Here’s a home movie I made 2 years ago wherein I quizzed our 4th of July Party guests (mostly comedians) on what this great day is all about.
For the record, this day celebrates the fact that, on July 4th, 1776 America told Britain to fuck off and threatened to kill anyone who disagreed. This bold move cost them about 4,500 soldiers, which is nothing. I mean, the Iraq war has cost that many soldiers so far but in the grand scheme of things, it’s a pretty good deal. The Civil War was 600,000.
Leave a Reply
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Bad Behavior has blocked 4039 access attempts in the last 7 days.
Toby Keith is the best, even better than Chad Kroeger! Happy Birthday America from a resident of America Jr.!
07.04.08 at 2:32 pm
FUCKEN YUPPIES!!!!
07.04.08 at 3:45 pm
Boot in your ass.
Statue shakes fist.
Freedom bell.
That song is gay.
Happy independence America!
love Canada
07.04.08 at 5:18 pm
I would like to offer the girl who traveled 12 miles a respite from her journey. On my face.
07.04.08 at 5:36 pm
Your parties look like a real drag. And I guess your comedian friends aren’t exactly known for their improv abilities.
07.04.08 at 6:05 pm
Wish there was some more behind-the-scene party action on film. Like where’s the cokerail circle in the bedroom. Where’s the bongrip sesh in the den. Go ahead, break down the wall even more between you and us silly web-audience members. I thought you knew how to party Gav, and I only saw a few beers.
07.04.08 at 8:35 pm
It’s always nice to be reminded that glamorous NYC types are just as boring and uninformed as everyone else.
07.05.08 at 1:36 am
those parties look even worse than mine
07.05.08 at 4:10 am
Unreal. Not only are my friends smarter and better looking than your friends, they’re also funnier. I can’t even tell you what a great mood this has put me in.
07.05.08 at 10:33 am
Ditto me for Vane$$a. Vanitas vanitatum, et omnia vanitas!
And, kids, stay in school.
07.05.08 at 11:19 am
wait… I think I’ve seen this before…this is the beginning of Cloverfield, right?
07.05.08 at 11:50 am
A lot of funny people there… Leo Allen, Fred Armisen, Kristen Schaal, David Cross, that southern girl from Variety Shac… and that other guy.
07.05.08 at 5:34 pm
Look, the elephant in the room concerning this comment board is “how did America really get started”, so lets clear this up: Thomas Jefferson raped a slave-baby and when he pulled out to jizz, America was born. Before that, America was just a tiny island. Also, TJ was afraid of jerkin’ it(as were most people at the time) so it was a particularly powerful bust. This also made the earth spherical (from the sheer weight/volume of spunk/America) as it was flat prior to this event so the weight distribution became unstable(America being at the end of flat-earth) causing the flat-earth to bend down and then eventually back upon itself. As far as the civil war goes, must we consult the children’s rhyme? “In 1492, the civil war happened also”.
07.05.08 at 10:48 pm
The people who tell you that these folks are funny are the same ones who tell you that Ivy Leaguers make the best politicians, that Avril Lavigne is punk rock, and that PBR is good beer. Actually being funny and being successful at being funny because the American audience is completely lame are two very different things.
07.06.08 at 12:40 pm
Good call d. bone-rage, David Cross fans love Avril Lavigne. I heard they might even tour together.
