WELL STEP RIGHT UP, and tell me what you think is wrong with this YouTube girl!
WRONG — the real question is, what the fuck is wrong with her parents?
I guess I have my overbearing and hyper-critical Jewish dad to thank; by the time I was 10, I was already so convinced that I was a total fucking failure that I would have hid under my desk during recess rather than play sports with the guys who had hair on their legs.
Maybe that’s why I am so fucking PERPLEXED by this girl’s desire to do just the opposite, to believe she’s SO GREAT that she should PERFORM for billions of people and stay in their face even as once-per-MINUTE comments HOWL at her that she should “die of aids” and that she’s been “PWNED by cancer” and “OMG KILL IT WITH FIRE.”
It’s more abuse than anyone in human history has taken. She’s like an experimental crash-test dummy for a bleeding-edge form of online punishment: rapid-fire, anonymous, continual, explicit, targeted, specific. It’s life-changing, serial-killer-making EGO DESTRUCTION.
Even the worst American Idols are not exposed to this degree of punishment. Their millions of mocking viewers can only laugh in their livings rooms — they can’t directly lash out.
Even a hardened fame-and-criticism veteran like Michael Jackson only played to STADIUMS. That’s only 70,000 people, and even if they had ALL started booing in their seats, it would be nothing compared to this barrage of nonstop, highly personalized messages all focused on an inexperienced and apparently mentally-deficient 12-year-old girl.
Observations:
A) WHAT the fuck is wrong with her parents that they could expose her to this? This girl is not just overweight, she’s also got some kind of developmental issue. WHERE the fuck are her parents? The trailer can’t be that big.
B) WHAT the fuck is wrong with humanity? It’s so great to see how people REALLY act when they have anonymity. It’s like staring into a stranger’s eyes from a subway platform once the subway doors have closed — you each know the other guy can’t physically get to you, so all bets are off.
C) Every ten comments or so, someone surfaces who can’t bear the raw and terrible honesty of nature. They tell her how beautiful she is, and how if she keeps at it, she can make all her dreams come true. These people are worse than the haters; by giving her these droplets of hope, they are keeping her addicted to the punishment channel like a smack addict crawling through a burnt-out poppy field.
What a clusterfuck.
Follow Benjamin’s tweets on @Street_Carnage
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STREET BONER 1288
Every time I’m about to give sandals a pass, I imagine Chucks on her and my dick becomes a pegacorn.
Bad Behavior has blocked 3610 access attempts in the last 7 days.
this just made me incredibly depressed
02.24.10 at 11:40 am
The world is a cold cruel place
02.24.10 at 11:46 am
aw you fuck i posted this on my facebook 2 days ago
Greg That was slightly revolting Mon at 1:44am
Amanda hilarious, I wanna see her face when in 10 years she really is brushing her teeth with Jack Daniels
Mon at 9:21am
Amy omg….. wow…. aweful Mon at 10:41am
Jordan http://www.badscience.net/wp-content/gp_morlock1.jpg Mon at 1:42pm ·
William HAHAHAH Mon at 1:46pm
Melis OMG.. IM GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES TONIGHT.. SHES A MONSTER THAT HAD HER EYES CLOSED.. OR IS IT CUZ SHES SO BIG, HER EYES DONT OPEN.. LOL .. OKKAYAAAY THEN.. THANKS FOR THAT.. Mon at 7:23pm
Chris WTF Mon at 8:35pm
William this is way more nightmarish. it seems way quicker than jabba
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVzKoF-66v4 Mon at 9:27pm
Melis im not clicking on anything.. f that Yesterday at 10:57am
William not even this one? this kid has siqqq moves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dci96AvnDKM Yesterday at 11:19am
Melis not looking.. im scared
02.24.10 at 12:11 pm
How would you like to sit next to this mess for a school year? No wonder kids drop out.
02.24.10 at 12:16 pm
Why do you and Blognigger always attribute your parents’ traits to their ethno-religious background?
02.24.10 at 12:29 pm
i’m sad. poor girl.
02.24.10 at 12:32 pm
thanks for the 4chan recap.
02.24.10 at 12:37 pm
Hee hee, it’s just like Street Carnage.
Plus I don’t think she’s retarded, that’s called inbreeding.
