I never think about my breath until I’m on the subway and then it’s all I can think about. When you’re an inch from someone’s face it’s impossible not to worry about reeking. If someone else reeks, I spend the whole ride wondering how someone can be alive in New York City and not have the, “Am I Annoying People?” gene. Apparently the MTA feels the same way as they have installed breath testers on every train. I’ve tried this thing a few times and it totally works. If your breath is bad, they stop the train and the lady comes in and yells at you in ebonics. It’s a unique way to deal with the problem but what do you expect from a woman named Uniquwa?
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STREET BONER 1127
Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.
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umm… no.
12.17.09 at 12:12 pm
brilliant
12.17.09 at 12:24 pm
also hot
press button receive bacon.
12.17.09 at 12:58 pm
very good!
12.17.09 at 12:58 pm
No.
12.17.09 at 1:13 pm
Yes.
12.17.09 at 1:47 pm
I’m just gonna assume Donna Deliva is a porn actress and give her the benefit of the doubt
12.17.09 at 3:00 pm
Yes. I LOLed at Uniquwa.
12.17.09 at 4:16 pm
This is pretty funny. I’m all for funny racism but I don’t understand why Uniquwa makes an appearance in this story.
12.17.09 at 4:37 pm
Donna is Gavin: http://www.viceland.com/int/search_author.php?search=Donna%20Deliva
See? See?
12.17.09 at 5:32 pm
Uniqua is the train conductor, they get mad when you play with the intercom. It’s pretty fun though, I’ve done so myself as a young lad.
12.17.09 at 7:03 pm
so the whole “push button, release bacon” doesnt squeak the cutsey muscle anymore?
We have moved out of the stall & something new must be extruded from the brain.
I thought all the hipster girrlz stopped riding the L train and started putting their heels and short shorts to the peddles in order to fight against the hasidics filled with temptation in Williamsburg. No?
Actually I was looking at this pictogram the other day thinking (while stroking my hasid-like beard) “when will someone come up with a great something or other to say with this, because I’m blankness”.
When is the Tshirt happening?
12.17.09 at 7:26 pm
Or panties
12.17.09 at 7:28 pm
uniqua is funny. the joke was more in that, rather than a picture clearly marked “EMERGENCY INTERCOM”
12.17.09 at 9:08 pm
[...] BAD BREATH As has been clearly stated on Street Carnage, really bad breath is just a facial fart. A fart is terrorism. New Yorkers have been complaining [...]
02.04.10 at 10:47 am
hahaha imagine the conductor hearing someone just breathing into the intercom
02.04.10 at 12:05 pm
HAHAHAHA! Donna Deliva…erm…DELIVERS?!
02.04.10 at 2:15 pm