Whenever you find a couch on the street or get a used piece of shit delivered to your house for $60, you immediately get out the blue light and inspect it for Jizzfest 06’ … BUT not with this $600 baby-maker. Anyone who would attempt to have passion or jerk-off on it would be immediately stopped by a healthy dose of weeping and depression.
However, there are so many other things you can do with this Godsend. During a surprise party you could blast out of this thing with red Jell-o all over yourself, or it’s perfect if you have a major, human-sized dick in your life that constantly sleeps over. Simply point them head-first to the vagina couch. Or better yet, wait for the asshole couch cause I just finished praying to every religion that it is rolling off the assembly line right now. Imagine that surprise party…

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