02.24.10 at 12:46 pm
I’m going with C). Final answer, yep.
02.24.10 at 1:08 pm
shit, something happened after it was revealed that Blognigger is Benjamin. It’s less……………personal.
I do look forward to a new article each weds but its just not the same.
Can we get one final, one last post from the first and original Blognigger?
02.24.10 at 1:30 pm
Well “no.thanks” it’s like that on purpose.
I’m trying to post more lite comedy shit and less big epic shit. The big epic shit is real time consuming, and it takes a lot outta me.
I’ll do it again in the future, just not every week… Hey look at the bright side- most people hated that stuff too. (THIS CHARACTER IS PLAYED OUT YADA YADA YADA) Ya can’t win
02.24.10 at 1:43 pm
feel that.
keep it up. its usually quality stuff.
02.24.10 at 2:12 pm
I wonder if she gives good head
02.24.10 at 2:18 pm
How come you never answer any of my questions?
02.24.10 at 2:54 pm
ahahahaha. I remember when I found this video I laughed for three hours straight, then I realized the INSANE amount of therapy and diets this girl will need, and I felt sooo bad. She’s like mini-Susan Boyle but not as good at all. awww.
02.24.10 at 3:06 pm
this particularly vitriolic spew aimed at a particularly retarded beast originates solely and directly from 4chan.
I finally looked at 4chan (it’s the “Random” board) — it comprises the dumb half of Street Carnage fan types who are under 20 and stoners. Vanessa would love it because everyone trolls everyone by assuming a voice and persona and irritating or tricking people from that platform. And people post child porn as a joke a lot so it can’t really be all that bad, that’s pretty funny.
02.24.10 at 3:08 pm
hey dipshit RULES 1 & 2
02.24.10 at 4:13 pm
Streetcarnage on a moral high horse? Riiiight. Still, I like the way this is written:
“She’s like an experimental crash-test dummy for a bleeding-edge form of online punishment: rapid-fire, anonymous, continual, explicit, targeted, specific. It’s life-changing serial-killer-making EGO DESTRUCTION.”
02.24.10 at 4:39 pm
believe it or not, some people don’t give two shits about the vitriol that tends to ooze from the syphilitic brains of the perpetually embittered chronic masturbators who haunt the intertubes. i suspect this gal is one of those people.
02.24.10 at 5:09 pm
also, at its extreme limit, disgust and hatred becomes a sort of adulation with its own special frisson.
02.24.10 at 5:19 pm
@ shred bundy
oh shut up. just because someone’s opinion is contrary to yours doesn’t mean they are what you apparently think I am. i once mistakenly assumed that everyone’s skin was at least as thick as mine, i.e. they could never give a shit what anyone says about them on the internet. i was wrong. i’m sorry. golly, why would i ever think that a site run by a guy who made his fortune categorizing people as either “DOs” or “DON’Ts” would be friendly to some good old-fashioned therapeutic shit talking via mutual, unwritten consent? what’s wrong with me? i must have been out of my gotdamn mind when i came up with that bullshit.
02.24.10 at 6:27 pm
As long as you’re taking requests, can you bring back “Ask BN?”
02.24.10 at 6:34 pm
P.S. BN wrote 90% of these comments
02.24.10 at 6:36 pm
RE: the girl
This reminds me of the chick that filmed the epic beard man episode. She responded to her haters by saying something like (paraphrase): “Fuck all y’all. I’m still #1 on youtube. So you can suuuuuuuuck on dat.” She didn’t give a shit that she was getting attention from half the world for being an obese bee-atch thief and hatred instigator. That fact went completely over her head. For once in her life, she just wanted to be #1, even if it meant being king fuck nut for a day. Fame, no matter how it’s acquired, carries an intoxicating stench for complete idiots (i.e. 5.9 billion people world-wide). Look at those women that get all weird about serial killers. I bet fatty up top is suddenly a big hero in her town, sitting around eating bon-bons, getting all drunk on the power of her pathetic dose of fame.
02.24.10 at 6:39 pm
SHIT! It’s Janis Joplin! She’s Back!
I’m a-gonna cry cry
02.24.10 at 6:59 pm
She’s not American you numb-nuts – the girls from Yorkshire of Lancaster or somewhere.
