Photographers are all over my school. It’s the new cool job and not only can anyone do it, but everybody does it.
Look at the faces these fuckers are making. The facial gesture says they’re not comfortable when someone points a camera in their direction so they throw up some quick smirk of bewilderment.
The girl pictured above has the most genuine appearance in facial honesty knowing that photography isn’t really a true art form. The kid with the photo-lens-fanny pack has come to terms with this. While he knocked back his coffee trying to ignore me, I crept around to get a better angle for a second photo. Then he turned his lens right at me causing an impulse of light from the flash of my shit box camera that ruined the photo. This is a trick I did not know. Same goes for stop signs.
The black guy’s face screams idiot confidence. In his mind he thinks “the art” of photography is a concept that “non-creative people” can’t grasp. He has yet to come to terms with the simple notions of point and shoot, use the light to your advantage and always remember to take the lens cap off. I can’t blame the guy’s confidence but the girl he was taking photos of would of(did)made me have the stupidest, sloppiest dopey-grinning drip from me too drool.
This kid looks likes he’s kissing a girl, has ear plugs in and four arm bands. I was forced to hang out with him. He was a true weirdo: a person who tries to act normal but behind closed doors lets the freak out to cater to his spoiled reality. (This kid can also be seen in the background of the update to streetboner #284. I think he was creeping around the ladies I was trying to photograph.)
I was staying with the girl he’s chatting with in the photo for SXSW. He asked my permission if she could go home with him and if I would like to sleep on his couch. I told him he had better have some goddamn beer. “Yeah that sounds like a great idea you hell of a gentlemen you. I just sleep on this couch while you raw dog my drunk-ass friend, good idea, I’m totally down.”
Instead, me and the girl kidnapped some kid from a band and kept ‘em up all night. He arrived late to his hotel for the 11:am checkout. The kid had to then ride in a van with his band of about 10 for 18 hours straight to Ohio. The poor fucker. I kinda felt bad about that one. He wasn’t quite weirded out enough with us insisting that he “take what the doctor prescribed,” so I videotaped the whole ordeal to make him feel better. For some reason strangers don’t like to be videotaped.
I don’t even want to get into the smug looks of the last two characters. I’d rather not look at them but they go with the theme. It looks like the world hasn’t kicked’em hard enough in the nuts yet, or shit, maybe they know too much. Anyhoo, look at that girl that buddy was taking photos of. I don’t remember what she had on under that shirt. I think I got a peek though. I can’t remember much these days.
Best regards,
MLK
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STREET BONER 1127
Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.
Bad Behavior has blocked 4406 access attempts in the last 7 days.
the term ‘photographer’ has so much less value than it used to, mainly because most of the idiots you meet claim to be one
07.29.08 at 1:10 pm
C’mon, can’t you guys get Goad to look over these things for you before they go live?
“would of”
“I can’t blame the kids confidence”
I’m not even finished with this thing.
07.29.08 at 1:31 pm
“a person who trys to act”
07.29.08 at 1:32 pm
Hey, I’d love to edit this shit, but it’d cut seriously into the time I spend devaluing and hating “the other.”
07.29.08 at 1:48 pm
you called that black girl “smug”. I’d say that she is “hhhhot”
07.29.08 at 2:02 pm
fuck you
07.29.08 at 2:47 pm
Dear sir,
Won’t you do us all a solid and sick to what you’re good at, grammar and social commentaries are sadly not you’re strong point. There are a lot of lonely men out there whose dicks aren’t going to suck themselves.
peace out.
07.29.08 at 4:05 pm
“There are these kids at my school that take pictures and they’re kind of smug better get back at them through the internet GARR PHOTOGRAPHY IS A JOKE!!” Retard.
07.29.08 at 4:27 pm
someone needs to kick that second to last motherfucker in the chin. judging by his pube goatee, that’s where his nuts are.
07.29.08 at 5:13 pm
jem:
What is my STRONG point?
A.K.A. what am i good at
07.29.08 at 5:48 pm
Oh very clever, you retag the entry “Dear Street Carnage” and suddenly the blame for all the glaring mistakes are laid at the feet of some other guy. Excuse me, “The Other.”
07.29.08 at 6:18 pm
Didn’t Scar Jo sum it up in Lost in Translation. “I went through that stage every girl goes through, being artsy, taking pictures of my feet, etc” Now dudes are doing it hoping to get tail like they’re cobrasnake or Terry. Any monkey can press a button.
LAME.
07.29.08 at 6:29 pm
Ain’t digital photography great? Fucking Cobramistake. My (film [pretentious ass that I am]) camera has been sitting in a drawer out in the garage for the last two years due to this crazy, new sensation! And, while I’m at it, as lame as everything hipster/alt is, why do the party pic sites keep coming?
07.29.08 at 7:01 pm
I’ll bring your friend back to my place.
07.29.08 at 7:05 pm
Hey, there, yowchy-boy!
Cool your jets. Pull your thumb out of your ass. Take your shoes off. Sit a spell. I’m not this site’s curator. The only articles I see before they go “live” are my own.
07.29.08 at 7:57 pm
Mr. Kilby,
Something tells me you’re not the most perceptive, nor the most adept at FINISHING A FUCKING PARAGRAPH.
Figure it out.
07.29.08 at 9:22 pm
It seems like the person who wrote this had to take all these pictures. Didn’t they have to take the picture for the Street Boner 284 too? Thats a lot of picture-taking for someone who doesn’t like people who take pictures.
07.29.08 at 10:17 pm
oh, i get it, i’m good at sucking dicks
07.30.08 at 1:16 am
why are we so angry?
07.30.08 at 1:39 am
The only TRUE art form is ripping people a new asshole via internet blog.
07.30.08 at 4:10 am
The best part about this post is that it’s completely preoccupied with deriding photography as art and is yet is FULL of absolutely terrible photographs.
07.30.08 at 5:27 am
GUYS PHOTOGRAPHY IS A JOKE LEMME TELL YOU HERE I’LL PROVE IT TO YOU BY TAKING A BUNCH OF PICTURES OF HIPSTERS WITH RED EYE
07.30.08 at 5:32 am
This is where we plucked him out of society, Watch it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2u4xYGlFuw
This is what the band he’s in (The Hot Rails) sounds like, Listen to it!
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=223561099
This is his mug shot, Look at it!
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=2451774
07.30.08 at 6:59 am
I remember when poetry used to be the most abused artform.
07.30.08 at 9:41 am
shiiiiiit. i go to this school. but i’m not a photographer. and that girl at the top is seriously fucking annoying.
11.19.08 at 3:52 pm
Hey alexandria what school is this?
11.19.08 at 6:07 pm
university of georgia. at least the top two are in athens.
12.05.08 at 1:40 am