I’ve done heroin half a dozen times. It feels really good. You sit there on the couch like a big hug while 83 virgins blow you as slowly as they possibly can — and you don’t care! It would be stupid to deny the magically ethereal FTW buzz heroin provides.
However, you can get damn close with plenty of other drugs that don’t randomly pick people to die. Shit, the right combo of weed and booze can get you 95% there. Treat your brain like an omelette and gently pepper the booze eggs with marijuana hot sauce. There, now go watch TV.
Why get the extra 5% high by playing Russian roulette with heroin? You never know if the shit you’re getting will take a whole bundle to get you high or if it’s so pure, one tiny sniff will kill you.
Look at it this way, if I introduced you to a nymphomaniac 10 with AIDS and an impossibly small vagina, would you fuck her? You MIGHT not catch anything and it would feel really good. OK, now what if the same qualities were in a 9.5 who definitely didn’t have AIDS? Which one would you fuck? Doye.
So, if this question is so easy, why do I know 9…no, 10…no, 11 people who have died from heroin since I first saw it 13 years ago?
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Jonathon – March 1995
I used to be buddies with this guy, but he found out I fucked the love of his life and became obsessed with kicking my ass. This is all totally irrelevant now because he’s dead. He must have been 20 years old. If you talk to a 60-year-old about his life when he was 20, he’ll tell you about a funny blip he can barely remember where he did stupid shit and regretted it later.
Jon hanged himself when he realized the Hep-C he got from sharing needles was incurable and he was looking at a slow deterioration ’til death. This is especially unfortunate, because that’s not the case with Hep-C. Shit, Pam Anderson has had it for eight years now and look at her.
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Phil — 1995
The first thing I noticed about Phil was he dated Melissa Auf Der Maur, and she was the cream of the pussy crop at that time. Phil was funny and smart and loved heroin so much he got kicked out of McGill University. Then he moved back to his parents’ house and got a job at the local liquor store. He managed to switch heroin with booze for a while but got caught drunk-driving and lost his license. This made him so depressed he called a dealer and did a huge line of smack. His tolerance had gone way down during his abstinence, so his body couldn’t handle it and he died. His father found him the next day sitting on the couch, dead.
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Colleen — October 1995
She was the first person we ever knew who had HIV. Before that, AIDS was some urban myth gays in New York talked about. She wasted away really fast, as people with AIDS did back then and was gone before we knew it. Everyone was stunned when she died, but they continued to do smack unabated.
Outside of AIDS, OD’ing, and scavenging around people’s homes trying to find shit to sell because your $30/day habit somehow ballooned to $300/day, there are dozens of lethal side effects that people never mention. Heroin can damage your immune system so much, you get another disease that can lead to something seemingly unrelated like liver failure 10 years down the line.
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Chris — 1995
To be honest, I fucking hated this guy. He was done with punk way before us and would say sarcastic quips like, “How goes the revolution?” He was in some of my classes in college and once totally humiliated me for not knowing about the Cuban Missile Crisis. He was arrogant and crass but was totally justified because he actually was superior. Now he’s just a faint memory I almost forgot to put in this list. He was 25 when he OD’d.
By the way, when I say “he died,” I’m not including the dozens of times junkies we knew died and were brought back to life by paramedics. Some were revived so many times, the paramedics would punch the shit out of them after saving them. This never made a difference.
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Sanjay — August 1996
Sanjay was in a great band called The Nils that contained an awful guy named Carlos. The story goes that Carlos duped Sanjay into doing heroin for the first time by telling him it was coke. Things got worse and worse for Sanjay until he decided to pack up and move to India where there’s no heroin. Unfortunately, there’s actually A LOT of heroin in India—so much, in fact, that it killed him.
While talking to old friends about this list, I discovered Carlos’s brother (and Nils frontman) Alex OD’d in 2004. I never met him but heard he was a great guy.
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Charles — June 1997
I feel bad about the way we used to make him dance for us when he was wasted. He used to get so trashed, he kind of became the Village Idiot. He loved booze and had to sleep with a beer by his bed and chug it every time his DTs woke him up. He saw heroin as a way to get really wasted really fast, and he spiraled downward until going cold turkey might have killed him. He was the perfect candidate for a well-monitored rehab, but that was unheard-of in Montreal back then.
