On Thursday, November 29th, 2006, Iran made it illegal to enjoy, produce, talk-like, or even think about rap music. “This includes 50 Cents,” the Culture Ministry added with their middle finger up an Adidas track suit’s ass. “There is nothing wrong with this type of music in itself” they whined, “But due to the use of obscene words by its singers, this music has been categorized as illegal.”

This sentiment is nothing new. Rock and Roll has been illegal forever over there but things had settled down after the revolution of 1979. Since Ahmadinejad however, all Western music bans are back on (kind of like when Giuliani decided to reinstate that no-dancing law from the 1920s). Iran is cleansing itself of the West and there is no better way to do this than preventing young people from givin’ ‘er. The one exception to this rule is… wait for it… Queen. That’s right. A band called “Queen” with a singer that died of AIDS is permitted in a country that recently murdered 4,000 fags. Apparently this has something to do with Freddie Mercury being kind of Persian.
So, they hate gays and rock but they like Iranian gays that rock. They are Muslims that hate America but they are now bidding adieu to America-hating Muslims like Ice Cube, MC Ren, Paris, Mos Def, Q-Tip, Busta Rhymes, Lupe Fiasco, Ghostface Killah and other Allah-loving funsters like Akon, Kool & the Gang, Dave Chappelle and even Michael Jackson.
The question, Mahmoud, is why? Why are you are taking a giant crap on your closest allies? Ice Cube would love to blow up the president. Paris put out an album called “Bush Killa” for fuck’s sakes (though it was the previous Bush), and MC Ren would gladly help you strangle every Jew on the planet.
Saying goodbye to an army of well-wishers of this calibre is like kicking a free maid out of your house for dipping into the sherry. Nobody makes a better Muslim cheerleader than a recent convert. Fucking 25% of young American Muslims think suicide bombers are “sometimes justified.” Shit, Everlast’s new website (pictured above) is called martyr-inc.com and the guy wears a kaffiyeh like it’s been stitched to his neck. You want to say goodbye to that?
If a gay-murdering, rock-hating, anti-semitic, pro-Muslim country that hates America’s guts is going to make any headway, they’re going to have to do better than promoting gay rockers, ignoring Jew-haters, and banning Muslim-insiders that hate America’s guts.

Related posts:

1. FUCK NEDA – I WANT ICE CREAM!
2. STREET BONER 999
3. WORD ON THE STREET: IRAN MISSILE TESTING
4. HARDCORE TORTURE