckup looks like the gay version of Moe from the 3 stooges
12.16.08 at 12:49 pm
In twenty years there will be another version of both of these guys, doing the same thing, annoying anyone who cares to pay attention.
Back to viewing the Street Boners Archive…
12.16.08 at 1:36 pm
[...] which in turn, made it onto The Soup. Then, the Diplo Generation’s answer to Liberace wrote a batshit crazy letter to Street Carnage, which then, in turn, made it onto Jezebel. And because Jonny never forgets his roots, he just [...]
12.16.08 at 1:49 pm
hey, ew at 12:49 pm, IM GONNA RAPE UR FAGGOT FACE , FAGGOT.
12.16.08 at 7:01 pm
I just don’t have the attention span for this much tedious writing, could someone please edit so it is readable.
12.16.08 at 7:14 pm
Lets not lose track of Keith Fink — Fink is the low life that lies to the press in order to hurt peoples reputations so he can extort money. Nice job. I am sure no one will ever try to settle a case with Mr Temper Tantrum (Keith Fink) so only a fool or desperate person will use his legal (if you can call his services legal) services again
12.20.08 at 7:33 pm
JONNY- you are too cute!! keep fighting for ur DADDY – his business model successfully changes the face of fashion! Unfortunately finkie is a total MAMZAR and there are far too many jealous haters in the media getting out misinformation about the company. Damn the man, Save the EMPIRE!! hearts & kisses
12.24.08 at 11:36 pm
[...] – Johnny Makeup’s letter to Street Carnage made it into the Post. Here’s the best [...]
01.20.09 at 2:17 pm
This is the kind of shit that makes me feel iffy about american apparel. and i mean more so this adult man acting like a retard baby than the lawsuits.
01.21.09 at 2:34 am
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07.18.09 at 10:12 pm
Thanks so much for this wonderful, excellent and informative blog.
07.19.09 at 12:22 pm
Thank you for your help!
10.26.09 at 1:18 pm