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Gordon — 1997
He was just getting out of that stage where you get wasted every night and only care about getting laid. He had gotten into film and was starting his life as an adult. Then he did some heroin that was too pure and died.
After this OD, his junkie friends scrambled to find out who Gordon’s dealer was, because “His shit must be really pure.” That’s the first thing a junkie thinks about when his friend dies.
Since moving to New York there’s been two more.
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Ben — 2003
He looked kind of like Charlie Brown with a beard and was one of the best things about Max Fish back then. I’m not totally sure what happened with this OD, but the story is he was a very casual user and wasn’t familiar with this particular batch. On top of that, he hadn’t done it for a while and was killed by the tolerance trick.
This seems to be one of the most common ways people die. They clean themselves up, get better, move on, then they get really drunk one night and forget how dangerous it is. That’s why junkies have to quit everything when they quit.
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Charlie — 2005
I’m not going to use this guy’s real name because he was in DMS and I’m scared shitless of DMS.
I only met this guy once. We were at a boring party, and he and his friends came rolling in with dice and beers, laughing their asses off. There was a standup bass in the room, so one of them grabbed it and started playing. Charlie started a dice game in the middle of the room that everyone got into, and everyone won. Then, just like that, they were out. We were in awe.
The story is that Charlie had actually quit heroin and started a new life. He loved gambling so much, he moved to Vegas to work in a casino. After getting his certificate, he came back to New York to party. Someone had some smack and because he was drunk, he thought “fuck it” and did a huge line that killed him.
Dear people in your 20s,
Hang in there. You are going to get to a point while you’re fucking, about, your 100th slut and you’re going to be staring at the wall thinking, “What the fuck am I doing?” Around that time, “The One” rolls up and you get married. Now, your parents may have ruined marriage in your eyes, but it’s actually the best thing that will ever happen to you. Can you conceive of the kind of inside jokes you come up with when building a relationship with someone for life? It’s a whole new language. Then, when you’re fucking this person, it’s to make a kid. You’re not wondering where this relationship is going to go or if she’s The One or whatever because that’s all settled, so it’s just about the bliss of matrimony. The only words that creep into your mind are, “This is what it’s all about.”
Just when you think this whole new beginning can’t get any better, a person comes out and starts talking to you. The first time you hear the word “Daddy,” it makes heroin and every other high look as consequential as a caterpillar in Cambodia scratching one of his legs in his sleep.
Being in your 20s is great, but it’s only one of many lives. Shit, old people tell me my stage now with the kids and everything is nothing compared to the next huge stage.
So, at the risk of sounding like a stick-in-the-mud, don’t do heroin. If you do it, don’t introduce people to it. If you see someone on it and they look really high, call an ambulance. If that feels too square, pick them up and walk them around the block again and again until they can talk normally. (Seriously, I’ve seen this trick save lives.)
When Sam showed me this episode of “Wasted Pushups,” I was deeply disturbed and begged him to never do it again. We had to put it up because that’s the deal with the site but please, please, please, kids…
Don’t do heroin.
That brings the total to 11.
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Live fast….die fast…..
11.14.08 at 12:23 pm
even looking at their faces drawn in paint, or some shit, makes me fucking distraught. I shall listen to you Gavin!
11.14.08 at 12:32 pm
best gavin post ever
11.14.08 at 12:36 pm
you have a soul, thank you
11.14.08 at 12:37 pm
wise choice to post this with sam’s pushups, but hey people, do you come here for wise? wha vote pleasewahhah don’t do drugs whahawha
11.14.08 at 12:39 pm
Jamie was a good friend indeed, and he will be missed by many people. The first time I met him was in Brooklyn, he had a broken foot (no cast or anything, he was just limping around on it) and we both ate the biggest hamburgers I have ever seen. He drove a little school bus painted like a giant watermelon. A few months later Bent Outta Shape came through Texas on tour and stayed at my house. Jamie passed out in my neighbor’s front yard and the next day I took him to buy a guitar. They had the most fucked-up van I’ve ever seen, I still don’t understand how it was driveable. Over the years, we became good friends; our bands toured together, we wrote letters to each other all the time, and anytime I was in Brooklyn or he was in Austin we would hang out and talk about girls we liked. The last time I saw him was in May of this year, during a long layover in NYC on a flight to England. We hugged when I left and said “see you in Gainesville this October”. Neither of us made it to the fest this year, I didn’t really care since there weren’t any awesome bands playing, but now I really really wish I’d gone, if nothing else, just to get to hang out with Jamie one last time.
