What the fuck have you assholes done? After not being able to get a hold of Gavin or Pinky all day I went into the office and found this.
There was a note on the table that said, “Nobody came to our Joyce DeWitt party. Nobody cares. What the F?” Nice. You stupid fucking assholes couldn’t take an hour out of your day to celebrate the backbone of the greatest show of all time? I hope you’re proud of yourselves. By not supporting the scene and only thinking about yourself, you have caused the death of two human legends. Fuck you.
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STREET BONER 1127
Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.
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pooped’em
04.24.08 at 7:15 pm
if they were dead, they woulda evacuated their bowels. i think you just walked in on them doing it.
04.24.08 at 7:31 pm
evacuating bowels are for cowards.
04.24.08 at 7:38 pm
With all of those tattoos, isn’t it fair to say that Gavin is truly more of a colored person than Pinky?
04.24.08 at 7:41 pm
that joke sucked
04.24.08 at 7:55 pm
This reminds me of a picture I saw where two hacky douchebags stooped to MySpace-level cries for attention. It wasn’t even funny when Stile did it in like 1735 god dammit.
04.24.08 at 8:16 pm
oh great now street boners are gonna suck
04.24.08 at 9:15 pm
i’m glad i’m not the only one that immediately thought their undies would be a bit less clean if they killed themselves.
04.24.08 at 10:35 pm
Brooklyn sucks.
Now what am I supposed to do when I’m at work?
04.24.08 at 11:24 pm
would you mind sending their bodies to my house because I really want to fuck their anuses
thanks!
04.24.08 at 11:34 pm
you guys both have really nice legs.
04.24.08 at 11:45 pm
I didn’t think anyone used actual rope to hang themselves anymore. Like, its either nylon or chord or whatever you can find inside the prison cell.
04.24.08 at 11:53 pm
Nope, McInnes and Beckles are too “fun-loving,” to ever hang themselves. Derrick might throw himself off a bridge or in front of a truck someday, and Gavin might OD on something, but I doubt either one of them would ever use a rope. Nobody uses a noose anymore, like barb said. Also, I detect a suspicious lack of shadow on the wall for using that kind of a flash at that angle. Nice try Christi, go take more pictures of homeless people. Nice try slippery dicks. Nice try photoshoppers.
04.25.08 at 12:32 am
what does it say in back?
04.25.08 at 1:17 am
why must we be continually subjected to seeing these idiots in their briefs?
04.25.08 at 2:44 am
Street Carnage isn’t funny. Your collaborative effort is clumsy and reeks of
desperation.
You idiots blew it at SXSW and now you can’t even get your neighbors to come out to have a drink with you. Take a hint: You guys are seriously washed-up.
Jesus, even your logo is retarded!
04.25.08 at 3:10 am
wait, why strip to your tighty-whities before offing yourself?
04.25.08 at 4:30 am
it’s cuz half of us live in Canada, and the other half has to work to hard to live in NY
04.25.08 at 8:05 am
and we can’t spell “too” properly even though we have degrees
04.25.08 at 8:08 am
Their necks don’t look to be supporting much weight.
p.s. This site is still almost as good as the entire Vice site and in some ways better.
04.25.08 at 9:18 am
The only part of the Vice site that has any quality whatsoever are Gavin’s old DOs and DON’Ts that they keep running every day, hoping no one will notice.
04.25.08 at 10:38 am
beckles and mcinnes go to great lengths to entertain you “the critics”
04.25.08 at 10:42 am
jesus, first the lame Joyce Dewitt party and now this auto de fey. carnage is right
04.25.08 at 11:20 am
I think the sign says “home sweet home”
04.25.08 at 11:49 am
Is this an american apparel ad?
04.25.08 at 1:36 pm
Looks like a Joyce DeWitt party to me…
04.25.08 at 1:56 pm
don’t feel bad, no one came to my Dana Plato party either…
04.25.08 at 3:35 pm
Now this is a Michael Hutchence party!
04.25.08 at 3:42 pm
How long does it take you guys to shave your bodies like that??
04.25.08 at 6:19 pm
Your collaborative effort is clumsy and reeks of
desperation guys. GUYS
seriously GUYS a lot of the comments here were typed by hubby homo hands. how are we going to declare war on
All week long, through the endless procession of hours working at the needle exchange, waiting in line at the co-op to buy granola and chard, and posting outraged screeds on the anarchist message boards, she dreams of this blissful Sunday moment when she can wrap her arms in a desperate death-grip around faithful old Sappho’s neck and take a nap in the park. This is what life is really about.
or
First she packed herself into that skintight little number and now she’s filling bowls with cigarettes to spread around the party? This is our version of what’s waiting for you in heaven after you suicide-bomb a city bus.
or
“Coming through, people, coming through! Clear the way or I’ll be late for the Stupid Assholes With Pink Jackets and Tiny Backpacks convention. I’m due to give the keynote address in less than 30 minutes! What’s that? Well, since you must know, the topic is ‘Being a Ball-Sucking Shitstain With Fucking Shitty Poodle Hair in 2008.’
or
Some people out there are saying Vice is selling out to become a mainstream media company run by rich white guys. That’s fucking bullshit. There’s no way Suroosh would change to please anybody.
or
I was never really remotely interested in being pissed on until… now. If it will turn that frown upside down, I guess I can be her human toilet for the rest of my life.
so interested by the way I disagree piss can be a do if you do it right (doo doo) it’s gotta be midstream with at least an 8 9 10 whose diet you observe somewhat regularly and in the mouth splashed the face fareal preferably in the midst of some mindfuck of the highest orders. people who piss the bed and then come were molested as infants. also I heard magic johnson caught aids from sucking a piss filled dick.. you know how when you got to piss but have a raging Erection then you come kind of hard half assed and weird and your dick kind of has that not finished pissing ache mixed with pleasrure. those are the blood vessels firing piss as well as jizz head contractions which squeezes about 10 percent more aids out the JAPZYE
04.26.08 at 11:58 pm
I couldn’t get through the last one. Why are they so long? Vice’s new “dos and donts” are a terrible parody of McIneses. The one about Suroosh never selling out for example reminds me of the old vice do where gavin said “some people accuse vice of being aging hipsters but we’re happy with who we are” and they had a picutre of an old guy in a trucker hat and converse. They are just recylcing his old jokes. I wonder when they’ll start copying street carnage ones.
If you read a book by someone for awhile and you write right after, you can make yourself sound like that person. I think vice just reads the dos and donts book for an hour and then mimics what they just saw. it’s terrible.
04.27.08 at 1:11 am
why didn’t they just stop that shit, think of some new format to make fun of random people.. how easy would that have been. how deluded were they to think they could keep going
how bad they are really bothers me, it’s like someone is fucking with my family or old friends. its like someone hacking into your house thru the door and then cutting some holes in the back of your funny old man and using him as a puppet, like jerking him around all like a spazz and doing a really bad impression of his voice. its outgaygeous
04.27.08 at 8:19 am
have you noticed they use the scale of 1 to 10 waaaay too much:
“these two dowdy 5’s are really funny and they have some 9’s hidden just around the corner that are just waiting to see if you take the chillin guy test and pass… with flying colours!”
04.27.08 at 8:24 am
[...] party at Galapagos tonight. We don’t want you to come. We’re still pissed about the Joyce DeWitt thing. Why didn’t you come to that by the way? Too far? We felt like assholes playing records [...]
05.08.08 at 6:32 pm
fake,face would be looking up if relly hung.
12.09.09 at 3:50 am