STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE » DEAR STREET CARNAGE: VINTAGE LOVE/PORN LETTERS

DEAR STREET CARNAGE: VINTAGE LOVE/PORN LETTERS

I found a stack of these vintage love/porn letters from 1986. So, what do you think? Should I send one in each week? Others contain a mention of an 11″ cock (yeah, right!) and one contains song lyrics (awkward!). Also, they named her vag (Monique) and his dick (Alfred) and her boobs (I forget). It seems he is from the “kiss on the forehead” school of foreplay, just like my first boyfriend. Gah.

Love,
Dork

Dear Dork,
You can never have enough material to simultaneously laugh at and jerk off to. Send it all over.
-SBTVC

This entry was posted on 09.14.09 at 9:00 am by SBTVC . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.

9 Comments

j-hala Says:

sounds like dude is in prison or the military…he’s a smooth operator in any case. lots and lots of game homie.

09.14.09 at 9:11 am
Z for Zimmerman Says:

This was clearly written by Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I def. didn’t need to read him describing how much he’s gonna cum in his girlfriend followed by a solid crying jag while he’s writing it though.

Those better be some fat hairy tits to be named Ralph and Louie.

09.14.09 at 10:04 am
har har Says:

letters were the mad-note back in the day.

09.14.09 at 10:05 am
lionel hutts Says:

squirt.

09.14.09 at 3:25 pm
HotTom Says:

my grade 5 teacher use to write me similar notes

09.14.09 at 4:19 pm
Beefhello Says:

I love the cross section view the author included just in case you didn’t quite get it. Why does the woman’s insides look like a bunch of grapes? Squiirrrttttt!

09.14.09 at 4:49 pm
Sam Says:

Where the hell did you find those!?

09.14.09 at 4:53 pm
Dork Says:

^^ On the floor of an abandoned building. I picked out the best ones & there are 8 more cumming!

09.14.09 at 6:43 pm
Dork Says:

Oh, and the bunch of grapes is actually a penis shoting its wad outside the vagina with a big NO symbol. I studied it intensively! The other illustration is how he is going to stick it to her. Hubba.

09.14.09 at 6:47 pm

STREET BONER 1127

Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.

ENLARGE

E-mail it! | 18 Comments

STREET BONER 1126

“Wiggers” is a mean word that stings like a motherfucker but, somehow, “Bonkies” doesn’t pack the same wallop.

E-mail it! | 14 Comments

STREET BONER 1125

Pulling back your sleeve to show your tattoos seems queer but that’s what tattoos are: accessories.

E-mail it! | 19 Comments

STREET BONER 1124

You may have noticed there’s a lot of music industry chicks at SXSW all dressed up with no interest in you whatsoever. You may have also noticed you’re not in a band.

E-mail it! | 15 Comments

STREET CARNAGE is mostly a website that features street fashion critiques called STREET BONERS and compilations of bad television called TV CARNAGE. The site also has a blog, a radio show, and regularly features video shorts made by Gavin and Derrick.

STREET CARNAGE is also a live presentation you can have in your town where Gavin shows a Street Boners "Best Of" and Derrick shows his latest TV Carnage endeavors.

STREET BONERS will eventually be compiled into a huge book which will feature hundreds of pages of Boners as well as contributions from Chloe Sevigny, Debbie Harry, Fred Armisen, Tim & Eric and many more.

Derrick makes videos for various bands as well as his own movies. His most recent project is called "Cop Movie" and is comprised of about three dozen different cop movies and he also has a workout video coming out that is made up of a million disgusting workout tapes. Gavin does freelance writing for TV, film and magazines and they both do funny acting stuff as well as other hilarious video shit we'll tell you about later. They are both dicks.

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