My friend Jizz used to be a bartender at this place called Mike’s in Stillwater, Oklahoma. One night as he was closing down, he was taking out the garbage to the dumpsters. When he got there, he saw this guy just laying there, kind of passed out or whatever and reeking of shit. Not one to miss a golden opportunity, Jizz ran back to the bar, grabbed a car, drove back to the dumpsters and lit the guy with his headlights. With the lighting in place, a camera was produced and this party chief’s special moment was captured forever. We thought about trying to figure out who the guy was, but it kind of slipped our minds and the photo got buried in a hard-drive. I had forgotten all about it until recently, when it surfaced as I was backing up all my data on the old computer. Enjoy.
-VIET DONG
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I’d let this guy drive me home…
04.12.10 at 9:24 am
Wheres the eyebleach?
04.12.10 at 9:39 am
Poor guy. Dick out, shit all over himself, his whole world is whirling out of control at a million MPH. His only defence against the universe is the silent raising of his middle finger.
04.12.10 at 9:41 am
such smooth and supple skin
04.12.10 at 9:43 am
What a weird looking ball sack
04.12.10 at 9:57 am
Yeah, his nuts are getting to me.
04.12.10 at 10:07 am
UGH! What an embarrassment!
04.12.10 at 10:15 am
well, that’s a cartoon-like peen/nutsack combo. i bet he didn’t drink for, like, at least a few days after this
04.12.10 at 10:21 am
And the really great news is that a little shit and dirt smeared into that scrape on his knee should make for a raging infection.
04.12.10 at 10:23 am
Wow, looks like someone just beat the shit out of him! HAHAHAHA
04.12.10 at 10:25 am
before i realized he was flipping the bird, i thought he was pointing at that mess, being all ‘look at this, bitches’…anyway, time to look away
04.12.10 at 10:27 am
he’s good kisser
04.12.10 at 10:46 am
Then he died. Hehe!
04.12.10 at 10:48 am
BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!
04.12.10 at 11:00 am
I think this guy was drunk, but someone kicked him flat out in the nutsack. He’s more in pain than drunk, more shitpantsed than shitfaced.
04.12.10 at 11:00 am
Weirdest genitalia ever. You know this guy has total assholes for friends. Who would let this this happen to a homeboy?
04.12.10 at 11:01 am
Oh, and what the hell kind of nickname is Jizz?
04.12.10 at 11:02 am
@Brownshow, The bartenders last name was Jizlowski or something like that, hence the nickname
04.12.10 at 11:04 am
Lookit that sack. Wow. Dude is swoll.
04.12.10 at 11:46 am
that man has some balls…
I MEAN FUCKIN LOOK AT THOSE MAN GLOBES
epic sack brah
04.12.10 at 11:47 am
it’s like he’s got one ball the size of an ostrich egg. fascinating.
04.12.10 at 12:08 pm
he’s got a sack like a lab rat.
http://www.ratztails.co.uk/attachments/Image/3.JPG
04.12.10 at 12:09 pm
wow. dude needs to get milked or something. those balls are swollen.
04.12.10 at 12:10 pm
i am also very confused by his genitals. tiny penis, massive fucking sack that ALMOST looks like camel toe. fuck.
04.12.10 at 12:20 pm
my god…
04.12.10 at 12:21 pm
Yeah man, he’s got a baby’s tiny-dick-to-giant-sack-ratio…
His ginormous bag is making his lil dizzle look even smaller.
04.12.10 at 12:22 pm
Nutsack freshly shorn.
04.12.10 at 12:39 pm
okie
04.12.10 at 1:20 pm
Those balls are fucking HUGE.
04.12.10 at 1:53 pm
where the fuck are his shoes? i think the opening of terminator would have been alot more realistic and terrifying if kyle riese had landed in the alley, electrical storm and all only to look down and realized he shit himself on reentry.
04.12.10 at 2:15 pm
He has adult sized proportions of a baby. This photo is really interesting.
04.12.10 at 2:39 pm
Stillwater is an incredibly fun place in spite of people like this.
04.12.10 at 2:47 pm
His balls are so intriguing! I really want to know what the hell is going on with that sack?!
04.12.10 at 2:48 pm
the “epic sack brah” comment is really funny
04.12.10 at 2:50 pm
oh my god, somebody kill him.
04.12.10 at 3:52 pm
i guess it’s the symbol of something deep and meaningful
04.12.10 at 4:01 pm
even blobfish is nonplussed.
04.12.10 at 4:09 pm
he shaved his manhood to make his penis look larger.
04.12.10 at 5:32 pm
looks like a fratboy gg allin
04.12.10 at 6:42 pm
fuck yeah, mikes. haven’t thought about that place in years
04.12.10 at 6:56 pm
i just feel sad for the homeless person whose bed he shit in.
04.12.10 at 6:59 pm
I believe this is photoshopped.
04.12.10 at 8:29 pm
I don’t know what’s weirdest. The shit, the scrotum or the nickname.
04.12.10 at 9:46 pm
I just asked Jizz about it. He said that initially he was sympathetic. He asked the guy if he needed help or if there was anyone he could call. The guy was being a prick and told Jizz to fuck himself so Jizz went and got the all the other bartenders and proceeded to light him up and take photographs.
04.12.10 at 10:30 pm
obviously the guy just got raped up the ass. duh. if he’d been prepared for it, he’dve douched.
04.13.10 at 12:35 am
Yaaaaaa right.
04.13.10 at 2:07 am
for all we know this is just him and what he does every weekend ,and he thinks
we’re the ones with shit all over ourselves
04.14.10 at 6:22 pm