I was surprised by how irritating I found your post about the birds to be. I hate you “cidiots” who summer up here in the country and walk around wondering what the fuck a robin is, but I didn’t know I hate you THAT much.
Here’s the deal with the shit-smearing lunatic bird you are so worried about: First, it’s a robin. Second, robins do pretty good with egg laying. They raise 3 broods a year so the fact that you saw one egg lying there, “dead” is no biggie. Like if Kate Gosselin had a miscarriage. I’m sure she wasn’t thrilled about the banging and the punching and the lights and the noise but once the eggs are laid, there’s not much that can go wrong outside of predators eating them. The shit you saw all over the walls was from the babies. They obviously don’t want shit piling up in the nest so they take it to the walls. (They don’t drop it on the floor because that would tell predators where they are.) The fact that there was so much of it shows she had quite the healthy brood. When you saw her sitting erect in her nest, I’m sure she was concerned about her babies but everything obviously worked out and now they’re gone. The other nests you see were probably from last year.
These are the kind of things us country folk learn when we’re about 5. The fact that you assumed the bird shared characteristics of your drug-addled peers shows how disgusting and pathetic your city life is. Please stay there.
Sincerely,
Mark
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STREET BONER 1118
Just to be clear, this is not a hole in her tights. It’s a hole in the ass-time continuum that will swallow your entire paycheck if you go near it.
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lulz.
08.06.09 at 11:09 am
What predators do Robin’s nests have? Lizards? What North American animal is going to climb a tree and eat their eggs? A hawk? A raccoon? Why not just shit off the edge of the nest. Nobody’s going to “give a shit.”
08.06.09 at 11:11 am
We think animals are crazy when they smear shit on a wall.
They probably think the same thing about us when they see us putting shit up our noses.
08.06.09 at 11:26 am
yeah, Mark, why don’t you and the rest of your “country folk” go fuck yourself you uppidity inbred. Motherfuckers do not learn that shit when they’re five, you’re just a birdie blow-hard.
08.06.09 at 11:45 am
I have baby birds on my front porch behind a gargoyle. Cute!
08.06.09 at 12:19 pm
Dang you city folk with your fancy Nintendos and toilet paper.
08.06.09 at 12:27 pm
Cidiots! Luv it.
Fishers, martens, skunks, racoons, squirrels and house cats will all raid nests. Crows love robin eggs too.
Did you know that birding has taken over from gardeing as the new yuppie/hipster hobby of choice?
08.06.09 at 12:51 pm
Will you marry me, Mark?
08.06.09 at 1:32 pm
this was fucking awesome! 10 points.
08.06.09 at 1:57 pm
I grew up on a farm and I didn’t know any of that shit. Calm yo’ self bra!
08.06.09 at 4:26 pm
# deet Says:
08.06.09 at 1:57 pm
this was fucking awesome! 10 points.”
I’d like to say it was motherfucking awesome and give it 15 pints (sic)
08.06.09 at 6:32 pm
To shit off the nest, the bird would have to turn it’s back to all approaching prey. Think logic.
08.06.09 at 7:41 pm
best post ever on SC.
08.06.09 at 8:58 pm
I like all the sock puppets on here.
Mark is a little too pissed off and sounds like a little whiny baby. I don’t think the actual point of the previous article was about Robins. I think it was more about “shit rubbing is a big part of mental breakdowns.” Amirite?
08.07.09 at 2:52 am
Pigeons aren’t careful at all about where they shit, yet they thrive, in city and country alike. That tells me that Robins are comparatively super-anal about their poop. Total nutjobs.
08.07.09 at 9:45 am
the thing about country folk is they’re alright with insects crawling all over them, in fact they put beetles in their jap’s eyes and worms in their beavers.. they are all earwig fuckers who don’t understand how to behave in a park or around people they don’t know among almost everything else
I hate the countryside so much
I hate the contraflow so much
I hate the countryside so much
I hate the contraflow so much
08.07.09 at 11:00 pm
…and by the way, gorilla’s chew their cud. It wasn’t stir crazy, it was doing its thing.
08.09.09 at 4:28 am
I hate countryfolk
08.09.09 at 8:46 pm
Right on, Mark.
08.09.09 at 10:12 pm