It’s always “ewhhawaahhhh… we americans have the most fat people… wahhwahh”
Well two can play at that game sir. This video presents to you one of our finest fatties.
02.24.10 at 7:03 pm
yeah, that girl is not retarded y’all, she’s just from the great desert of northern britain
02.24.10 at 7:21 pm
Ok, so I didn’t look like her or anything… but when I see shit like this I thank GOD that YouTube wasn’t around (or the internet for that matter) when I was in my pre/early teens. I used to do some bizarre shit in my room, alone, confused and hormonal and I can’t say that if given the opportunity, I wouldn’t have the good sense not to post it. That being said, this chicks parents definitely need a kick to the face.
02.24.10 at 7:28 pm
Damn, bitch’s best friend is food. I think she needs a shower as well; lookin smelly!
02.24.10 at 7:51 pm
Her parents don’t need a kick to the anything. If she can take the abuse, she’ll post again. If she can’t she’ll cry awhile and won’t post again. This is a learning experience.
02.24.10 at 9:46 pm
@benjamin, im the 1 in 10 commenters who would give an encouraging word. you seem like you’re pretty used to people being stoked on you – me, its like the people vs. vv, sometimes i think i have a mild form of aspergers syndrome bc im so ignorant of social cues.
she needs to disable comments and be stoked on sharing. it obviously makes her feel better and is functioning as some outlet. people are fucking awful, she’ll figure that out if she obviously hasn’t. i hate everybody and im skinny, pretty and successful. let the girl live for fucks sake. why does her doing her thing affect you shitbags?
fuck all’y'all
BOUUUUSSSS
02.24.10 at 10:29 pm
woopsie daisy – i meant “already hasn’t” (sorry, im three glasses’o'redvin deep). much love. haters!
02.24.10 at 10:30 pm
If this website is heading in the direction of 4chan (aka the sewer of the internet) then ima GTFO. This shit is fucking depressing and I don’t need it.
On a related note, I really started to notice how much Blognigger started to suck right around the time Ben Leo started ‘writing’ his entries.
Ben Leo, you are to writing what this girl is to singing. Eat a dick (along with the rest of the btards who get enjoyment from this type of crap).
02.24.10 at 11:36 pm
A thin person: eat a cheeseburger, you fat fuck, look out! something just went over your head!!!
02.24.10 at 11:54 pm
I loled 7 times while watching/reading this. On the third lol I loled so hard a poop came out. Just a little one. It happened.
02.25.10 at 12:24 am
This guy is her boyfriend. He’s gay for Harry Potter’s Redheaded Twink friend.
http://www.youtube.com/user/celebfan09
02.25.10 at 12:37 am
@A thin person
It’s obvious you didn’t read the post. You looked at the title and the picture and the comments.
02.25.10 at 6:30 am
How many toilet seats has this girl destroyed? I bet that she drinks a water tower full of soft drinks every day.
02.25.10 at 9:25 am
She has a boyfriend. Damn!
02.25.10 at 11:41 am
http://knowyourmeme.com/i/31957/original/1252690974330.png?1261683238
02.25.10 at 12:19 pm
It’s easy to make fun of fat ugly people. It’s also easy to make fun of a shitty website that can’t come up with an original idea. Whoops. This website is to the internet what this chick is to attractiveness.
02.25.10 at 12:58 pm
Dumbass: If you’re a Streetcarnage fan, Ben wrote every BN column you’ve ever read.
02.25.10 at 4:36 pm
I don’t really see the difference between this video and most of the first-person “personal revelation” garbage on this site.
If I had to guess her affliction I would say a mix of stupidity, narcissism, and masochism. If I had to guess Benjamin’s affliction, I would guess it is probably related to something that happened at Jewish summer camp.
02.25.10 at 9:06 pm
Hahahaha. Oh man, so funny. The ‘OMG KILL IT WITH FIRE’ comment is great. Hey Benjamin, it’s America – everyone is a beautiful and unique snowflake and anyone can do anything and are probably already great at it. Thanks for a generation of entitled losers, you shitty parents!
02.25.10 at 11:27 pm
that’s a girl?
02.25.10 at 11:29 pm