my best friend and i talk on the phone daily and see each other in person once a year. my other friends and i email each other once or twice a week and see each other every three months, never more than that.

i cannot fathom how people can stand to be surrounded by other people, especially blank heads, on a regular basis. maybe loneliness. maybe your mind doesn’t keep you entertained enough to enjoy your alone time.

I just wanted you to know that I just got back from the future. While I was there I fucked all of your daughters (you have two of them), and since it didn’t matter that one of them was underage, I fucked her with a david cross mask on, painted blue, while listening to ‘the final count down’. She squealed, I laughed, and then I smeared blue paint all over her veejay so that when you got home from work (you’re a social worker who spends all their time on the computer, neglecting the kids you’re supposed to be helping while simultaneously dropping mad philosophical science to your buddies on half-life 45.99) you’d see that blue paint mixed in with the blood of your daughter’s hymen, starring down at a blue-faced mask of david cross, and you’d remember the day I told you about the day that’s you’d be the v-bone-rag-washer.

I forgot to mention that because you’re a convicted sex offender by this point, you’re not actually allowed to wash off your defiled and deflowered daughter. Your wife washed her off, and you washed the rag. I didn’t check my future machine, so I don’t know whether you rubbed your face in it, but I don’t really need to do that, do I?

judging by your comments you seem like a riot to hang out with. can we party?

p.s. fuck d. bone-rage!!