Until a month ago I didn’t know who the hell Kim Kardashian was or much less that she had a sex tape. As of last night, I and my cock now know about her sex tape. There are a few lessons for me and my lady to learn from this ever so terribly faked flick.
First:
Kim Kardashian knows how to suck a dick. She’s got both hands in there, going back and forth, mouth on the tip, not constantly using the hands though, moaning and shit while she does it, like she’s actually enjoying sucking your ugly ass dick. Please dear, I know you’ve never sucked a cock before (and you say you will mine) so don’t let me down.
Second:
Ray-J sounds fucking disgusting when he’s licking clits and lips. So disgusting that I in fact lost my boner during this part of the flick. Which brings me back to a recent incident: Dear, I’ll go down on you (mainly hoping that you’ll be quicker to return the favor), but if your vagina ever burns my tongue again, we’re done. Seriously. What the fuck was that? Did you eat an entire case of limes and wash it down with battery acid? Good god.
Third:
Exaggeration and/or faking can be good to an extent. Who doesn’t love the occasional dirty talk. Like when your girls suckin’ it good and stops for just one sloppy second to pause and say, “I want you to cum in my mouth.” Well fuck yes, so do I! And no one wants to knock boots with a girl who just lies there and gives the occasional low moan. I’ve got to know if you like it, so fucking tell me. Don’t be afraid, I want scratch marks. You don’t have to be all screaming and shit, but at least moan at a decibel above an ant crawling and just around that of a dog barking. Now Kim Kardashian, that bitch goes nuts and obviously fakes more than I’d like. I’m not saying be Kim Kardashian, but give us more than Hellen Keller.
-DG
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I think ray j socks was the best part, get butt ass naked but lets make sure toes is warm.
09.24.09 at 9:35 am
Haven’t seen the video (she’s gross-o) but guessing from the photo I’m glad I didn’t watch…bra ON during fuckin? Are you kidding me? NEXT!
09.24.09 at 9:55 am
She has to best looking pussy EVER
09.24.09 at 10:12 am
My first girlfriend’s pussy tasted like a 9-volt. It was gnarly.
09.24.09 at 10:32 am
This vid is all class. Yeah boy-ee!!!!
http://hiphopruckus.com/2009/08/ray-j-and-kim-kardashian-tape.html/
09.24.09 at 10:41 am
I too am anti-black and anti-british when it comes to male porn stars. Their stupid babbling turns my cock right off. I know there has to be a cock in there, but mute douche bags only please.
09.24.09 at 11:00 am
Too bad she got those ass implants- BONER-KILL BALOONS
09.24.09 at 12:27 pm
Insanely bad post. Total filler.
09.24.09 at 12:55 pm
deaf people must make the most ridiculas sounds during sex.
And theyll be mad loud since they cant hear themselves……… wierd..
09.24.09 at 1:28 pm
like a nine volt. heheheheh.
09.24.09 at 9:00 pm
O please. To all your dumb comments about what a woman should do to make you feel good: Hit it rite and we won’t have to fake it!!!
11.02.09 at 2:59 pm
arent we all looking dead center into that shadowy crevasse not totally sure if we’re looking at his dick or not?
02.17.10 at 3:14 am