I never think about my breath until I’m on the subway and then it’s all I can think about. When you’re an inch from someone’s face it’s impossible not to worry about reeking. If someone else reeks, I spend the whole ride wondering how someone can be alive in New York City and not have the, “Am I Annoying People?” gene. Apparently the MTA feels the same way as they have installed breath testers on every train. I’ve tried this thing a few times and it totally works. If your breath is bad, they stop the train and the lady comes in and yells at you in ebonics. It’s a unique way to deal with the problem but what do you expect from a woman named Uniquwa?

-DONNA DELIVA

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This entry was posted on 12.17.09 at 10:27 am by Donna Deliva. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
17 Comments
  1. dolphin sex Says:

    umm… no.


  2. critical analcist Says:

    brilliant


  3. no.thanks. Says:

    also hot

    press button receive bacon.


  4. mighty boner Says:

    very good!


  5. Charles Says:

    No.


  6. Kennedy Says:

    Yes.


  7. bolo Says:

    I’m just gonna assume Donna Deliva is a porn actress and give her the benefit of the doubt


  8. Clayton. Says:

    Yes. I LOLed at Uniquwa.


  9. Doubts Says:

    This is pretty funny. I’m all for funny racism but I don’t understand why Uniquwa makes an appearance in this story.


  10. Chortle Says:

    Donna is Gavin: http://www.viceland.com/int/search_author.php?search=Donna%20Deliva

    See? See?


  11. bolo Says:

    Uniqua is the train conductor, they get mad when you play with the intercom. It’s pretty fun though, I’ve done so myself as a young lad.


  12. mr.meat Says:

    so the whole “push button, release bacon” doesnt squeak the cutsey muscle anymore?
    We have moved out of the stall & something new must be extruded from the brain.
    I thought all the hipster girrlz stopped riding the L train and started putting their heels and short shorts to the peddles in order to fight against the hasidics filled with temptation in Williamsburg. No?
    Actually I was looking at this pictogram the other day thinking (while stroking my hasid-like beard) “when will someone come up with a great something or other to say with this, because I’m blankness”.

    When is the Tshirt happening?


  13. mr.meat Says:

    Or panties


  14. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Says:

    uniqua is funny. the joke was more in that, rather than a picture clearly marked “EMERGENCY INTERCOM”


  15. STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE » 10 TIPS FOR SURVING A NEW YORK SUBWAY Says:

    [...] BAD BREATH As has been clearly stated on Street Carnage, really bad breath is just a facial fart. A fart is terrorism. New Yorkers have been complaining [...]


  16. npgvorvbqwrgrlj Says:

    hahaha imagine the conductor hearing someone just breathing into the intercom


  17. Don Deliva Says:

    HAHAHAHA! Donna Deliva…erm…DELIVERS?!


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