Sorry to get all emo here in the streetcarnage comments section. I couldn’t make it to NY for his funeral and I just needed a place to get this out.
Gavin’s right, please, please don’t do heroin.
11.14.08 at 12:42 pm
i like to think of myself as, “not retarded” so i was probably never going to do heroin anyway, but it’s nice to see that gavin is no longer promoting the shit for the sake of being edgy
11.14.08 at 12:51 pm
Knew a guy in Ottawa, he was a casual user ie did it all the time, you would find him hanging around the laff all the fucken time; then the laff was no fun no more so he moved to vancouver where all this pure china white was to be found and he had no tolerance for it and then he died
on another note had this friend at carleton who i use to do shrooms mesc and honey oil with, he was from nicaragua, had served in the army there, and after getting to know him better he explained he had never learned to swim and that’s why we never went to meech lake or brittania beach to hang out. but i remember this one time, he went back to nicaragua to visit family even though that was a bad idea from the beginning- he was found floating in the lake over there, he didn’t have tolerance for living under water ….and so he died
sandinistas got him
How goes the revolution indeed
11.14.08 at 12:53 pm
Considering that 3/4 of the people I know in NY that do real drugs now didn’t do so in High School. They should read this article.
11.14.08 at 1:00 pm
GM is right that its a total lottery – my best friend and i did dope together, dozens, even hundreds of times. same tolerance probably. same connect. same everything. then he OD’d becuz this fucker Roy used a new dude while i was out of town. ONE little change – bam – he died. and 11 years later i am still here. not fair. “survivors guilt”..yup. so yeah i know i was egging sam on in the comments section under pushups to do all this wild shit – but at least don’t shoot it anymore – the body rush alone is too fucking good and you won’t be able to stop and its the gnarliest withdrawal ever (cept for maybe real DTs from booze). GM’s also right that OCs are same as dope – not a good substitute.
with that said.. Sam, when you turn yourself into the equivalent of a thai web cam slut that people can experiment on – people are going to urge you to do all kinds of wild shit. such is the price of your weblebrity. its probably not worth death though – i doubt you’ll get those rad martyr posters hamas puts up in Gaza.
11.14.08 at 1:01 pm
I think I’m starting to not like the gun of which is a tommy
but it could just be me though
11.14.08 at 1:14 pm
Thank god no one ever od’s on coke.
11.14.08 at 1:37 pm
What if Sam OD’d that would be fucked up (knock on wood). Don’t do it Sam!!!
11.14.08 at 1:39 pm
What if you’re only fucking your seventh slut, and you think that?
11.14.08 at 1:41 pm
Holy shit Gavin, you’re not a robot? You actually have feelings? Impressive.
11.14.08 at 1:42 pm
I knew this guy who took me aside once to tell me he had “cracked the case” on heroin. You see, all you have to do is switch from snorting it to shooting it. That way what used to only last you a night lasts you all week. I asked him if he could see a flaw with this plan and he looked at me incredulously. Guess what happened. His tolerance got up to the point where it took $100 a day just to not get junk sick. That’s one thing you should have mentioned. Eventually you’re doing it just to NOT feel sick. It doesn’t even get you high. I think the only pursuit with a darker future is joining MS-13.
11.14.08 at 1:52 pm
Let’s use this message board to list heroin stories…
Brad – started on heroin while living with me and my friend Dan. He tried to pay rent with Canadian Tire money once. He got so bad he moved to Vancouver to get better stuff. Eventually he was homeless and family had to rescue him. He did not die.
Tim – was a pot smoking lawyer for deputy prime minister. Someone gave him a heroin joint at a party. After 2 years, lost job, house, wife, 2 kids and died in the motel down the street from my parents place. Overdose on speed balls.
Some drugs scare me… Marijuana, mushrooms and cocaine are my limits.
11.14.08 at 1:54 pm
Not only did you make me semi-cry, you also made me want to have kids, something I had decided against long ago. Fuck. How the fuck do you raise a kid? Let alone give birth to one?
11.14.08 at 2:04 pm
I have to say it is very hypocritical to post a video of a kid shooting up, and then post another article boo-hooing all the friends you lost to heroin. Gavin, Street Carnage is promoting heroin use. There are a lot of dumb kids who want to be down with this site, and the general NYC/LES “scene”. That video basically says” you can be down, if you’re a big enough druggie”. Also, let’s not forget Lesley’s book, that is about getting off heroin, but only because she was “cool” enough to do i in the first place.
