Photographs by Garret Miller

I am sitting here with the World’s Tallest Man. He has just been awarded the prize by Guinness Book, I guess. He is in town from Turkey looking for a wife. His name is Sultan. He has never been outside of Turkey before.

He is getting some custom jeans, his first pair, from these tailors I partner with, Against Nature. The measurements from his belly button, around his crotch, and up to his ass crack is 39″. I don’t know if that would help any women decide to marry him or not. His hands are 27.5 cm.

The guy is 27 and is eager to meet girls now that he is famous. He has one 5 foot nothing blonde gal pal that Guinness seems to have hired to be his escort/companion in America. It sounds like they are taking him on a Sasha Baron-Cohen like tour of the States trying to find him a wife and partying.

The previous supposed World’s Tallest Man refused to be measured. This guy was happy to take the crown so he could be first flown to London then New York, where I suppose he thinks women are less “scared of” him.

-j.

PS. He is actually a sweet dude. Likes to say “cool”.

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This entry was posted on 09.22.09 at 9:00 am by SBTVC . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
16 Comments
  1. todd Says:

    looks like he’s about to buttfuck one of those jonas brothers he’s standing with


  2. Vegan Jules Says:

    Send him to Jen and get him all Hipstered up. Come on we gotta make this happen!


  3. L. Says:

    What was his inseam? Jean nerds need to know…


  4. biff Says:

    he probably needs a crutch just for the old chap.


  5. fredMS Says:

    lol the alt giant. like the iron giant, but better.


  6. a4awesome Says:

    Holy hell – his fingers would pulverize all va-jay-jays!!


  7. EXT Says:

    george murison


  8. dry rub Says:

    omg his real hands look bigger than those foam hulk hands you used to see at toy stores


  9. felicia Says:

    His hand is waaaaaaaay bigger than that dudes head. so amazing.

    Really amazingly tall. he can pretty much rest his dick on everyones shoulders.


  10. lauren Says:

    Jen are you fucking serious?! i would of ran into you AGAIN if i wasn’t so fucking lame and went home that day.. my friend chloe interns there.!


  11. teenagewizard Says:

    is the store called “against nature”??????????? hah


  12. cateyebel Says:

    His hands are HUGE!


  13. Ed Lister Says:

    You didn’t mention anything about howt he is always tired due to some thyroid condition and can’t move around without the help of crutches. He would suck the party with, just one big, slow lump of meat that is always complaining he wants to go to bed.

    I see him as like a one use toothbrush or a hotel soap – a disposable genie giant that will grant you one wish before his energy is spent. For example you could get him to pull down a fence at a music festival so you could all rush in or use him like a battering ram and a club to charge the door like a bull, knocking over the bouncers… Something like that.


  14. Ed Lister Says:

    at a club*


  15. mr.meat Says:

    Nice thoughts there Lister,
    He should stay in New York for a while, even though I am sure the morning entertainmentnewstalkshow he was probably on only booked him for a couple days stay- at most.
    It would be like old times.


  16. Dork Says:

    He looks like an enormous, slightly skewed Scott Baio. Also, things tend to be proportional. Yikes!

    In my professional opinion, I say take him to Texas to get a girlfriend, as I’ve heard that everything is bigger there.


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STREET BONER 1681

Looks like Dora the Explorer is all growed up and ready to party!

★★★★★★★★☆☆

STREET BONER 1680

This is just as ridiculous as BeyoncĂ© doing shampoo ads for “blondes.”

★★★★★★★★★☆

STREET BONER 1679

Meet the exception to the “Women are attracted to confidence” rule.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

STREET BONER 1678

When I’m mayor, brass knuckles will no longer be illegal but short hair and flats will.

★★★★★★★★☆☆