Ohhh COOOOLLLL, it’s Halloween! Great, let’s dress up as a tampon or a bloody carrot and have fun with no repercussions! Right? Think again, idiots. All of you participating in this occultist event with your Ouija boards and your levitation are dancing pretty close to the precipice if you ask me. It’s a seduction, a way to make witchcraft seem innocent, and then “poof” — you have a broomstick up your ass and Satan is laughing his stupid, hot (as in hot from heat, not from being a babe) face off. But you are probably laughing, thinking ,”I’ll fucking gamble with my f-word soul any f-word time I fucking please.”
Good, go ahead. Dress up like a can of soup and Watusi the night away with the other savages. Go nuts. I’ll be at home, curling up with Christ.
For those of you who are having second thoughts please take a moment to be spoken at by this video.
Thank you.
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Evangelists live in a much more exciting world than I do. I want to move there.
10.30.09 at 4:49 pm
he had to say “Ouija board” and then describe it, because his audience is just that smart.
10.30.09 at 5:25 pm
Nah, its cuz his audience is too young to remember them.
10.30.09 at 5:35 pm
Wat?
10.30.09 at 5:55 pm
woah youre life is so much fun. please let me be your friend : }
10.30.09 at 5:58 pm
fuck, those demons. how fucking mean can you get?
10.30.09 at 6:00 pm
he picked an eye booger
10.30.09 at 6:54 pm
awesome!!! i love the part when he talks about levitation. i used to go out with one of the evangelistic gals in high school. her family kept the jesus channel on 24/7 in thier house because they thought it would bring in god’s love or something. she was waaaaay hot though.
10.30.09 at 6:55 pm
he blinks 62 times.
10.30.09 at 9:10 pm
i could’ve used a “Oww my followingggg”
10.30.09 at 10:48 pm
tell me more about this lake of fire cuz it’s fucking freezing in here.
10.30.09 at 10:54 pm
I wanna ski the lake of fire!
10.31.09 at 1:23 pm
God doesn’t want us to fly! flying is bad! if you fly you will be swimming in a lake of fire after you die…
11.01.09 at 5:39 pm
Oral Roberts is a more interesting evangelist. Plus, he has a more interesting name.
11.02.09 at 9:07 am
Whenever I read your stuff I get the feeling you might be “missing a chip” (not in an interesting way, in a dumb person way)
11.02.09 at 11:30 am
Can you imagine all the Demons in Pat Robertson’s head?
It must be the most depraved shit hole in all existence, he’s always struggling to cover up all the DICKS flying around in his head with religion.
“DICK, DICK, DICK DICK, DICK, DICK!!!!! Oh lord, must pray, help me lord!”
11.02.09 at 12:30 pm