11.14.08 at 2:15 pm
the world is a vampire
11.14.08 at 2:20 pm
Gavin-look at the stats. I work as a rehab counselor and more people die of prescription drug overdoses than heroin and cocaine combined. It’s not nearly as safe as fucking a 9.5 who definitely didn’t have AIDS. Neither are safe and that is the exact attitude that leads people to think it’s ok… at least it’s not heroin. I love this site but you’re going to really regret some of this shit. That dude Sam is so stupid, he’s going to die, hope you’ve got good lawyers.
11.14.08 at 2:26 pm
I like how that one guy does those anti-smoking ads, but then you guys totally glorify H use in this melodramatic way.
11.14.08 at 2:27 pm
I lost my best friend Camille in 2004.
I miss my buddy. God is watching Dandy Warhols.
11.14.08 at 2:43 pm
^^ hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha those arent antismoking ads bud
11.14.08 at 2:44 pm
a “don’t do heroin” post on a site that features a guy doing heroin…
???
11.14.08 at 2:51 pm
i hate itching and throwing up.
11.14.08 at 2:54 pm
is that ben who bartends at max fish? i never go in there and haven’t seen him in years. hope not,that dude is rad.
11.14.08 at 2:56 pm
photos or it never happened.
11.14.08 at 2:57 pm
I was going to do heroin but then I remembered I don’t like shitting myself and blowing guys for money.
What kind of retard actually needs to be told don’t shoot heroin?
11.14.08 at 2:58 pm
I work at a rehab too. Prescription drugs are dangerous but when you take Oxycontin out of the equation the stats go down below heroin.
“2,328 Floridians died of opiate, or painkiller, overdoses while another 743 lost their lives from over-consuming benzodiazepines, which include the drugs Valium and Xanax. On the other hand, about a third less number of people, 989, died of overdoses from illegal drugs like cocaine, heroin, or methamphetamine (“speed”).”
But yeah, prescription drugs kill too.
11.14.08 at 3:00 pm
@ shitty drug
Yes, Ben the bartender from Max Fish is dead.
11.14.08 at 3:01 pm
Gavin,
You are a pretty cool mothefucker for an old fart.
11.14.08 at 3:21 pm
That last one’s my boy 2 Hips, RIP. What a hilarious bastard he was. I can still hear his voice in my head, the voice of a 50 year old Italian mobster coming from his 20 year old Philipino mouth. The 3rd and fortunately last friend to die from H. Fuck I loved that guy. He used to prank call people at 3am, if you recognized his voice (it was hard not to) he would put you on 3-way and prank someone else. Goddamn that shit was funny. One time he called the bf of this girl he liked. He knew everything about this dude, but the guy didn’t know who was calling. He had me fucking crying making this guy insane. My favorite line, the guy says “me and my friends will kick your ass” and 2 says “What friends, the little friends on your face?” Oh fuck that was funny.
11.14.08 at 3:42 pm
I think the reason he posted sams thing, then this article is because the idea of Street Carnage is there are no limits and they don’t censor anyone. I think that is because they asume people that read this website are smart enought not to go shoot heroin cuz the crazy pushup kid is doing it.
11.14.08 at 3:58 pm
Yeah, good article.
11.14.08 at 4:01 pm
whiners suck 11.14.08 you are not me.
Umm yeah I appreciate your effort Gavin but hopefully most people don’t need this advice, for those that do lets hope they take it. This post made me genuinely depressed, but not as depressed as actually watching Sam’s video. Ugh Sam is cute but nothing turns the pussy off more than a guy that is totally fucking sloppy wasted (and I know your probably not trying to get laid if your shooting up, but still). I don’t care what drug it is, if you end up a slack-jawed googley eyed mess at the end of the night you better plan on getting fucked before you go out because no one will want to go home with that shit. Actually I think that is a pretty good deterrent from doing heroin or any hard drugs for that matter, perscription drugs included, you will not get laid (except by the stray infected vaginas looking to score some of what you got). Actually, on a broader level, for the sake of your genitals do not get sloppy fucked up, no matter how attractive you may be sober you look like dogshit.
