Hello straight people. Its been a while since I have enlightened you with my insight. Life gets busy for an heiress with a blossoming reality TV Show career. Which got me thinking, since I’m and official It Girl, I need a boy toy who is in a band! Which got me thinking how fucked it is that there are like no gays in the top 40! Faris from The Horrors only kisses me for goth cred, Hank from Turbonegro and that dude from Of Montreal are collecting checks for being fake faggots and I’m convinced that thingy from Anthony and The Johnsons has one of those oversized clitoris’! So here is my list of REAL gay musicians that I’m D.T.F.
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5) Cody Critcheloe. He is the frontfag of one of the best bands!!! The Ssion. [That's him in the mustache, above - Ed.] They have been the next big thing for the past 5 years…WTF Grammy Association??? Get with it!!! This dude deserves a Bowie sized tour bus and me as a gay husband!!!
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4) Hey Will Power is a silver fox!!!! You may have remember him from that 90s band Imperial Teen he was like BFF with Rose McGowen in the height of her Manson days. Now he is still an amazing song writer and has a cute little band and probably a really big you know what that needs to go you know where!!!
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3 )Hunx. He’s in my fave post riot girl pop bands of all time, Gravy Train!!!!! they immortalized me in a lil ditty. Now he has gone solo like Sasha Fierce, he’s like fierce in a rock and roll way…whatever that means….JK!!! I wanna dry hump him in a BFF kinda way.
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2) Nick White plays keys in Tilly and The Wall. I’m pretty sure that he is really smart and is classicly trained. The way his blue eyes shine, put those Georgia stars to shame at night. He is such a sweetie that it makes not want to get porny with him. ..just pure vanilla with a divorce pillow between our pee pee’s.
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1) Patrick Wolf. The Prince of electronica folk!!!!! He is total It Girl BF Material!!!!! He’s really cuming into his own with his new single Vulture!!! I wanna do role play with him…he’s Trent Rez and I’m Torn Anus!!!!!!! Justify my love Patrick!!!!!
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Bad Behavior has blocked 6563 access attempts in the last 7 days.
can you imagine how terrible it would be to be a PA or some shit on the set of that Hunx video?
05.28.09 at 9:46 am
Hey gay people, make me a sandwich, oh wait you can’t cook just like bitches.
05.28.09 at 9:56 am
queers and steers
05.28.09 at 10:02 am
stop sucking american apparel’s cock you fucking shit4brainzes
05.28.09 at 10:18 am
Hey Jonny, this isn’t the NME letter page.
05.28.09 at 10:35 am
Pls trying to make it happen. This posting payola sucks.
05.28.09 at 11:27 am
this might be the worst shit i’ve ever half-way read, ever in life.
05.28.09 at 11:27 am
I’m not sure about Hank, but I’m pretty sure most of the dudes in Turbonegro aren’t cashing checks that are all that big, considering the size and status of one of the dude’s apartments in Ocean Beach. I don’t think any of them will be featured on Cribs anytime soon. (Is that show still on?)
05.28.09 at 11:49 am
homosensuals make me ill
05.28.09 at 12:02 pm
oh man. patrick wolf vid……..i could not hold back from chuckling.
05.28.09 at 12:19 pm
hunx and punx….sooooooo bad
05.28.09 at 12:36 pm
I’m into gay guys as much as they are into me, which is not at all, except I might want to borrow a gown if I’m going somewhere formal.
05.28.09 at 1:43 pm
I like that Hunx and His Punx video. It reminds me of Pansy Division and old Lookout! when it was good for a couple years in the early 90s. The rest of this shit is gay though. Hope you get fucked or whatever this post was about…
05.28.09 at 3:01 pm
WELL I AM NOT A GAY SO I DO’NT KNOW BUT I THINK THE BEST PART OF BEING IN A GAY RELATIONSHIP ITS THAT A GAY NEVER NEEDS TO SIT IN A DUMB UGLY CHAIR IN THE CORNER OF VICTORIA SECRET WHILE HIS GF DIG THROUGH A BIG BUSHEL OF CHEAP PANTY’S THAT SAY ‘COOCHIE’ ON THE BUTT [SENSE WHEN IS THE COOCHIE IN THE BUTT?]
05.28.09 at 4:59 pm
WELL I DID’NT POST THAT ABOVE BECASUE I ALL READY POSTED IT IN AN OTHER BLOG BUT I HAVE ALL WAYS SUFFERRED FROM COPYCATTERS SO ITS NOTHING NEW TO ME
05.28.09 at 5:03 pm
what? No Sam Sparro or Tiga? At least those two are attractive.
*Not sure Tiga’s gay, but he should be on every gay man’s “list”
05.28.09 at 6:51 pm
pretty sure tiga is super gay
but he’s not really an ‘it boy’ anymore
05.28.09 at 7:51 pm
@JUST A NORMAL GUY (THE ORIGINAL)
you are a fucking fag
05.28.09 at 8:29 pm
WELL “ALSO…..” THANK YOU FOR YOU’RE COMMENT, I THINK I WILL SHUT DOWN MY TWITTER ACOUNT AND STOP COMMENTING AT THIS WEB SIGHT NOW. WELL IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THE POWER OF INTERNET COMMUNICATION YOU’RE WORDS ARE VERY IMPORTANT, SO, I WILL STOP NOW
05.28.09 at 8:57 pm
Oh my god Jonny Makeup. I can hear your nasally charicature-of-a-faggot voice just reading this. I hope you do make it in reality TV so that you expedite your way to washed-up has-been status.
05.28.09 at 9:19 pm
I hope you get to hang out with Cody Critcheloe and he just ignores you when he’s not ranking on you and ends up making you cry.
05.28.09 at 11:34 pm
What a shit sniffing faggot.
05.29.09 at 3:00 am
gay people are lame, but american apparel ads have sluts which is ok
05.29.09 at 5:10 am
i like reading comments and pretending what these people look like, and how they look typing in their comments
05.29.09 at 10:04 am