Dear Street Carnage,
Someone decided to fuck with the site and this comes up under my IP.
“You were told to stop promoting your awful blog.”
Sincerely,
Pinky Carnage

Dear Street Carnage,
I have streetbonersandtvcarnage.com set to be one of the home pages on my web browser, but today when I went to check it, instead of the normal page loading, it said “You were told repeatedly to stop promoting your awful blog.” or something like that. What’s up? Was I banned for somehow promoting a blog? I don’t post anything on the site (no comments, nothing), I just read stuff and check the Street Boners. Or was this someone hazzzxcazczxing you guys? I’m concerned.
“David \”David Murray\” Murray

Dear Street Carnage,
I only see a message stating that I’ve been “asked numerous times to stop promoting my awful blog”, yet I don’t have a “blog”, never have had one nor do I intend to have a “blog” at any point in the future as I’m sure it would indeed be awful. I seldom ever post comments on SB, and I use my real first name on the occasion that I do.
Please tell me how I might go about getting myself un-banned. I’d rather die on my feet than live life without boners.
Thanks.
Michael

Dearest Street Carnage,
I’m a huge fan and I read your stupid/awesome website pretty much every day. Yesterday I was apparently banned, and now I get this message: You were told repeatedly to stop promoting your awful blog. when I try to access the site. I have three problems with this situation: 1) I haven’t promoted my blog.. or, rather, I did enter its URL into the massage box twice, but that was weeks ago, and I stopped of my own accord because I realized the classinessless-ism of it all. A spammer I am not. 2) Nobody told me, especially not repeatedly, to stop. I just stopped anyway, because I’m cool like that. and 3) The adjective ‘awful’ is inadequate to describe my blog (”masturbatory”, “immature”, “scatterbrained”, “narcissistic”, “vaguely amusing in the way that secretly spying on the mentally ill is amusing” would have convinced me) so you must have mistaken my IP for someone lamer.
Please un-ban me, I can’t live without you and your weird-assed moustache.
Love,
Christopher Reynolds

Dear Street Carnage,
When you go on the streetboners website today you get a message that says, “You were told repeatedly to stop promoting your awful blog”. I guess this means they’ve been HACKED (dun dun dun!), although I’m not certain because I don’t understand the logistics of hacking. If they did and someone deleted everything and put that message up then DUDE, that is pretty brutal. Brutal but exciting! Internet war! Maybe Vice did it! Like I said, I don’t really understand hacking.
At school they used to be incredibly sincere about the crippling importance of having a really complicated password that no one could ever guess. As if anyone is going to bother hacking a pubescent girl’s school email account. The only emails I ever got on my school account were from my friends when we were sat next to one another in the computer lab and they were normally so full of code names, teen-speak and private jokes that no one would understand them anyway. At Henley they even used to automatically reset our passwords for us every few months so we HAD to change them. I only forget complicated passwords and anyone who hacks me is probably going to be a close friend who just wants to write “I’M PREGNANT/GAY/RETARDED!” (same difference) in my facebook status update. Once you get hacked by a stranger who genuinely hates you, I think that means you’ve made it. Company car, Vogue cover, hacked by a stranger. Congratulations, Streetboners!
Untitled

Dear Street Carnage,
So when I was setting up this site and messing around with my links and stuff I had Street Carnage listed. Then later, when I went to check said Street Carnage all I got when I clicked on my bookmark was the following message: “You were told repeatedly to stop promoting your awful blog”. I wasn’t sure what was going on. Had Street Carnage somehow worked out that I had linked my blog to theirs? It seemed a typical offense from McInnes, railing against self-important losers who rant on the internet about meaningless bullshit, who hope to look cool/somehow improve google rankings or whatever by linking to SBTVC. Obviously, I have no idea how any of this shit actually works, so it might have been that they got hacked as this post claimed. But I was sure that that chick was just as clueless. There had been no mention of it on Street Carnage so I just went ahead and got a little irritated. This doesn’t even need to be said, but:
[Edited for length. Entire post is on Icarus link]
UPDATE (not really an update)
I ended up reading dude’s entire post and he got an email back from McInnes about bans (way down the bottom). But how was I targeted? I am so confused. And what about this whole “pinging” business? Is part of this post going to appear at the bottom of that cocaine vid I linked to? I don’t need all those people subscribed to comments RSS feeds coming over here attacking me. I’m only just starting out. I need time to grow. Please don’t sic Vane$$a on me…
Do the Icarus Fit

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED. WE DID BAN ONE GUY. THIS GUY. BECAUSE HE KEPT SPAMMING US WITH HIS BLOG BUT THEN THE SYSTEM WENT HAYWIRE AND BANNED EVERYONE - INCLUDING US. WE ASKED THE NERDS WHAT WAS GOING ON AND THEY COULDN’T FIGURE IT OUT. GHEY. ALL BANS SHOULD BE LIFTED AS OF NOW. HERE’S THE SWEETHEART THAT STARTED IT ALL.

Dear Street Carnage,
Oh snap, I feel like an asshole.Truth is I knew what I was doing leaving my info on your site was spammish, but the thought of being noticed seemed highly unlikely to me, especially by you. I did receive a few “Shut up, homo” type comments, and that kind of egged me on even more. At the same time, if you are going to put that little box on your site shouldn’t you be prepared for such guerrilla style self promotional tactics?? And by the way, I can still access that and leave messages whenever I want, I just haven’t.
Look, I’ve been reading your shit for years (and I mean years) and I’m one of your biggest fans. I feel sort of like I’ve been shushed at the theater by Oscar Wilde for laughing too loud at a fart joke. There is nothing for sale on my blog, just some words, and for whatever reason my stats today are the highest they have ever been. I’m hoping that’s because you and your team have been pouring over my poems and posts trying to decide which one to publish first on Street Carnage.
Call me a fag if you want, but I’ve dreamed of contributing to your site forever. I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to contact me directly even if it was kind of a fuck you sort of message. At least I’m not worried about hackers anymore.
I’m going to write you an open letter on my blog tonight and hopefully when all is said and done you will read it, chuckle a little, and then decide to buy me a beer when you come to Austin for SXSW. On that note, if you need anything in Austin just let me know. I’m sure you have tons of peoples here, but I’m just putting it out there.
Thanks again for getting back to me, and I am very sorry for being annoying. Keep up the good work, and thank you for all the insane laughing fits over the years.
With kindest regards,
Darren Ryan AKA daz76

Related posts:

1. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: LSD COSTS TOO MUCH
2. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE
3. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: LETTER FROM WESLEY SNIPES
4. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: THE VIEW FROM IRAQ
5. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: SUPER GAY TACO CUM

This entry was posted on 11.11.08 at 12:32 pm by Kyle McInnes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.