11.14.08 at 4:14 pm
I meant whiners suck 2:44pm not me. get your own shitty handle
11.14.08 at 4:22 pm
Gavin:
Can’t count the number of times I’ve disagreed with your posts or felt like you’ve missed the point. Never in a bad way though. I can appreciate anyone who is able to articulate their viewpoint, so it’s a respectful disagreement.
This post is the best thing you’ve done for SC because in no way do you seem like a parody of yourself here. It’s a good look on you. You should try it more often.
11.14.08 at 4:47 pm
i truly love you.
11.14.08 at 5:08 pm
oh my god Gavin thank you
11.14.08 at 5:20 pm
yeah, 2:51 pm not me. get your own awesome handle.
11.14.08 at 5:37 pm
I’d love to see the idiot who actually buys into this and goes out there and straps him or herself with a bunch of kids and a straight lifestyle. Ten years from now you’ll be pining away for your fabulous days of freedom when you had all kinds of time to do heroin and figured that dying was something you just might do for the fuck of it because you’d already tried everything else and there weren’t any dependents at home waiting to parlay your death into a psychoanalytical sympathy card that they can milk until their own demise. And don’t be surprised if the person who tried to get you to buy into that shite is getting divorced right about then and painting the town red, white, and brown every night as he celebrates his return to the life of the living who are always so close to dying. Don’t knock death until you try it.
11.14.08 at 5:38 pm
what do you mean you HAD to post the video. that’s retarded.
11.14.08 at 5:48 pm
They don’t CENSOR anything, gimme a break – what about firing blognigger for calling Gavin out on being a manipulating cocksucker, and this whole scene for encouraging exactly this type of immature SUICIDE bait.
assholes.
11.14.08 at 5:55 pm
Where does it say anything about blognigger being canned? Pull your delusional head out of your smelly ass.
I call bullshit on “BULLSHIT.”
11.14.08 at 5:59 pm
he wasn’t fired he quit DOUCHE
11.14.08 at 6:00 pm
i totally agree jive ass messenger.
11.14.08 at 6:08 pm
The New Sincerity is really taking off you guys.
Remember Electrocash? Gavin had a hand in
creating that too!
11.14.08 at 6:45 pm
It was just me, the gun of which is a tommy is alright afterwords.
Smile for the weekend everybody and let rays of sunshine, shine
on in.
11.14.08 at 7:10 pm
It was just me, the gun of which is a tommy is alright afterwords.
Smile for the weekend everybody and let the rays of sunshine,
shine on in.
11.14.08 at 7:13 pm
Inside jokes with your significant other are the best.
11.14.08 at 7:36 pm
the insides of your significant other are the best, provided of course she’s at least a 9.5 or a 10
I know gavin will agree with me on this, it’s his rating system
11.14.08 at 8:02 pm
I’m 17 years old and I know I shouldn’t be watching wasted pushups
But in all actuality I find that Sam’s Shenanigans or
SAManigans if you will have shown me to stay away from all that shit (exempt items are booze, pot, and hangovers)
Thank you Mr.McInnes for putting it into the proper context and thank you Sam for you mustache and Samanigans
11.14.08 at 8:58 pm
my best friend OD in september…he survived..what a dope…he is lucky to be alive…I have the feeling I am going to have to walk that road again, but with more haunting consequences.
11.14.08 at 9:15 pm
I love this. It’s not “Don’t do heroin” it’s “Here’s WHY not to do heroin.”
11.14.08 at 9:35 pm
IT IS SO FUCKING HARD BEING WHITE
11.14.08 at 9:48 pm
Nice article cocksquad. Heroin is a terrible drug in the long run. Like fucking a vacuum cleaner; feels good for a bit but there’s a very good chance your dick’s going to get ripped off. There is not one bit of advice of I’ve ever taken from parents except for staying away from heroin. I have multiple relatives that spent most of their lives in jail for killing dudes and sluts for smack and smack money. It’s nice to know that others think that drugs are cool but that there is a line not to be crossed. Heroin is less safe than taking a bunch of E in Swaziland and sticking your ass up to a glory hole. Don’t do it fuckbabies.
