I want to do a sex advice column for you guys. I’d be really good at it too, because I never get laid and am in a long-term relationship. Let me know.
Sincerely,
Drew

Dear Drew,
OK let’s do a dry run. I feel like it’s hard to make my girlfriend cum because she has a small clit. Is that true?
Sincerely,
SBTVC

Dear Test Question,
Wow I wish I had your problems. Or rather your girlfriend’s problems, because god forbid my boyfriend ever bothered going down/fingering me on anything other than Purim (like, coincidentally it just happens to be that time every year, I doubt it has anything to do with the holiday), I would be writhing around like a dog in heat. I’d be busy faking that shit so hard I’d make the lady next to me ask the waiter for what I’m having.

In conclusion, no it’s not because she has a small clit. It’s because you’re fucking doing it wrong. Try really digging your tongue in there like that shit is a pomegranate seed stuck in your back molar.

HTH (hope that helps)
-Drew

Dear Drew,
Good shit. I thought you were a dude. Got any more links?
SBTVC

Dear Street Carnage,
Ha, most people do. Well, I write most of the stuff over at Jossip.com, but let me find you some particularly good stuff.
Jossip
Black20
236
-Drew

Dear Drew,
Sold. Send a pic for the Aboot page.
SBTVC

Dear Street Carnage,
Here.

Drew.

Dear Readers,
Send sex questions to the “contact” email on the homepage.
SBTVC

  1. DEAR DREW: DO YOU PEOPLE WANT YOUR SEX LIVES RIDICULED OR NOT?
  2. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: DEAR DREW
  3. DEAR STREET CARNAGE,: I POO’D A “G”

This entry was posted on 02.12.09 at 10:26 am by SBTVC . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
23 Comments
  1. Bad News Blues Says:

    No blog link?

    http://videodrew.blogspot.com/

    Good Cronenberg reference and weird photos.


  2. tits Says:

    it’s a sex column so all your pics should be of you having sex, or just of your tits/vag


  3. Please god no Says:

    Wow, some homely bitch is vulgar, let’s all go out of our way to make her feel famous.


  4. just a cunt hair away Says:

    wow- so SBTVC is gonna be sucky like vice soon? great.


  5. dick buttkiss Says:

    I like her. Anyway, I never get laid and am not in a long term relationship, maybe I could provide the male perspective?


  6. chestal Says:

    she doesn’t get laid? wtf? did men in new york forgot how to use their dicks?


  7. Minstrel Blood Says:

    Holy shit! This new column is as original as a cynical comment.


  8. blood orange Says:

    i would make pasta for her


  9. Who Dat Ninja? Says:

    I didn’t read anything she wrote. The picture sold me. Fantastic job, SBTVC. Great hire.


  10. Ol' Dirty Bosnian Says:

    Dear Drew,

    I have an 8″ dick but never get laid. What should I do?


  11. drew Says:

    put er right here.. In Between!

    (my titz)


  12. videodrew Says:

    @drew: oh come now. Everyone knows I spell tits with two zz’s. Titzz


  13. thefatdudefromlost Says:

    so, yeah. score.


  14. totesintotits Says:

    sick boobs


  15. ewish new year Says:

    jew tits!!


  16. beej Says:

    ow ten motherfucking points! you’re hired! god-damn, good score sbttvccvbfv.


  17. Sploink Says:

    Jits?


  18. hey, i know you! Says:

    overachiever! didn’t know it’s even possible to have energy to write after all the work you do for Jossip. can’t wait to read your shit. i have way too many questions to ever be cool already.


  19. friedrich von schiller Says:

    probably the reason why you don’t get laid is because you spend too much time in front of a monitor. if i saw you in the library or at the market i’d write you a letter and drop it off on your table saying let’s get drunk with each other and read some henry miller.


  20. 123kid Says:

    i fucked a tranny does that make me gay? even though i hate fags?


  21. STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE » CLEANING HOUSE Says:

    [...] Grant Drew sent us a message about contributing and has been dishing out advice on how to be/not be a skank ever since. Send her [...]


  22. Zlur Says:

    I just did a long sigh.

    I fucking lonng on.

    Knowhatimean?


  23. Zlur Says:

    As anyone noticed how hard it is to type wasted?

    Phew.


Leave a Reply

STREET CARNAGE RADIO 03.19.10
BUZZCOCKS

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

STREET BONER 1127

Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.

★★★★★★★★★☆

ENLARGE

STREET BONER 1126

“Wiggers” is a mean word that stings like a motherfucker but, somehow, “Bonkies” doesn’t pack the same wallop.

★★★★★★★★☆☆

STREET BONER 1125

Pulling back your sleeve to show your tattoos seems queer but that’s what tattoos are: accessories.

★★★★★★★½☆☆

STREET BONER 1124

You may have noticed there’s a lot of music industry chicks at SXSW all dressed up with no interest in you whatsoever. You may have also noticed you’re not in a band.

★★★★★★★½☆☆


Bad Behavior has blocked 4426 access attempts in the last 7 days.