Am I the only person who hates having to crap immediately after jumping out of the shower? This just happened to me and was wondering if anybody else felt the same way. It seems ideal to shit before you shower but sometimes the timing is not correct, then you have to sit on the bowl all slippery like and your asshole starts out wet so then when it comes time to wipe it seems impossible which might even lead some to jump back IN the shower, its a pain in the ass.
Nick
P.S. Ive also been shitting entirely naked my whole life which I also don’t get, and even go as far as removing the floor mat my feet are on if I’m taking a long one, what am I trying to accomplish?
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Get some Pampers wet wipes. This will solve your ass wiping issue. The naked thing may be treated with medication or intensive psychotherapy.
08.19.08 at 12:29 pm
I almost always remove my shirt when sh!tting, which, when combined with the dropped pants, makes me effectively nude. I do this to avoid getting shit on the tail of my shirt. Its never happened, but for some reason I’m always afraid that it will. Also totally with you on the sh!ttiness of sh!tting after a shower. Ruins my day.
08.19.08 at 12:33 pm
do you have to be naked in public restrooms too?
08.19.08 at 12:53 pm
I’m a reshowerer. Even if I’m running late. Just jump back in and take care of affected area. The worst is when the shit comes just minutes after you’ve finished showering, dressing, hair, etc. Because, yeah, wet wipes are cool and all, but it’s just that knowing you aren’t 100% clean that really fucks the day. Who knows, it may be that very day you meet some girl who unexpectedly wants to eat your ass a little during some miraculous foreplay.
08.19.08 at 1:06 pm
Rwwwwaaaaaghhhrrrrr.
08.19.08 at 1:16 pm
fuck yes gi joe ninja tattoo
08.19.08 at 1:26 pm
it’s all about scheduling. i have my body trained to know that i will wake up, shit, then shower every morning. that’s just how it has to work.
08.19.08 at 2:00 pm
You got the slippery part down. It sucks. Must shower afterwards, though, regardless of how late I am. Can’t walk around with debris, real or imagined.
You take off your clothes in an attempt to make the profane sacred. Does it work? If so, enjoy! I notice in the picture you’re rocking socks AND have your feet on a mat. What gives?
08.19.08 at 2:13 pm
my problem is that I start the water for a shower and then I have to poop, but I’ve already got the water a good temperature so I don’t wanna shut it off, so I poop real quick, but then I don’t wanna flush because it will fuck up the temperature of the water in the shower, but I don’t wanna have to look at my gross turds when I get out so I put down the toilet lid. by the time my shower is over, I’ve forgotten there are unflushed turds in the toilet and leave the bathroom, then my roomate yells at me for not flushing my poop. it happens every time.
08.19.08 at 3:50 pm
DEAR NICK,
YOU ARE A RETARDED.
LOVE,
SHITCOCK
08.19.08 at 3:54 pm
Awesome Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow tattoo!
Shit before you shower and clean whatever you may have missed with the TP.
08.19.08 at 4:05 pm
butchie Says:
08.19.08 at 12:29 pm
Get some Pampers wet wipes. This will solve your ass wiping issue.
– Yes. I don’t understand why people still use toilet paper in their homes.
08.19.08 at 4:43 pm
i’m really excited to know dudes are keeping things ship shape down south! good work!
08.19.08 at 5:10 pm
Hi tech japanese toilets solve this problem. The Kansai Airport hotel in Osaka has these wonders of shitting technology. Spray nozzles aimed from areas that allow for the most effective geometry of fire, or in this case water. The water’s intensity can be adjusted as well as its temperature. Simply move your a-hole to allow for maximum dung cleaning. You can take the nastiest, jet lagged, 14 hours of sitting, sludge of a shit and still feel that shower fresh feeling afterwards.
08.19.08 at 11:59 pm
Do you still have to wipe if you shit before taking a shower?
08.20.08 at 12:56 am
if you don’t wipe before taking a shower you got to have one of those detachable shower head things so you can biffy and jiffy that shit. even if you can direct the spray up, after getting out of this straight shit to shower shower, chances are if you do one a those interior wipes i.e. the kind where you have to fingertip yourself to deturd the inside rim, you will see brown or in Nick’s case red or in my case green.
best thing to do is shit and do a minor wipe to get off the chunks of gristle then shower and go get rimmed in such cleanliness that your hooker will confuse your anus with a double cream dipped ballsack. if you have to shit after the shower, jump back in for 30 seconds it’s not that inconvenient. the wet wipes thing is controversial, I got some at home kind of tucked out of the way cos I don’t want to live like an animal but I also don’t want my friends touching the pack with their shitty hands and then have that thing marinate in my bathroom and steam around shit particulate
there’s no way this guy shits ‘entirely naked’ anywhere but his own house. in public washrooms sometimes there ain’t even a hook man. what and you take off your socks and shoes and let your feet plop into a gritty puddle of piss
08.20.08 at 8:51 am
Oh, O.K. Thanks for clearing that up, count brad lee. My second question (I am a very difident shitter): Is it better to clump or fold the toilet paper? I tend to clump because hey, there is no use in being pretty when that stuff is just going to touch your ass.
08.20.08 at 10:06 am
it’s been said before, but awesome gi joe tattoo, that’s the symbol for the arashikage ninja clan that snake eyes and stormshadow belonged to…
08.20.08 at 10:45 am
its the worst when you get little tiny pieces of poop lodged in your luffa, do you throw it away or just pretend its not there next time?
08.20.08 at 12:22 pm
Oh hell no, you throw that shit out
08.20.08 at 5:30 pm
Thats not me in the picture but I’m sure the guy loves his ninja tattoo. And, I definitely remove the mat and never wear socks, The socks are like the first to go.
08.21.08 at 3:43 pm
# panda force Says:
08.20.08 at 12:56 am
Do you still have to wipe if you shit before taking a shower?
– Of course. You don’t want shit all over your washcloth and shower.
08.23.08 at 12:58 am
what are you retarded? drink some fucking coffee, wait til it hits… then shower. who the fuck doesn’t know this already?
08.23.08 at 4:15 pm
my brother and i both teach in busan, korea and some of the subway stations in this city have only the mini bathtub-looking floor hole. no bowl. i’ve had some freaky cliffhangers where i’m not sure on my squat position and i’m worried that i’m shitting directly into my bumfled clothes. it could be congenital retardation, but my brother says that he avoids this stress by going porky pig. IN A NASTY ASIAN STALL WHERE YOU’RE MEANT TO SHIT INTO A HOLE IN THE GROUND.
08.24.08 at 5:28 am
This isn’t a streetboner entry, this a Seinfeld ep.
12.10.08 at 7:32 pm