11.14.08 at 10:23 pm
The Case for Heroin Over Family
When you think about it, it’s actually much more low-impact/socially conscious/environmentally responsible to do smack than it is to have children. When you do smack you really only hurt yourself (what’s a few grand stolen from friends and family?) while helping the beautiful poppy plant to grow strong and lustrous (supporting nature). Buying heroin also helps to create jobs for poor people all across the world, especially in places like Afghanistan and America and everywhere else. Not only do they make money selling it, they also make money from manufacturing needles and treating AIDS and HepC patients. Oh yeah, and then the US military…oops…nevermind. Anyhoo, it’s an entire industry with only one real victim (if you wanna call it that), the user. Parentage, on the other hand, completely fucks up the world en masse. I won’t go into the whole creating more of the inevitable human misery bit. It’s a cliche, right (but true)? Question: Is the process of giving birth a cruel and selfish attempt to fill a void through short cut means? Like, “Hey honey, we don’t really talk anymore and time has run out on my cock clock for being attracted to you, what say we create us an in-house diversion so we’ll never have to fuck or talk again!” I’ll let you be the judge. Making human beings basically creates all industries, but that sucks because it’s too much. Heroin users need what? Heroin? Maybe some Cheetos and Mountain Dew? Bus fare? Money of course but that’s why they invented stealing when they talked about it in the…
sadness … Bible. Heroin kills both bodies and penises, thus having a good effect on population growth, yet being a parent of a non H doer creates a long life of buying all that bullshit that never goes away and driving all those cars and leaving your carbon footprint and dropping used condoms on New Jersey burms in the middle of the night. Look at that guy from Alice in Chains. He had a nice little place and he locked himself in there for a few years, having heroin and pizzas delivered until it all ended. He had a low-impact on the earth. Fuck weed. Legalize Heroin. Make it THE official drug of the new America, nay, WORLD. Let’s live the jazz life and cash our shit in before it’s too late and they’re handing us a sober shuffleboard mallet instead of a spoon. Do it for the environment. Do it for the economy. And for the sake of Christ, do it for yourself!
11.14.08 at 10:28 pm
I fucked around with heroin and ended up not being able to stop for five years. I am so happy to be away from it and mourn the friends I lost daily.
It takes more from you than I can convey here, don’t do it.
11.14.08 at 10:46 pm
street cloud – that aint right!
comments have been deleted, mine included.
Censorship in the big H house.
11.14.08 at 11:04 pm
well there goes my retirement plans!
but seriously you heard of Manny’s whereabouts or what the fuck abouts?
hev’s duties? member Gavin?
or was that only toronto?
11.15.08 at 12:56 am
CHOOSE LIFE!
11.15.08 at 1:35 am
Bent Outta Shape fucking ruled.
11.15.08 at 2:34 am
Grow your own poppies and smoke your own opium! usa ! usa ! usa!
11.15.08 at 2:47 am
It’s true. I’ve always wanted to do heroin and I feel like doing it sometimes but now i won’t, unless a hot girl injects it into me like for Sam.
11.15.08 at 7:13 am
Gavin – What exactly are the rules to this site as far as posting goes? Whether or not you care to admit it, this site holds a certain moral obligation to it’s readers… a lot of whom (I’m assuming) are in their teens. You have to draw a line at some point and as a grown man, with a family, put the priority of not posting IV drug use above some ‘pact’ you made towards SBTVC posts. Fuck all the ‘hardcore’ bullshit and own up to the fact that posting Sam’s video of shooting up, with a big fucking smile on his face at the end, will be interpreted as “some wicked video of a cool guy who’s friends with the guy from Vice, in New York and living the life.” I know better, I’m all grown up… but you and your affiliates are looked up to so much. I am honestly thinking of all the kids back in Thunder Bay who know that Sam left to live in New York and party. It’s the dream. They probably watch Sam’s posts religiously and can’t wait to see the next one. Drug use is a huge problem up there… there is not a lot of opportunity… It’s infuriating to me that SBTVC would post that video.
11.15.08 at 9:54 am
getting back to the OD stats: methadone and benzos are a lethal combination – something they neglect to tell junkies (for fun i suspect).
11.15.08 at 11:18 am
During my 20’s (I’m now 29) I became accustomed to people that I know, becoming junkies, turning yellow, or seeing them on the street and they smelled like shit their paints. I was into LSD and other hallucinogens to much to care about smack, and you can only fuck around with LSD for only so long. (I’m sober now)
I know and saw a few people OD and die, I think I was around 19 when I first saw it. The worst situation happened to this one chick from high school. I had moved to Etobicoke and she stayed down in Parkdale. This chick was THE hottest at the school, I heard that there were some real abuse issues at home and she started to dress wild. Blue hair, piercings everywhere, ect.
