The AMI thinks it’s a pussy move to accompany your mustache with a beard and even go so far as to label it “The Spousal Compromise” on their site. It never occurred to them for one tenth of a second that some guys would LOVE to go just mustache but were born disfigured and have no choice in the matter.
This entry was posted on 10.26.09 at 9:00 am by Gavin McInnes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
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STREET BONER 1127
Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.
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You looked like Beetlejuice as the worm.
10.26.09 at 9:08 am
The AMI sits up on it’s high horse and uses it’s influence and power to get what they want, to be damned with all the other classes of facial hair owners. These are not nice people.
10.26.09 at 9:15 am
i love your commitment to this piece
10.26.09 at 9:22 am
holy shit! hahaha
10.26.09 at 9:26 am
Don’t pay the AMI any mind. Whenever I try to grow a mustache it comes in albino blonde and gay. Just be thankful that you can grow a full masculine mustache, one that an eagle could nest in.
10.26.09 at 9:27 am
I enjoy weaving licorice rope in and out of my mustache, then allowing others to chew the tips off from time to time.
10.26.09 at 9:32 am
I just shaved my mustache off and got a Hitlerjugend haircut yesterday.
10.26.09 at 9:44 am
Chin implant adverts please. ARV?
10.26.09 at 9:55 am
Now that was some funny shit!
10.26.09 at 9:57 am
http://www.webb-site.com/images/Kitchener.jpg
10.26.09 at 9:57 am
When I first saw the title pic, I thought it was going to be an article about Paul Giamatti. You should send your pic to his people. Maybe they’ll need someone to play his character’s brother in an upcoming project.
10.26.09 at 10:09 am
Mr. McInness,
Thank you for video, your vitriol, and for your cunning good looks. Indeed, like the Likud party of the Israeli Parliament, the American Mustache Institute has traditionally take a hardline against the “spousal compromise” in that it is indeed the half-way meeting point between the utter weakness of the clean shaven, and the sheer, unbridled power of the Mustached American. It is where your wife or girlfriend says, “You know honey. I don’t think I can deal with the awesomeness of that mustache. But a beard or goatee. I can deal with that.”
That being said, we like you. We think you have great potential as a humanoid and hope that we can reach a soft middle ground upon which we can sip Rich & Rare Canadian Scotch Whiskey, hurl insults at the worthless Dave Navarro, eat feline omelets, and review high quality pornography together.
We hope you continue your campaign as we support you and your way of life, and hopefully you shall come join us at ‘Stache Bash 2009 featuring John oates and presented by the good people at Quicken Financial, as it is truly the greatest coming together of stupid people known to man.
In the future, do not hesitate to call us at 877-STACHE-1 to discuss this in both English and Australian.
Carry on.
Dr. Abraham Jonas Froman
Chief Executive Officer
The American Mustache Institute
AmericanMustacheInstitute.org
877-STACHE-1
10.26.09 at 10:09 am
Yo, take us on a tour of your action figures.
Now, get a “Free Mustache Ride” t-shirt. No! MAKE a “Free Mustache Ride” t-shirt with a Sharpie.
10.26.09 at 10:16 am
Thank you, that was great.
10.26.09 at 10:25 am
the computer I’m at right now does not have speakers… and I need speakers right now.
10.26.09 at 10:38 am
do it for prostate cancer (actually)
http://ca.movember.com/
10.26.09 at 10:42 am
also that website is a frat party prank gone sorely awry. up with beardism
10.26.09 at 10:43 am
Who’s got time for a robe? what are we doing here? shooting a porno? Any sort of facial hair (be it beard or mustache or the often maligned mutton-chop sideburn guy) seems to think pants are now optional. Perhaps the spousal compromise really isn’t chin coverage, but rather easy-fitting slacks?
10.26.09 at 10:55 am
I bet with such a soft chin you’d give a cushioned yet scratchy neck job.
