After we introduced the 9 new contributors we dug up this summer, we got in tons of shit for not hiring Blog Nigger. We tried to explain that we don’t even know the guy but you weren’t having it so we emailed him and he’s into it so there you go.
Then an old drinking buddy named Stockbauer goes, “Why are you guys hiring Sharky and not me?” To which we responded, “Well, you’re fun to get wasted with whenever we go to Texas and we appreciate the part where you’re the worlds only remaining fop but can you write?” and he said, “Hell no” so we go, “You’re hired!”
Let’s see what his fingers come up with. This is what the rest of his body does.
UPDATE: Stockbauer’s wife made us take down a video of him being a wasted ass. We think he may have also wanted us to lose the minstrel pic but that’s not any of his beeswax because the pic is supposed to be Blog Nig.
UPDATE: Stockbauer’s out.
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OH GREAT. TOKEN NIGGER!
09.03.08 at 3:36 pm
is it weird that I want to fuck streetcarange? not just one or more persons, I mean the entire site
09.03.08 at 3:42 pm
Stockbauer is a stupid asshole and everyone in austin hates him. I hope his stupid bar burns down.
09.03.08 at 3:51 pm
yep.
09.03.08 at 4:06 pm
Why not make everyone employees?
It’ll be like People Express, but without the brown planes and Eagle snacks.
09.03.08 at 5:37 pm
If someone made a video of me like that and posted it on youtube, I would put them in the fucking hospital. This pathetic, alcoholic douchebag is probably flattered.
09.03.08 at 7:45 pm
whats wrong with being a pathetic alcoholic douchebag i wonder
09.03.08 at 7:56 pm
the business for new-vice rocks. streamline! fuck, why don’t you go ahead and “hire” me? are you even paying any of these assholes? i know! i know! we’ll take all these reasonably trafficked blogs and playdough them all onto our blog! then its straight hits/ad revenue, hits/ad revenue… yeeeeee haaaaawwww!!!
09.03.08 at 9:57 pm
look my wife has my nuts in a resealable turn of the century mason jar i bought in Gonzales Texas while antiquing on our honeymoon. the honeymoon is over so back off motherfuckers. my unfettered lifestyle is for her to enjoy in the privacy of our victorian home, not for a bunch of internet trolls to pad their page views.
09.03.08 at 10:25 pm
Blog Nigger is great while Stockbauer is losing his edge. Sad but like Park Slope it happens.
09.03.08 at 10:33 pm
Now he’s pissed at me for the update thing. I just got this email…
Begin forwarded message:
From: “Longbranchinn@sbcglobal.net”
Date: September 3, 2008 10:45:38 PM EDT
To: Gavin McInnes
Subject: Why do u want destroy me
Kind regards,
James D. Stockbauer
1811 Newton Street
Austin, Texas 78704
Cell. 512-563-8990
Office: 512-443-6314
Sent from my iPhone
09.03.08 at 10:59 pm
Is this the video you guys are talking about?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8dllJe16Nc
09.03.08 at 11:03 pm
YES blognigger fucking rules. good job.
09.04.08 at 5:50 am
well it looks like mrs stockbauar won. all traces of the stockabuar video with Ween are gone. sorry Red
09.04.08 at 7:55 am
I thought Stockbar lived in Williamsburg with all the other deal making uptight dudes in flowing gowns. But Texas?
09.04.08 at 10:31 am
ask him what a gay horse eats.
09.04.08 at 10:32 am
GAVIN HAS REALlY GONE THE EXTRA MULE ONTHIS POST
09.04.08 at 10:51 am
Hay buddy!
09.04.08 at 11:22 am
I am a Mexican airplane parts manufacturer in Morelia who reads NY Comedy blogs during my siesta.I want to thank you Street Boners and TV Carnage for clueing me to what a fun loving character Jim is. Great humor. We hope to work with Mr Stockbauer soon on many jobs. Seems like a guy with real head for business
09.04.08 at 12:03 pm
Lyndon,what the fucking hell sort of name is that,nearly as bad as Brock or Maximus
09.04.08 at 4:45 pm
Tell old Stockbauer to come on back, I mean hey Stockbauer come on back, it won’t be as fun without ya!
09.04.08 at 5:37 pm
Join the Facebook group – The Royal Order of the Flakebowerian Nonesuch – for unfettered access to the life of Stockbauer and all his videos.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=47424380880&ref=ts
This private group is devoted to flakebowerian revelry and is the sole internet home to the underground personality cult of James St***bauer .
02.22.09 at 9:03 pm