07.06.08 at 2:13 pm
Perhaps I exaggerate a bit, but it’s essentially the same media machine that supports these questionable assessments. In a culture where we have Avril Lavigne at the absolute central nadir/norm of truly popular pop culture, you’re going to have a fairly sophisticated minority audience who will be so desperate for someone to relate to that they’ll settle for just about anything. I like David Cross. He did highly amusing work in Ghost World, but something like Arrested development is tedious, overrated shit that looks good only when the average fare is so horrible. If American culture was even remotely advanced to the point where it should be, Arrested development would be considered on the same level that we currently consider something like Saved by the Bell. It’s all relative. In a super dumb society, a dumb, unfunny show like Arrested development suddenly becomes a critical darling. Seriously, how many truly funny people/shows has the media produced in the last 50 years, and I mean lasting funniness that makes you laugh out loud, over and over again? Personally, and off the top of my head, I accord legend status to Richard Pryor, Bill Hicks, and the Larry Sanders Show. There might be more, but I’m super fucking stoned right now and drinking Courvoisier, but my point is that for someone like me, all I see is this neanderthal shit, and my taste buds won’t be mollified by essentially average performers who thrive in a dumbed down society as the purported “cutting edge.” A lack of competition inspires them to produce half-assed shit. I mean come on, look at your average talk show monologue. Funny? Fuck no. SNL. It sucks. Adam Sandler? Rob Schneider? Will Ferrell? The only thing funny about these people is the laughable notion that they’re funny. They’re not. We’re at a point where everything is so bad that the hum-drum looks good.
07.06.08 at 9:24 pm
“He did highly amusing work in Ghost World…”
Great Job!
07.07.08 at 1:41 am
i hope you suck george carlin’s unfunny cock in hell for the rest of eternity. i’m not one to get snippy in comments sections, but i want to publicly make known this wish.
07.07.08 at 4:37 am
the above comment was not by D Bone Rage it was ADDRESSED to him. i got confused.
p.s. fuck d. bone-rage!!
07.07.08 at 4:38 am
d. bone-rage-
judging by your comments you seem like a riot to hang out with. can we party?
07.07.08 at 9:08 am
more photo op than party
07.07.08 at 12:03 pm
Man, weed makes you overthink television way too much. It’s just entertainment, shit head, its not meant to be ridiculously ground breaking, funny, and intelligent. Read a book.
07.07.08 at 1:27 pm
i thought arrested development was funny.
07.07.08 at 2:31 pm
hey d-bone-rager,
I just wanted you to know that I just got back from the future. While I was there I fucked all of your daughters (you have two of them), and since it didn’t matter that one of them was underage, I fucked her with a david cross mask on, painted blue, while listening to ‘the final count down’. She squealed, I laughed, and then I smeared blue paint all over her veejay so that when you got home from work (you’re a social worker who spends all their time on the computer, neglecting the kids you’re supposed to be helping while simultaneously dropping mad philosophical science to your buddies on half-life 45.99) you’d see that blue paint mixed in with the blood of your daughter’s hymen, starring down at a blue-faced mask of david cross, and you’d remember the day I told you about the day that’s you’d be the v-bone-rag-washer.
I forgot to mention that because you’re a convicted sex offender by this point, you’re not actually allowed to wash off your defiled and deflowered daughter. Your wife washed her off, and you washed the rag. I didn’t check my future machine, so I don’t know whether you rubbed your face in it, but I don’t really need to do that, do I?
07.07.08 at 3:58 pm
Fuck I really don’t want to turn 30
07.07.08 at 6:22 pm
these are the type of friendships that make you feel better about yourself because you’ve got the upper hand over your compadres in every area. ugh. i guess we could all surround ourselves with retards and call them friends, couldn’t we?
my best friend and i talk on the phone daily and see each other in person once a year. my other friends and i email each other once or twice a week and see each other every three months, never more than that.
i cannot fathom how people can stand to be surrounded by other people, especially blank heads, on a regular basis. maybe loneliness. maybe your mind doesn’t keep you entertained enough to enjoy your alone time.
03.11.09 at 11:32 am
who likes smrt comidians
07.29.09 at 2:22 am
Fred Armisden is often funny, sometimes hilarious. David Cross is funny, occasionally. Other times he’s a negative, unfunny idiotic douchenozzle. Esp. when spouting tired ignorant Leftist Bush-deranged garbage that showcases his childish perspective on politics. Kristen Schall fucking rules, and her standup bit about Law & Order is ACE. That dude from The State is the man, because anyone that anything to do with The State is unimpeachable. Gavin–invite me next time, I’ll bring the PF Chang to chop chop and num num.
01.06.10 at 11:48 pm