“I’m glad to hear that you guys have been keeping up the coke usage while I was off… doing coke.
There was one morning at HU [Hague University] when I woke up and there was blood everywhere. I had blood all over my hands and my shirt. I went to the bathroom and there was blood on the doorknob–”
“–nose bleed?”
“No, no. I was doing coke with a bunch of people in my unit the night before, but the kid who bled everywhere was just on ecstasy, I think. He knocked over this huge glass ashtray we had and it shattered on the floor. He was really high so he felt really bad about it and was like, ‘I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry’ while shoveling up shards of glass with his bare hands.
Instead of bandaging up his hands, he just carried on and spent the rest of the night high-fiving people and hugging them because you know when you’re on E you just want to hug everyone. So by the end of the night everyone had blood on their hands and clothes. He was stumbling around so there were even bloody hand prints on the walls.
At some point in the night the guy was smoking a cigarette outside and wearing Ben’s coat because it was really cold and he hadn’t brought his own. The next morning Ben and I were coming back to the unit and he reached into his pocket for his keys. Not only were Ben’s keys completely soaked, but the entire inside of his pocket was caked in layer of crusty, dry blood.”
Heard at a loft in Williamsburg
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Let’s hope the kid bled to death because you know he will jsut show up stoned again next weekend after they spent all that time cleaning up.
08.13.09 at 11:11 am
what a goddamn boring fucking story. And thanks for pointing out it was overheard in a loft…in Williamsburg. No fucking shit.
08.13.09 at 11:33 am
that shit happened in the netherlands
08.13.09 at 12:36 pm
cool story, bro.
08.13.09 at 12:37 pm
“that shit happened in the netherlands”
Sorry, I guess I was confused by the sentence at the bottom of the story that says:
Heard at a loft in Williamsburg
08.13.09 at 12:44 pm
revenge of the e-tards
08.13.09 at 1:04 pm
This totally happened to me. My (now ex) boyfriend’s cousin came over and was acting all sorts of douchey, when he somehow crashed into the stove and knocked over a bunch of full, unopened beer bottles and breaking a couple on the tiny 3′x8′ kitchen floor. Rather than just dealing with it like a normal person he overcompensated for his embarrassment by diving in to clean up even though he could hardly stand up, and breaking another bottle or two as he was scrambling around like an idiot cleaning up the glass that wasn’t going anywhere anyway.
In some strange twist of lunacy picked up a rather large shard of glass off the dirty floor and PUT IT IN HIS FUCKING MOUTH. He bit it hard like three times before I could stop him and blood started gushing from his mouth.
By the time the dust settled he was bleeding from his mouth, his hands were all cut up, there was a tidal wave worth of beer puddling on the floor, glass embedded into the carpet, and an empty house because let me tell you one thing: FEMALES DO NOT FIND THIS BEHAVIOR ATTRACTIVE. He made such a fucking mess of my house between the beer, the puking and the beery-blood puddles in the kitchen and bathroom I wouldn’t let him come back anymore without doing a sobriety test in the hallway first.
08.13.09 at 1:20 pm
zzzzzzzzzzz
08.13.09 at 1:20 pm
does Chaely’s story at least fucking please you?
08.13.09 at 1:29 pm
Beavis and Butthead “Nosebleed”
08.13.09 at 2:16 pm
come on, it was a good story
08.13.09 at 2:51 pm
Don’t most people stop believing urban legends sometime during high school?
08.13.09 at 3:09 pm
And…this story is shit. I’ve been fucked up on ecstasy so many times, and I would notice if I was bleeding that profusely.
08.13.09 at 3:11 pm
“does Chaely’s story at least fucking please you?”
No, they’re both retarded and boring. So what? There are idiots who do things that make them bleed when they’re fucked up?
08.13.09 at 3:51 pm
Ehhhh interesting but could have been told better.
08.13.09 at 4:44 pm
true…
08.13.09 at 6:56 pm
poor ben…
08.13.09 at 8:36 pm
one of my friend’s had a couple pits, but they separated them into different floors of the house. but one day they didn’t lock the door, so the two pits got into a fight on the staircase, and it looked like a murder scene with tiny blood flecks sprayed all over the wallls.
that looks like syrup or watered down paint in the pictures
08.13.09 at 9:20 pm
well I like it
08.14.09 at 1:33 am
am i the only guy that wouldn’t let a bleeding, aids infested person anywhere near them?
08.14.09 at 2:53 am
go back to school arv. i hope i get to meet you and punch you in the throat. fuck face.
08.14.09 at 11:19 am