Nobody wants to admit this but washing your shit means never getting an STD. They did that in the old-timey days when cowboys would chase some floozie up the saloon steps. She’d pull out a big bowl of soapy water and they both wash their shit before and after the act. In Japan today they do the same shit. The lady carefully washes the wiener for a long time before getting started (I know this because my friend said he busted his nut during the process and felt gypped). Want more proof?
Guidos.
Guidos don’t have STDs. Ever hear about a Guido with chlamydia? Me neither. That’s because they are obsessed with showers. Everyone on the Jersey Shore washes themselves senseless before they go out and they often fuck in hot tubs when they get back. Can’t get much cleaner than that.
Now, I know there’s going to be a bunch of fancy, medical types citing some thing about how spores can survive in soap and blah, blah. You know what else those guys know a lot about? Not getting laid. So take it from someone who’s been around the block: Dudes who wash up before and after don’t get STDs and I’m pretty sure it’s the same with chicks.
PS: I never washed up and got TONS of STDs. However, I knew a guy named Squeek who lived by this code and he never got one. Try it.
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if i ever have sex, i’ll try this, thanks
01.15.10 at 11:22 am
I believe in Squeek
01.15.10 at 11:23 am
Hot tubs are horrifically unclean. They’re giant disease incubators. If anything is going to give you a dick-turning-black-shriveling-up-and-falling-off STD, it’s fucking in a hot tub. The last thing you need is Legionnaire’s in your dick hole. Also, what about lubrication? Water is a terrible lube, and pussy juice is water soluble. It’s just a bad idea.
01.15.10 at 11:59 am
People rarely do it in the actual hot tub though. They sit in there as it blasts their genitals clean then she usually puts her ass up, out the water and you do her doggie. Once again, someone who doesn’t actually fuck is telling us about fucking.
01.15.10 at 12:16 pm
HERPES.
01.15.10 at 12:30 pm
Oh wow, really kitten washer? Otherwise you find this story accurate?
01.15.10 at 12:30 pm
I’m a guido (hence the name Guino) and I can attest that although showering often, being fresh and clean did not protect me against the clap which I contracted TWICE this past summer. Granted… I believe the girls I slept with did not wash themselves as frequently as I did. And they were both sluts who gave it up on the first night. All I had to do was stand there and look pretty.
The thing is I’m not even Italian, I’m Hungarian for Christ’s sake. Seeing how many similarities there are with The Sitch and I is downright scary (changing shirts 3 or 4 times before going out in order to have the perfect outfit, fuckin’ fives etc).
In short, as somebody who is applying to med school, CONDOMS: USE THEM.
01.15.10 at 12:36 pm
‘cept the biggest guido of all, al capone died of syphilis…
01.15.10 at 12:53 pm
Sandy Vagina, my lack of comment on the remainder of the story does not imply a tacit acceptance of it.
01.15.10 at 1:16 pm
You got the clap twice?? How did that day go?
01.15.10 at 1:35 pm
Here here. But this is not news, this has been said many a time.
01.15.10 at 1:39 pm
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more scientific study in my life. Take it from Street Boners, kids, anecdotal evidence is all you need!
01.15.10 at 1:49 pm
jersey shore is the best.
01.15.10 at 2:05 pm
I’m part dego. To be honest, we wash ourselves so thouroghly because we get so greasy. We’re like goldfish with a case of the ick.
01.15.10 at 2:37 pm
I never would have guesses they washed so often, what with them smelling so bad and being so greasy.
01.15.10 at 4:45 pm
Hey, it can’t hurt either way.
01.15.10 at 5:24 pm
@rosetta stoned sweet shout-out for ick…had a whole tank of fish die from that…totally bummer.
01.15.10 at 5:25 pm
Once, I thought I had an STD but turns out it was a disease called Hot Tub Folliculitis.
https://health.google.com/health/ref/Folliculitis
No joke.
01.15.10 at 11:11 pm
This article is bordering on reckless endangerment
01.16.10 at 3:12 am
has about the same intellectual heft as their political stuff
01.16.10 at 12:22 pm
wow – guino made me crack up hard – ahahaha hungarians are so damn funny
01.16.10 at 2:05 pm
gavin mcinnes: sex haver
also someone give guino a job please
01.16.10 at 6:25 pm
hot water and soap kills a lot of shit. Also, splash some listerine or whiskey on there too – alcohol deactivates hiv, herpes, most types of hep, and more!
01.17.10 at 2:11 am