Remember bum fights and that little satanic prick who made them? (Although his appearance on Dr. Phil redeemed him for 5 minutes – see below) I mean there are only so many laughs you can have watching an old guy pull his teeth out for 1/5 of his daily intake of mumble fuel.
If you want to have a really good time, listen to bums discuss beefs ver a pack of matches or a pair of sunglasses. They start off addressing each other like they are speaking to a “your honor” in court (an obvious default mechanism from their years of listening to lawyers and speaking to “your honor”) Then they go from “If Imay speeeaakkch pleeese” to “I’ll fuchkinhg kill you les gowww” in 3 seconds and attempt to intimidate one another all wrestler-like until it is a cacophony of half sentences, threats and bad swearing words unfit for the ears of the elderly, the infirmed and pregnant teens.
If as a passer by, you interrupt them they default back to a court appearance and apologize, then get right back into the spirits of things as soon as you leave. MAGICAL!
Dr Phil vs a younger Dr Phil. It’s like a brilliant, high concept version of Back to The Future.. This moment in human history is so fantastic it should be a flag or a postage stamp… or sumthin!
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Dr. Phil totally one-ups that dirtbag in the lowlife department with that hack set-up. “And I refuse to publicize that”. Really? The Dr. has mastered talking out both sides of his mouth. Jesus, that clip roused “the hate” in me. I was happy-go-lucky all morning until now, thanks Beckles.
05.08.09 at 11:53 am
I condone bum fights.
Also condone shaving your head & dressing like Dr. Phil.
05.08.09 at 12:00 pm
YES! I totally love watching bums argue with one another. They would be awesome lawyers… if you like a laugh before prison.
05.08.09 at 12:02 pm
Hah, fucking Dr. Phil. I totally think Bumfights is fucked, but boy did he act like a prick. Invite someone on your show, refuse to talk to them, and then talk about how you’re not going to publicize something that you’ve already done a three-minute segment about. He made himself look like the bad guy, which isn’t easy when you’re talking to the fucking Bumfights guy.
05.08.09 at 12:12 pm
I bought that book the bum wrote, about being homeless in NY. I got 25 pages into it lat night. It sucks. Set them on fire while they sleep, it’s good for gang initiations.
05.08.09 at 12:19 pm
I vacillate between sympathy for homeless people and feelings of “There but for stopping myself from talking back to my boss go I.” to “There’s ALWAYS shitty jobs to be found if you actually want to work.” and feeling like they’re making a choice to live that way.
Maybe it’s a little bit of both.
05.08.09 at 12:25 pm
Yeah, Shitcock, that’s true. I bet the ones who were molested by their parents or kicked out of mental institutions during the Regan years totally made a choice to get molested or go crazy too, fuck em!
05.08.09 at 2:13 pm
I honestly don’t care if you mass-murder them or put them in institutions; I don’t want to look at/deal with homeless people.
05.08.09 at 2:30 pm
^ Wow Luisa, you are mad informed!!! There must be a shitload of child molesting parents in NYC. Totally gross… yuck even!!! Btw, the name is Reagan. Regan is a disgraced publisher. Did you know they are going to tax black cars in California?
05.08.09 at 2:34 pm
I am so fucking pissed off right now, you’re busy talking about fucking bum discussions while fucking Just A Normal Guy (the original) got a fucking guest post on The Black Beatles before I did! Those Black Beatles better KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!!
05.08.09 at 2:50 pm
Hahaha! Mumble fuel.
05.08.09 at 2:55 pm
Just A Normal Guy is Blognigger you nitwit, so who gives a shit. I like to watch bums fuck, not fight. I am really lucky reality didn’t implode when the good doctor met the former version of his future self, caus that would’ve have meant meant no more bum fuck for me
05.08.09 at 3:29 pm
@Dickchard Simmons: NO YOU ARE! if you actually think that BN is JANG! Now hurry up and kneel you faggot!
05.08.09 at 3:34 pm
I like pancakes.
05.08.09 at 4:10 pm
That is the best Dr. Phil episode ever!!! The Bum Fights guy was really getting under his skin with his videos but the Dr. Phil costume was the clincher!! That’s my kind of performance art!!! Beautiful!!!
05.08.09 at 4:18 pm
@Luisa:
Oh please who hasn’t been molested? Jesus. If everybody who was molested automatically became a homeless person I’d be paying a lot less for rent.
Also if they got kicked out of a mental institution during the Reagan years why aren’t they dead yet? Why have they been clinging on to a meaningless existence for over 20 years? Give it up.
On a more serious note, clearly Luisa is a stupid child with no life experience.
05.08.09 at 5:16 pm
what. exploit people for your own gain. who would do that…boner
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4rkjhHU7ok
05.08.09 at 6:42 pm
bum fights are positive component of community alliance, and are necessary if we want to ensure bright futures for our youths.
05.08.09 at 6:45 pm
“Heated bum discussions” <– also a clever euphemism for the poopin’.
05.08.09 at 7:51 pm
the guest had a good point that dr phil is totally about exploiting guests of the show and making things worse for the poor fuckers; the only reason he pitched that guy off his show is because, he’s pissed that the younger “dr phil” wasn’t fat just like him
05.08.09 at 10:17 pm
THEY HAD THE SAME HAIR CUT.
ACCIDENT? I THINK NOT.
05.08.09 at 11:06 pm
heated bum discussion:
‘my bottoms really warm’
’sp’s mine-i’ve been sitting on a radiator’
05.09.09 at 4:56 am
HAIL.
05.09.09 at 11:15 am
A friend of mine works at a deli called Nate and Als, which is close to the Paramount lot where they tape Dr.Phil. He told me Phil comes in all the time, often with Larry King. The dishwashers have to alternate cleaning the bathroom and when my friend went in there Dr Phill was leaving the stall. Apparently the smell was horrific. Phil stopped at the sink to wash his hands he looked at my friend through the mirror and told him something about “dropping anchor this early”. After he left water started pouring onto the floor from the toilet stall and when he opened the stall door he said it was like someone baked a meatloaf and put it in the toilet. Usually something of that size will curl on itself like softserve icecream but this was just a rectangular mass. They had to close the mens room and even the plumber was wretching.
05.09.09 at 12:19 pm
the fuck
05.09.09 at 5:20 pm