Last night a limousine rolled up to Max Fish and Lady Gaga stepped out like she was in a ZZ Top video. She jumped into the arms of a stranger and then said, “I love you Ben Cho” to Ben Cho. I chased her into the bar and got this exclusive interview that is not available anywhere else but here.
STREET CARNAGE: Lady Gaga, Lady Gaga, can I get a picture of you with my wife?
Bodyguard: No, please step back.
Lady Gaga: Sure.
Oh my God. Our friend White Lightning is going to shit her bikini when she sees this. She’s obsessed with you. Do you ever check that site?
What?
Forget it. Hey, that old NYU video of you is cute.
Pardon me?
That old video from when you were an NYU student. You’re playing the keyboards like a little kid and you’re all brown-haired and shit.
I don’t know what you’re talking about but thanks. Um, can you –
Hey, did you see my Tweet about “Chillin”? I can’t believe it barely grazed the Top 100. It is the fucking JAM. What do they call that, “Go go music”? Whatever it is, it makes my speakers at home bawl their eyes out. That song put you in my good books forever. Can you believe fucking Barbara Streisand has the number one selling album in the country right now? It’s like the whole country is a retirement home.
OK, I have to go over here. My friends are over there.
That video where you’re a gimp is fucking brilliant.
Thank you very much.
Fucking LA Reid, eh?
Huh?
Fucking LA Reid. Had you, said, “Meh, I don’t see any hits here. Let’s drop her,” then you go on to dominate the charts forever. He must be fucking kicking himself. Like that guy who kicked the Sex Pistols off of EMI.
I gotta go.
Hey did you know Ho-Chunk Indians used to say “Caca” for Grandma but then they found out that means “poo poo” so they changed it to “Gaga”? My mother-in-law is Indian, so the kids call her Gaga, and I just started calling her Lady Gaga. I just left her like, ten minutes ago. I was all, “Bye Lady Gaga” and then you roll up right after. How random is that? It’s randomonium!
Uh huh. Excuse me.
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This sounds pretty close to an interview I did with Dustin Diamond a few years back
10.14.09 at 6:33 pm
I heard she’s the actual Eric Cartman’s mom.
10.14.09 at 6:46 pm
Gav, I think your way cooler than lady gagger.
10.14.09 at 7:22 pm
did you feel her penor a.k.a. her “ho chunk”?
10.14.09 at 7:53 pm
yeah
10.14.09 at 8:02 pm
she was cuter when she was all jewy.
10.14.09 at 8:31 pm
lady gaga has a dick and she sucks it.
10.14.09 at 10:37 pm
Why do colored people wear their baseball caps like silly geese?
10.14.09 at 10:49 pm
The bodega clerk is reading the Polynesian issue of Frank. Thanks for the recommendation, Wolf.
10.14.09 at 11:20 pm
agreed she looks better all alanis morrisette.
10.14.09 at 11:45 pm
and sounds better, and is all around better
10.14.09 at 11:46 pm
yeah gavin you’re cooler than lady gaga, but she is smoldering.
10.15.09 at 1:10 am
She does rule, but Wale can’t rap for shit. This chorus is retarded. And he has, like, one mixtape out or someshit so I’m doubting his whip game.
10.15.09 at 2:32 am
i’ll pray that it went down just like this.
10.15.09 at 3:31 am
That Chillin’ song is like some kind of parody made by a racist Chris Morris…
10.15.09 at 4:37 am
Emily. McInnes.
10.15.09 at 8:46 am
nice nardwuar impersonation.
10.15.09 at 9:51 am
You can almost taste “the drips” in Gavin’s throat, all mediciney…
C’CAING!
10.15.09 at 12:19 pm
She looks like a young Mascis in that NYU clip, and by that I mean Tiny Tim.
10.15.09 at 12:35 pm
I’d like her to be all Warhol/Bowie/Tori Amos, but she insists on being Marylin Manson/Alanis Morrisette. Oh well. At least the music is catchy and undemanding.
10.15.09 at 12:45 pm
What JuCIFER said. I can hear the teeth grinding.
10.15.09 at 12:46 pm
Your wife is so cool!
That pic with gaga looks like they are besties. I love it.
10.15.09 at 12:52 pm
randomonium
10.15.09 at 12:59 pm
this shit is just so fucking awful now. TMZ but shitty and stupid. SC is done.
10.15.09 at 1:04 pm
wouldn’t that be rad if the SBTVC crew did a video where gavin has that see through dry erase board and a big red plastic sippy bottle, discussing the latest celebrity news/sichtings ala TMZ, I’m sure they could spin that one all silly nanners goof poop.
10.15.09 at 1:36 pm
hahahah sichtings
10.15.09 at 1:36 pm
Ummmm, I’d MUCH rather be Jeremy Shockey than that (giant) ass clown
10.15.09 at 2:16 pm
no matter what you do, someone will always complain.
10.15.09 at 2:37 pm
STOP CRIPIN MY NOMBE DE PLUME FAKE EW@ 11:45!!!!!!!
10.15.09 at 4:45 pm
awesome! i dont care much about pop music but she’s so hot in that one clip where she’s all jewed up. is that really her? if so, i would love to hold her hand. wayyy hotter then
10.15.09 at 7:00 pm
On a scale of one to ten (one being worthless, ten being amazing):
Lady Gaga’s music:
2
Lady Gaga’s ass:
10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
Seriously.
10.16.09 at 6:47 am
Lady Gaga was hanging with Ben Cho? So does she do heroin now too?
10.21.09 at 5:52 pm