There is a booming market in the Middle East for anything Hezbollah. But there is nothing and I mean nothing cuter than when tiny humans sport clothing calling for the blood of big humans. When my psychotic pal and Street Carnage contributer Nick McCabe-Lokos told me he was going to Lebanon I requested (with frothiness) that he pick me up some t-shirts that I could wear in the privacy of my darkened home. His response; “Sure. But I’m having a kid. So I’m also going to pick up some baby clothes.” So when Nick left with fellow psycho Jake Fairley I demanded documentation. Here it is:

People in Beirut are obsessed with buying things. They’ve got stores for everything. Food, clothes… even baby clothes! Since my pregnant wife is nervous about me traveling in a perennial war zone I thought I would make it up to her by buying some darling little outfits for the baby.

My friend Jake Fairley and I set out to find some authentic Lebanese style baby clothes.

I was really hoping this place would have some cute outfits. But it turned out not to be that great.

Then we hit the jackpot.

Hezbollah baby clothes! Cute!

I even got a long sleeve one. Babies are small and they get cold.

The guy on the shirt is Hassan Nassrallah! He’s in hiding in Syria. He runs Hezbollah and they control the south of Lebanon. Many countries have put Hezbollah on their lists of terrorist groups. But they’ve really got their shit together. Who else could beat Israel in a war in 2006 and still manage to branch out into children’s retailing? Nobody, that’s who.

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