There’s some real dick poppers over at Last Night’s Party these days. Filthy ankles is a no-brainer and so is the Fuck You Butt Plug but the real chest crusher is a little less obvious.
You can keep the first two. I want the boyish charm of the makeupless stunner in the old shirt. She looks like the kind of Sleater Kinney nerd that always wears gross sneakers like North Stars and doesn’t even own heels. You know what that is? It’s a blank canvas.
Now, you take someone like that and get her in some Louis Vuitton boots with some Agent Provocateur (or an affordable alternative) and she’s sitting on the bed all, “I don’t know. This seems weird. It’s not me.” Then you start horsing around and she slowly gets into how she looks and during the act you catch her pulling up one of her tights because she sees it’s falling down a bit. THAT moment. That magical moment when she finally comes over to the dark side and realizes how hot she looks. Jesus. It’s like dying in reverse. No wonder they call it La Petite Mort.
Gotta go beat off now. Bye.
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Bitch is hot . Can you stop posting?
02.25.09 at 12:47 am
the shoes alone on the first one leave the other two in the dirt, never mind the filthy roots showing.
02.25.09 at 12:58 am
i read the comments regarding what is considered sexy and hot here and it reminds me of this guy that i never hooked up with from a few years ago. he asked for some pics so i sent three. two barely clad shots sticking my ass out and one in a gross old t-shirt, giving the camera the stink-eye. i threw the third one in to be funny. so he writes back that the other two turned him off completely because they were so typical of what a woman thinks a man wants and that he wasn’t even going to reply again…but then the THIRD, YES THE THIRD, is what really made him crazy. IN THAT MOMENT, he knew he needed to meet me. what a stupid douchebag, throwing his penis under the bus like that. dicks must be so ahamed of today’s men.
02.25.09 at 1:09 am
The reason guys find the 3rd young lady hot is because she is attainable. Some girls are so hot that you can’t even try to approach them. Extremely hot girls are intimidating and way out of my league. Why bother with them? I am at best a middleweight, so why should I try to even fight with the heavyweights in the first two pics? Cusack’s character in High Fidelity was right, “You gotta punch your weight.”
02.25.09 at 2:14 am
narp!
02.25.09 at 3:56 am
to author of post: shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
02.25.09 at 4:19 am
Why would you wanna drool or even look at some bitch you are never even going to meet, let alone be able to chat up?
P.S. lmao @ mr. ok
02.25.09 at 6:14 am
Hot, pale lookin and appears to be holding a gin & tonic? Consolation prizes to #1, #3.
02.25.09 at 7:42 am
I was gonna complain about #3’s long face. But I’m sold. She’s a 7 with the confidence of a 10. That getup would be hot as fuck. But I’d push for kiki de montparnasse and their gold plated handcuffs.
02.25.09 at 9:41 am
Cusack’s character in High Fidelity was right, “You gotta punch your weight.”
what about the kamikaze types? they approach what they believe to be absolutely unattainable women on a routine basis with no hopes of anything other than they might catch her in a weird moment where her guard is down enough to spark talk. you’ve got to admire those types of men, completely spitting on his own ego to take a chance. failure only makes them try harder.
the only reason cusack’s character couldn’t deal effectively with zeta jones’ was that he lost his mojo once he had her.
02.25.09 at 10:18 am
I like #2’s black friend thats shits bomb
02.25.09 at 10:21 am
A sure fire way to remain a middleweight is to quote High Fidelity
02.25.09 at 12:34 pm
Dude looks like an Aztec warrior with a bad wig… NOT HOT!!!!
02.25.09 at 2:06 pm
#3 looks like Bobby Gillespie. Which is cool if that’s your thing I guess.
02.25.09 at 2:27 pm
Or Keanu Reaves
02.25.09 at 5:49 pm
Not only is #3 hot, she is even hotter in person. Also, she is possibly the coolest chick alive. I am lucky to know her.
02.25.09 at 6:19 pm
this is funny to me because i’m trying this with my new girlfriend. she is SOOOOO adorable nerdy cute, but she never tries to actually be sexy at all exept during the actual act of sex, in which she is a complete depraved animal. she NEVER wears makeup, she has horrible sneakers, she has nerd glasses and a 3rd grade girl bowl-cut with bangs (i love the last two items though). she also actually wears jeans that aren’t tapered at the bottom. here is a question for you, how can i get her to wear sexy stuff (or at the very least skinny jeans and those ballet shoes) without offending her sense of style whereby upsetting her? dear gavin, if you decide to live vicariously through me and give me successful advice, i promise to post the outcome and maybe even pics of before and after.
02.25.09 at 8:24 pm
^^ be careful henry higgins. she’ll leave your ass for somebody more exciting once you’re done playing pygmalion pimp with her. please post if that should happen.
02.25.09 at 8:32 pm
#3 is HOT HOT HOT! And Awesome I’m sure.
02.25.09 at 10:15 pm
DHRipper knows what’s up. #3 is way hotter than this pic does justice. even if it doesn’t hit you at first glance, you spend a few hours, and you realize she’s become your sneak-attack crush, even hetero-girls and homo-dudes walk away afflicted with one of those benign crushes on the lass. she’s all the hot depicted here and more. i’ll second that “narp.”
02.28.09 at 2:10 pm
Thank you to “i’m down with AdB” You are absolutely right. Everything you said about that fine, fine chick is completely true.
02.28.09 at 8:24 pm