Last night I was sniffing my ass as I’m wont to do and something occurred to me, “This smells like pussy.” Allow me to backtrack a bit. I don’t always smell my ass. I’m not like a dog or something but occasionally I will stick my finger in the top of the crack and then just give a quick sniff to see how badly I need a shower. The crack is the first to crack so if that’s in bad shape, the rest of you is soon to follow. I like to nip shit in the bud if you catch my drift.
This time things were a bit different because I had cheated. I used a Wet Wipe earlier in the night and had actually cleaned my crack thereby giving my canary in the coal mine an extra life. This time I wasn’t sniffing it to see if I needed a shower. I was sniffing it to see how long the Wet Wipe scam can carry one’s crack. So as I sniff it I think 1. This smells pretty OK and 2. This reminds me of going down on a girl. Now, this is a discovery I don’t think you’re ready for. What is a newly Wet Wiped crack? Well, it’s about as clean as most pussies. Women are very clean and shower every day so the best your crack can possibly get – when you’re cheating, is what their nether regions are usually maintained at. That means, it’s not the pheromones or the womanly chemicals or the pussyness that gives it that curious sweet scent. It’s just the fact that it’s a nether region that’s been sitting in dark pants gathering sweat. Exactly like an ass crack, any ass crack. Can you dig that? I’m saying you could not differentiate between a clean, male ass crack and a normal vagina if subjected to a blind sniff test. That sucks because it means we’re all way closer to Bi than we thought. They say ignorance is bliss and the only thing that consoles me in this new enlightened state of TMI is knowing that I dragged you all down with me.
Sincerely,
Derek Jetter
Dear Derek,
Let’s please set up this test and have you be the guy that does it.
Please?
Sincerely,
SBTVC
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STREET BONER 1127
Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.
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i think you may have the wrong idea, anatomically, of what exactly a pussy is.
or you’ve been exclusively with the infamous back-to-front wiper types.
or you just don’t know a pussy from an asshole. which seems the most likely case.
03.10.09 at 11:02 am
Can’t wait to see you and your pussy smelling ass in prison.
03.10.09 at 11:20 am
i have thought about this before
03.10.09 at 11:46 am
I don’t know if you know that I know this, but girls have ass cracks too. You wouldn’t know it at a cursory sniff, but it’s most likely the real source of the damp funk. Next time give it a slow, linear sniff like you’re sampling a fine cigar and you’ll notice the difference from front to back.
03.10.09 at 11:50 am
I own a pussy and an asscrack, luckily enough, and I know what the former smells like. I just had a shower but I’m pretty sure that if I stick a finger down my crack for a sample later, they will be different.
Cum has a smell. Pussy has a smell. You sound like a virgin.
03.10.09 at 12:04 pm
Sometimes I’m jacking off to some sattelite porn and my ass sweats onto my leather chair and when the parties all over it sort of smells like vaj. True story.
03.10.09 at 12:24 pm
pussies and asses, asses and pussies, meohmyohmeomy,
In your eye, kadickadye, munch munch munch.
03.10.09 at 12:49 pm
lets take it a step further – i have been on the toilet after a large BM, anus still gaping, and i swear it smelled like an open vajeen. i think our insides dont smell all that different.
03.10.09 at 1:22 pm
el monterey frozen bean and cheese burritos smell like vag after microwaving, it’s true. even my girl agreed. after we realized this I felt less like eating them.
03.10.09 at 2:16 pm
You’re a fucking idiot. Even if they smell the same pussy is way, way cooler than your stretched out gay asshole.
03.10.09 at 2:25 pm
sometimes i pull my foreskin back and take a swipe at the smegma and smell it.
03.10.09 at 2:45 pm
My ass sometimes smells like pussy, too.
03.10.09 at 3:50 pm
Sometimes I think my sweaty balls have an odor reminiscent of pussy.
03.10.09 at 4:27 pm
I’m convinced the kid hooked a chip while in-between the cookies and gave it a lick.
03.10.09 at 5:40 pm
Man, clean your fucking cock. Your smegma’d dick is what turns girls off of uncirc’d cocks and as a result they never get to experience the world of uncut wonders and just end up asking me what it’s like. It’s usually great. Except with dirt rats like you. Grow up.
03.10.09 at 6:11 pm
this guy doesnt know his ass from his elbow.
03.10.09 at 6:43 pm
Maybe you have a vaganus?
03.10.09 at 11:09 pm
i agree. i have never been brave enough to admit it, but yes. not every vagina i’ve come across, but some of them.
03.11.09 at 12:20 am
Dude is right.Clean and healthy swimsuit areas smell alike regardles of gender.
03.11.09 at 2:52 am
03.11.09 at 2:57 am
Your ass smells like pussy? I think your confusing the smell of pussy with the smell of aging semen, something commonly found in pussies AND your ass.
03.11.09 at 6:47 am
what’s a shower?
03.11.09 at 3:25 pm
even after i take a shower my ass is still rank. and i think you’re a homo.
03.11.09 at 3:28 pm
mos def a homo.
03.11.09 at 3:30 pm
talcum powder usually works.
03.11.09 at 3:31 pm
^^I think that would just create more smegma.
03.11.09 at 3:38 pm
^^This dude is clearly not uncircumcised but one of those guys who hates circumcised guys because he feels that something was taken from him without his permission as a child and he hears about all this added pleasure bullshit. Poor guy, just reading your comments makes me feel ashamed of being circumcised, myself.
03.11.09 at 4:45 pm