This one girl who I knew remained friends with her, and through the wire I found out she had HEP-C, and that she had gotten it because she was a full blown junkie. She lived with a tattoo artist, and she also had a 2 year old daughter. One night in the fall, the tattoo artist (who was not the kids father) went into the kids room high, and killed her.
My friend who still knew her, asked me to come down to Parkdale and hang out with them. It was a real weird situation. When we got to her apartment, there were a bunch of people hanging out getting high, popping Xanax and watching Blair Witch. The chick’s skin was all yellow, her beauty was long faded. She sat on the sofa and she showed me pictures of her daughter. I just sat there and did a few bong hits.
The next day or so, my friend asked me to come to Yorkdale mall with her because she was taking “this chick” so “the chick” could have dinner with her mother. We ate at some shitty over priced restaurant where they try to charge 10 bucks for chicken fingers. The chicks mom looked like your typical Toronto mom, yet she seemed to have zero concern for her daughter…all she asked her is if she was going to be high for the funeral, and that right after the funeral she was going to Texas to visit her internet Boyfriend.
I never found out what happened to that chick. I know she did got high for the funeral for her daughter.
I hope she is ok.
11.15.08 at 3:06 pm
I heard someone say once that you can get the drugs out of your body but you can’t get them out of your head. Hard drugs are the worst. I can’t count the number of times in a day that I get that familiar itch. The truth is that being sober is just so fucking boring. You know what I miss the most? I miss the day after you get really really fucked up and you wake up and you clean up your apartment and throw out all the garbage and you cut your hair or maybe shave and you look at yourself in the mirror and promise yourself you’ll never do it again. I miss that feeling of getting better. Having said that, after reading this I am quite certain that going back for “one last” time is probably the worst idea possible.
Thanks.
11.15.08 at 3:59 pm
everybody i knew that od’d from heroin kinda sucked. So long live heroin overdosing!
11.15.08 at 10:26 pm
No…actually G.G. Allin didn’t say Live fast….die fast…..
He had a tattoo that read “Live fast….Die”
11.15.08 at 10:36 pm
GG Allin did a song with The Jabbers (his first band) called “Live Fast, Die Fast”
11.16.08 at 1:00 am
Think of all the push-ups this guy will do in rehab. Some people deserve to be poor losers. Sam is one. I hope he dies happy knowing that his life was meaningless.
11.16.08 at 3:25 am
great post
DO PHARMECEUTICALS
11.16.08 at 4:35 pm
Hey, you’re older than 30. What are you doing with a band?
11.16.08 at 4:38 pm
when did this site become so goddamned faggish?
11.17.08 at 5:02 am
Reply to ???:
You say that the site “holds a certain moral obligation to it’s readers…”, but can you explain to me why this potential obligation wouldn’t be almost continually broken by each new post? Take a couple examples from the past two weeks: there was a mocking article about a guy who committed suicide on webcam, a mocking article about a woman who injected her face with cooking oil, a mocking article about a drunk guy stumbling around in Times Square. At the very least I think the post about the guy who killed himself, and all of the replies to it, is on a level of offensiveness not all that far from the video of Sam shooting up; there’s of course greater physical risk in Sam’s video, and the potential for spurring on people and whatever else would be said, but I think the worldview isn’t terribly different. And that’s also why it’s so strange to see Gavin and all the others suddenly getting serious and emotional when they’re forced to confront the video–it makes me want to ask whether they could ever accept the idea of putting things into another gear and making a few vicious cracks about those same dead friends.
11.26.08 at 6:36 am
[...] with his BlackBerry? I’ve heard that the most dangerous part of drug addictions is when you stop using the drug for a period of time and then start using again. Having built up a tolerance for the drug while you were getting clean, you now run a serious risk [...]
12.02.08 at 3:02 pm
gavin – i knew colleen better than you did, and she did not get AIDS from junk. yes, she dated a junkie for awhile, but she got AIDS from a hemophiliac ex boyfriend who had received a tainted blood transfusion. he was given government ‘compensation’ payments for the rest of his life, and until he died, he shared those payments equally with colleen. they both actually survived for a long time after diagnosis, given the shitty meds in those days. she was a fantastic woman. shame on you for not doing simple old-school fact checking.
01.25.10 at 3:32 am
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07.29.11 at 9:50 am