I’m always surprised by how boring it is to be in outer space. Whenever I watch earth shows with people in fancy costumes running around and killing aliens, I have to laugh. You all have no idea what the day-to-day is like up here. It’s a slog. It’s hot. The food sucks. And the hours, well, there are no hours. You just work until sleep is more appealing, then you lie down on the floor ’til you wake up. Sound fun? There’s no hot women with three green tits. There’s no sex at all. Just logging, maintenance, and reporting back to the main base that, once again, there’s nothing to report. As a great man once said, “I miss my wife — it’s lonely out in space.”
Wish you were here,
Joe
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Can you here farts in space?
10.19.09 at 2:27 pm
no you can’t hear farts in space as you are in a space suit so when you’re in space the whole thing works like a big dutch oven on yourself.
also space owns
10.19.09 at 2:46 pm
Bill Shatner would disagree.
10.19.09 at 4:31 pm
Is outer space as boring as your article?
10.19.09 at 4:50 pm
also there is no sound in a vacuum
10.19.09 at 5:04 pm
Whoa! You were in space dude?! That is so fucking cool!
I hope it wasn’t one of those lousy ass economy packages because those motherfucking bastards don’t hand out shit!
No fucking peanuts!
No cute and tiny fucking pillows!
AND, they just drop you off on some goddamned forsaken place where there’s NO 1970’s Italian speaking alien sluts that only wear lavender plush space boots that stretch all the way up the wazoo!
AND there’s NO SMOKING!
Heh, heh. Uh, It’s not like I would know what all that stuff is about really. I think I just overheard about it somewheres or glanced by some brochures once on my way to …It’s not like I’m stuck out here in this goddamn lifelessness all alone, just waiting to hump the next thing that walks on two legs!….Uh, wait a sec. There’s something moving way out there..What is that?
10.19.09 at 6:06 pm
how awesome would it be to use your farts to propel you around the spaceship? “main thrusters, fire!”
10.19.09 at 6:06 pm
Did anyone ever make a porno in zero gravity?
10.19.09 at 6:57 pm
MORE SPACE PORN
LESS SPACE BORE
10.19.09 at 11:24 pm
http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/why-street-carnage-currently-sucks/
10.20.09 at 8:44 am
I saw rock-climbing porn on youporn once. It was rad.
10.20.09 at 1:22 pm
Damn rock climbing sex sounds like a good idea.
I’ve only had a blow job while driving but rock climbing sex is next.
10.20.09 at 5:32 pm