You are doing yourself an incredible disservice if you do not watch this video Corey Haim made in the early ’90s to convince people he was sober. He’s totally high as a kite in the whole thing.

And if you’ve seen The Two Coreys, the most underrated reality show of our time, he still is, some 15 years later.

Anyway, in the following video, he expresses his passion for music. As far as musical tastes, he’s into “that Japanese funk” (???), and he believes that Prince “is the future,” even though at this point, the apex of Prince’s career was already in the past. Like many people on stimulants, he deludes himself into believing that he can do anything. Notice that he plays the keyboards with one finger.

He also pretends to know what those knobs on the side are for.

Other things we learn:
Who he looks up to: John Ritter

His plans for the future: He’s “moving towards the writing and uh, the directing thing too.”

How he’s feeling: “I’d have to say the way I’m feeling nowadays would be intense and powerful.” Cocaine will do that to you.

Why he loves kissing: “Kissing a girl is like having dolphins swimming through your blood stream.” And by “dolphins” he means “heroin.”

There’s also an awesome modeling session he does, at his own expense, which is probably the gayest thing he’s done since he began having sex with men for drug money. Anyways, enjoy!

No related posts.

This entry was posted on 08.12.08 at 3:10 pm by Denise . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
16 Comments
  1. lol@u Says:

    seriously, those beats were hot. if that’s japanese funk, I like it!


  2. Trust funded Says:

    I love that the soundtrack to his delusion is “theme to fashion shoot” from episode 6 of Baywatch Nights


  3. Haze Says:

    Watching that shit makes me want to OD and die so I can come back as a ghost and haunt the shit outta him.


  4. Mr. J Says:

    Hopefully he can move on to those juicy “only brother” roles.


  5. dave Says:

    i like the fact that this show is fake. its like, tv is so shit right now you have to ask yourself what would a really good show be about? how about corey and corey working shit out? and how much would it be if the real coreys played corey and corey? i think the scripted program is way better than the real thing would be.


  6. ronton Says:

    fuck this retard, he reminds me of myself


  7. dick assgrab Says:

    dude, the only thing better than this, KRUNNK SHUTTLE. (thats not a typo.)

    i am amazed that it has not taken the planet by storm. the best bits from this video. and some pretty amazing costars as well.


  8. dick assgrab Says:

    p.s.- youtube it…… KRUNNK SHUTTLE


  9. Brian Says:

    I wish I was HAIM-med right now.


  10. accolades Says:

    This guy is a piece of shit. What a dink. I believe in some ordered universe that his life is a joke at his expense.


  11. dave Says:

    how do you know the modeling session was at his own expense?


  12. real bluebeard Says:

    What’s funny is there are 20 bands in Brooklyn who sound just like Mr. Haim at this very instant. It seems he was the future, not Prince


  13. Swilliamson Says:

    Ever since I was 10 years old.


  14. DrinkSwiller Says:

    Or you might have seen me as that adorable nerd… Lucas.


  15. bonerkill Says:

    holy shit is that a sweet lynn drum?


  16. dibble dabble Says:

    if you feel a “dolphin in your stomach” when you’re kissing, chances are you’re not kissing and it’s not a girl.

    i might as well have been quoting him the other night circa 6am.

    see you in tahiti my man,i’ll be in the mansion next door writing and directing.


Leave a Reply

STREET CARNAGE RADIO 07.12.11
ZEBRA KATZ MIXTAPE: CHAMPAGNE

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

STREET BONER 1681

Looks like Dora the Explorer is all growed up and ready to party!

★★★★★★★★☆☆

STREET BONER 1680

This is just as ridiculous as BeyoncĂ© doing shampoo ads for “blondes.”

★★★★★★★★★☆

STREET BONER 1679

Meet the exception to the “Women are attracted to confidence” rule.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

STREET BONER 1678

When I’m mayor, brass knuckles will no longer be illegal but short hair and flats will.

★★★★★★★★☆☆