10.26.09 at 11:01 am
pretty fookin hilarious
good edits there mate
i had a good friend who had a similar problem
he had one of those razor-thin beards, like a line, basically drawing a jawline where there really wasn’t one.
he was a nice guy and i don’t know what i would have done in his situation but it was pretty fucked up.
i can’t grow a good beard or mustache but thankfully i’m extremely good-looking.
10.26.09 at 11:02 am
Jesus. No one wonder you folded like a lubed beach chair in that fight. You have ZERO chin.
10.26.09 at 11:05 am
Dr Abraham made me laugh
10.26.09 at 11:21 am
I actually suffered something of a nervous breakdown yesterday, during which I shaved off my beard Accompanied by a Mustache. Total egg face now.
this video has cheered me up in the greatest, and possibly brought me back to base line. thank you
10.26.09 at 11:22 am
That was one of the funniest bits Gavin’s ever come up with.
Oh and sorry about the weak chin.
10.26.09 at 11:25 am
Perhaps a self-inflicted shotgun blast through the mouth would help with the embarrassment of having no chin. But hiding your flaws with a beard…I don’t get it.
For me, I don’t like to bury my imperfections. Take my stunning good looks. I don’t shield my face with a mask, I’ve never worn a veil…I prefer to just walk around proudly and let everyone see. Soak it in, world…I am not afraid of your jealousy and stares. Fellas, if your ladies’ wandering eyes gaze my way…it’s okay. I don’t want to buy their milk…I get mine for free already!
Be proud of your chinless appearance! Be glad that it won’t get in the way of that beak when you root around on the ground for seeds and popcorn dropped in the park. Furthermore…I’m not sure you should blame the American Mustache “Association” for excluding you. If you need a group that celebrates beards…I think there is a Tom Cruise fan club out there for you.
God ’stache America.
JM
10.26.09 at 11:28 am
ahahahaha, holy SHIT
10.26.09 at 11:34 am
cool out star
10.26.09 at 11:40 am
Awesome way to start the day! so funny!
10.26.09 at 11:41 am
oh my god, that was hilarious. best yet. oh god.
10.26.09 at 11:50 am
HAHAHAHA I’m glad I watched that.
10.26.09 at 1:03 pm
What about a nice soul patch?
10.26.09 at 2:23 pm
Hang on. I just thought of something. Wasn’t it just last week when Vane$$a suggested that Gavin “redefine” his facial hair? Does he actually listen to what she says? That’s a cool room by the way.
10.26.09 at 2:26 pm
a HAW HAW HAW.. that was monday funnies for real. going to watch that again
10.26.09 at 2:47 pm
hillarious
10.26.09 at 3:10 pm
Eric Clapton has the same problem. Also that AMI guy used the word “mustached”, the preferred nomenclature is “mustachioed”, fucking phony.
10.26.09 at 3:34 pm
Fucking awesome Gavin.
10.26.09 at 3:41 pm
Quadruple chin! You rule!
10.26.09 at 8:38 pm
holy shit! this was..fantastic.
10.26.09 at 10:07 pm
My French aunt was chinless and bore the brand “saucisson” (a European ribbed sausage mimicking the rings of her neck). Still, she carried herself with grace, lifting her nose in a haughty manner to smooth her visage and married several times (depleting men of fortunes with each divorce). The fellow in this video is technically handsome and can overshadow his lack of sculptured jawline with enthusiasm. That said, I once dated a good looking fellow and made the mistake of inquiring what lay beneath the beard. His profile was that of a Simpson’s character with an overbite that made it seem as if he could eat a cob of corn through a chain-link fence.
10.26.09 at 10:59 pm
this *IS* the reason i grew a beard… well not the video it’s self, but the lack of strong “chin genetics” 1+ kudos to you
10.26.09 at 11:06 pm
wow dude thats passion
10.27.09 at 12:41 am
That was fucking goddamn funny. “BEFORE! AFTER! BEFORE! AFTER!”
10.27.09 at 11:25 am
The AMI is obviously on a mission of misinformation to cover up their own inadequacies. Everybody knows the moustache is the compromise for those whose wive’s won’t let them have the full beard.
11.08.09 at 12:40 pm